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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Withdrawals
















It's never good coming down from a high. I gots me a serious case of the Thanksgiving withdrawals and it ain't purty. It's almost as bad as a case of shaky legs ( don't mock me, 'cause unless you've had shaky legs you have no room to judge) but not quite. I have recently returned from a glorious, wonderfilled, laugh -your- arse -off holiday weekend in St. George and here are some of the things I'm suffering withdrawals from:


(In no particular order. I am not biased in any way, shape, or form.)

1. Eating. What? The Nuttall's love to eat??? That's a surprise. (My tone is dripping with sarcasm, in case you didn't pick up on that.)

2. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning playing games. Some of the funniest moments EVAH. I don't care if I'm playing catch up on my sleep until next week.....TOTALLY worth it.

3. Swimming. Who doesn't love swimming in late November. Although it was not too warm outside, nothing beats a pool heated to a nice, balmy 90 degrees. Heaven.
4. Sleeping in....oh wait, that never happened. Silly me.

5. Bonding with baby Will. (Seriously, cutest.baby.ever. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the favorite Aunt. Which I am. (The favorite Aunt that is. Just don't tell the other ones.)

6. Laughing till I thought I was going to puke.....and sometimes I wanted to puke, but that was for other reason which shall not be name publicly. I will only say this : "Hey Todd, what's that on the ground down there?" You get my drift. Thank heavens for turtle necks.
7. Running with my kick A**bro-in-law, Todd. Let's do it again soon, K?

8. Having not a care in the world.....except maybe what we were going to eat next. Seriously, it was sick and wrong.

9. Spending the day with my parents and brother (and his family) on the day of his 33rd B-Day. Thanks again, Dan and Ivy.

10. Spending one of the most wonderful weeks with some of my very favorite people in the entire world.



So, withdrawals and all, good times people........good times.
I have a lot to be thankful for.
Now whens the next trip????












Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Bah Humbug......


Bleh.....I woke to snow covering my ground this morning. The first thing out of my mouth? "Yuck. I'm not ready for this." Lewis asked me just what my whole "problem" with Winter was anyway? "Do you want me to make a list?" I responded back. And I could. Make a list that is. Of all the things that I hate about this dreaded Season. As a matter of fact, Spring and I still haven't made up. I haven't forgotten how it snowed clear into JUNE. We got jipped. And now? Here we start the long, cold winter. BUT, I don't want ya'll to think I'm a total hater. (Plus, we did just teach the kiddos in FHE on Monday about gratitude. I don't want to be hypocritical.) SO, to honor the first snow of the year, I will think of FIVE things that I LOVE about the winter season. Here goes:


1. Well duh? Christmas, Baby! Who doesn't love this Holiday, that's what I wanna know. Snow is a vital part of the Season.


2. Drinking hot chocolate with my kids. A couple years ago I asked for a hot chocolate maker for Christmas and it has been, hands down, one of the best gifts I have received. I love that dang thing! If you ever mosey down by my hood, I'll make you a scrumptious cup.


3. I'm looking forward to FINALLY being able to stay in the house and complete some projects. Can you say scrapbooking? Can you say Six years behind? Yeah. Enough said. I will also use this time to hone up on my Wii skills. I will bowl a 300. I will play MarioKart until I am number 1. I will finish Mario Galaxy. I will learn to play "Talk Dirty to Me" on an expert level.....yah know, all those REALLY important things in life.


4. Two words.....JACK BAUER. I will spend all Winter long watching the love of my life as he saves the world from more peril and strife. (P.S Why didn't we elect Jack Bauer as President of the US.????)


5. When else but the Winter can we get awesome photo ops like this one? Yeah, this is Braden, outside with the pumpkins covered in snow (mental note: throw pumpkins in the garbage), in his winter hat, sans coat, but wearing his FLIP FLOPS. He's my kinda kid. Way to stick it to the man, B......the Winter man, that is!
P.S. This was HARD.....coming up with five things I love about winter. Again, just in case you forgot, I DON'T LIKE WINTER. Somehow I will persevere. Somehow.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Story Time

Who wants to hear a lovely little story? One that involves a four year old who clogged up my toilet, repeatedly flushed it, and caused a quasi-major flood in my bathroom. Let me warn you, this story involves a mother screaming for HELP as POO WATER rushes two inches deep all over the bathroom floor and closely borders flooding the bedroom. It also involves a flustered Mom, who when forced with the chore of turning off the water in the toilet, doesn't do so great a job, but eventually gets er' done. It also involves using every darn towel in the house to clean up the mess, therefore necessitating the fact that I will be doing "towel" laundry for the next six days. (And P.S, have you every had to carry sopping wet towels to the washing machine with poo water leaking all over everything? Not my finest hour.) And all the while......getting four kids ready for church BY MYSELF (which I do every week, but still,no small task) and having to re-shower after my first shower because ewwwww.....POO WATER! Doesn't that sound like such a lively little tale? Yeah, I thought so too.
Oh, and as I final note: I woke up this morning silently cursing the woes of daylight savings time....writing a blog post in my mind on it's nastiness. But, now I am silently grateful for the fact that my children woke up at 6:00 a.m (that's right, peeps, 6 bloody 0' clock) because I would have had to skip church all together......and I still might. I don't think I'm feeling very good....the thought of POO WATER is making me feel a little queasy......I think I have to go lie down now....
The End

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Screw Diamonds.

I think I found the {new} girl's best friend.

After {almost} one full day of doing the dishes by hand ( trust me, not my finest hour), I was more than pleased to receive this little ditty. Look at how it sparkles.......look at how it shines. My new BFF and I are totally compatible.
It's a pleasure working with you, Mr. Dishwasher.


Disclaimer: This doesn't mean that I wouldn't be more than happy with a nice diamond tennis bracelet. It also doesn't mean that I will always be so giddy about receiving appliances as gifts. What it does mean is that washing dishes for a family of six BY HAND made me want to lose my mind. Who has time for that crap anyway? That's what I wanna know.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Horror Story.........

Just in time for Halloween!

If this doesn't give you nightmares......then you must be a stronger man than I. (And by man, I really mean WoMan.) This is not for the weak of heart. Look at your own risk......yada yada yada.....and all other sorts of ominous warnings. Scroll down to see something truly terrifying....














That's right, Baby! Holy-Freakin'-Crappola! This is what I found lurking behind my BBQ when I pulled it out. All I wanted to do was grill up some nice steaks for dinner, but after viewing this monstrosity I had to run into the house to change my pants. Does this not creep the junk out of anyone but me??? At first, I thought I had come across some rare breed of "crab-like" arachnid. BUT, upon closer inspection (And by closer I mean aprox. 12 feet away from the actual critter, but using the zoom on my camera) I discovered that what I actually had come across was a soon-to-be "Mommy" spider. That's right folks....this ones ready to pop! So, instead of inviting her into my abode, having her put her feet up to reduce swelling, and rubbing lotion all over her pregnant abdomen, ( Trust me. Been there. Done that. Pregger four times, thank you very much) I ran for the nearest bottle of Raid and had Lewis squirt the ever-lovin' crap out of that horrible little creature. I don't care if we just exterminated an entire population of spiders and committed spidercide. Can you imagine? CAN YOU IMAGINE? If that spider had delivered her spiderettes all over my back deck! Yeah.....ponder on that for awhile.

Sweet dreams.



Monday, October 6, 2008

This girl knows how to party

Last week we partied like we were rock stars. But how? you may ask. Well, how does four parties in four days sound to you? (To me it sounds like I now need a vacation, but somehow we survived.) How fitting that our darling Savy got to celebrate FOUR times on the very year that she turned FOUR. It will definitely be a year to be remembered.


On Thursday we had Savannah's very first "friend" party. She invited 10 kids (I know, I just might be crazy to have let her do that) and we partied like it was 1999. My sister-in-law asked me what the "theme" of the party was. I told her that the "theme" of the party was this: "Survive an hour with 10 kids, hopped up out of their minds on sugar, play games that bore them in about 3 minutes, give them prizes that their parents will want to throw in the garbage that very day, eat a little ice cream, and send them on their merry way with more goodies in a bag that will make the parents want to rip their hair out (ie whoopie cushions and whistles.)" And that was the theme of Savy's very first B-Day party. Aren't I just the best mom????


Just Look at this wild bunch. Have you ever seen so many kids (outside of an episode of John and Kate plus 8) in your entire life?




Savy took a minute to ask for a little "guidance" from above to help her dear Mother survive that hellish hour. (Okay....really....she's just playing button, button....but HA. I fooled you.) P.S.....This is what I was really doing in the corner. Shh....don't tell anyone.
On Friday, Savy got to celebrate her birthday at school. She got to bring treats (Ding Dongs) and was the queen for the day. This entails being the "helper" the whole day at school and getting this spectacular crown.....of which she has not stopped talking about how the teacher put too many candles on her birthday hat........DUH.....she's not five.....oops.




Saturday was the day of her actual Birthday. We started the day with some lovely presents that included........none other than a Candy Cane Jar. YES!(Said in your best Napoleon Dynamite imitation.) And she was excited.....even though she totally knew she was getting it. And when I asked her how many candy canes it looked like she had in her in her jar she said, "Like a million!" Close Savy..... 30 is VERY close to a million. Didn't I do pretty good? (for a CC Jar that is.)Then later, because I'm pretty much the best Mom in the whole wide world, we took the chillin's to the ol' Chuck E Cheese. You may or may not know the deep "love" that my husband has for this place......(and by love, I mean really, really intense hatred.) Quite frankly, I'm shocked he didn't use his VETO power to nix the whole idea. Surprisingly enough, he had the nerve to say that he would rather have surgery on his foot 15 times before he stepped foot back into that place.! (Like that surgery was hard on just him. Do we not remember the summer?) But alas, Savy had a blast....which is what it was all about. Maybe Lewis would have had more fun if they let him ride the Ferris wheel......Sorry Lew....it's for kids 8 and under. Too bad.




And last, but not least, dinner at Nana and Grandpa's on Sunday, with a birthday cake roughly the size of a small pony. ' Cause it's just not a birthday until you stuff your pie hole with massive amounts of sugary goodness.....and trust me, I did just that. Mmmmm....Cake.....
And as an end result of partying like a rock star.....Here's Savy peaced out on the couch after her four- day- long birthday shindig. I guess some people just aren't cut out for that "rock star" lifestyle....thank heavens.

And finally, to my Savannah: I love you dear daughter. I love you more and more each day. I love you more than you know. Thank you for making me laugh, for being so sweet, for being my helper, and for keeping me on my toes. Each day is an adventure with you and I love every minute of it! I hope you had a spectacular FOURTH birthday.

Love,
Mom


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Blog Diarrhea

Go ahead, grab your Immodium and some toilet paper.....I've got a case of the blogging "runs" and it may not be pretty.....You never know what's going to come out of my head and find it's way into this post..... It should make for a grand adventure.....

**So Savannah says to me today, "Mom, I'm glad you're so pretty.....and that you clean.....and that you're not a nakey Mom."
Savannah, thank you for thinking that I'm pretty and I do like to think of myself as a pretty "clean" person. Also, I'm glad I'm not a "nakey" Mom, either. 'Cause if I were naked, it definitely would not be pretty, and cleaning.....well, you can just count that right out. (Can you just picture naked vaccumming......EWWWW.)

**In my futile attempt to lose X amount of weight and to just generally maker healthier choices, I am drinking a TON of water. (They say you should drink half your weight in ounces of water daily.) I found that this is posing a HUGE problem whenever I want to go anywhere. (Do you know how many times a day you have to use the "potty" when you drink that much water??? And how frequently.) Today I decided to run out to the party store to buy stuff for Savy's birthday party. I was in the car 20 minutes, 20 MINUTES PEOPLE, and there was a moment where I thought I was going to have to pull off the side of the road, put on one of B's diapers, and well, use your imagination for the rest. ( Does this seem extreme, and just plain perverted? Yes, it does, but I want you to keep in mind that two people I dearly love did this very thing.....stuck in the middle of a traffic jam. When you gotta go, you gotta go.....and no, I'm not naming any names, so don't ask.) Then, when I got to the party store, wouldn't you know that there was someone in the woman's bathroom, so what do you think I did??? Headed straight into the men's, of course. (A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.) Plus, really, how many men do you think would be shopping at the party store at 12:30 on a Tuesday afternoon? Right. None. Now, I am feeling like an invalid, stuck in her house all day, 'cause her bladder, (which is the size of a pea), will not let her make even small outings possible. Why do I do this to myself????

** To all the parents of the children Savy invited to her party,
It was purely HER idea to buy the whoopie cushions and "really loud whistles" (a direct quote from her.) I am sorry if you don't agree, but hey, don't yell at me when your child comes home making all sorts of "fun" noises.....blame the 4 year old. (By the way, for those of you who know my dear little Savannah, would you have expected her to pick anything less? I think not.)

**And on this sad day in history, our dear Braden has finally grasped the concept of the Yes/No thing. (Previously he just answered "No" to everything, which did not pose a problem as we all became fluent in deciphering what really meant "Yes" by his tone.) This morning, he was lying in bed with me, and I asked him if he wanted to go and get breakfast. He looked right at me, and said "Yeah." Gasp. Daggers through my heart. I knew this day was coming, but really, why do your kids have to grow up???

**We just got home from spending the weekend in fabulous St. George and I have spent the last couple days figuring out how I can quit my job, move my family to St. George, and do absolutely nothing but swim, eat, sleep, relax, read, eat and swim. We, of course, had a dandy time doing just that. We swam until we were in a swimming coma, ate until we were ready to burst, and just had a great time together as a family. (Can't wait until Thanksgiving when we can do it all again.) If you notice the lack of pictures for said event, it is because I forgot my camera. But how can you forget your camera, you might ask? Aren't you a scrapbooker? Aren't you the self-dubbed "family historian." Well, I'll tell you how you can forget your camera: It's called "save-packing-for-the-last-minute-because-you're-still-doing-laundry-and-cleaning-your-house-plus-when-you-pack-for-five-people-you-tend-to-lose-you're-ever-lovin'-mind!" That's how you can forget your camera!

**In my futile attempts to watch more T.V, I will do just that. Watch. More. T.V. I love Premiere time. I've got my DVR working over time, Baby, and I love it! All my favorite shows back on the air.....what more could a girl ask for? ( Except a vacation.... and a new wardrobe.....renovations on my house...... and miraculous weight loss of X pounds, without having to do anything but watch T.V......a trip to the spa....and a "hot" mirror for every room in my house. And if I were the President, I would give every woman in the U.S those very things.)

Hope you enjoyed the diarrhea. Did I say it was going to be pretty?? No. But I hope it was worth it. Now, off to the "potty" I go.

PEACE OUT!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Candy Cane Jar

I'm royally screwed....that's all I can say. Because I told one {teeny} little white lie, I am in a heap of trouble. Let me tell you how it started:

My darling Savy celebrates her 4th birthday on October 4th. (That's a golden birthday, for those of you who don't know.....when you turn the age that your birthday is on.) We have been excited for many a month now......okay well, mainly Savannah has been excited. So, after much debate about what to buy the dear girl for her "golden" day, I decided on this little ditty:


After all, the girl loves dolls. And there are not many things more cute than this bitty baby from American girl. Plus, since it's her birthday and all, I bought this very special birthday outfit.


Now let's not even discuss the amount of shipping that I had to pay in order to insure that the doll arrived in time for her b-day. (Let's just say that I could have purchased a small island in the south pacific for what I paid.) Okay, fast forward a few days. The said package arrives on porch. Of course Savannah happens to be home.....just my luck. (They never come when the children are actually at school. )She asks what the package is. Now here is the crucial moment. I could have just told her that it was for her dad and left it at that. Instead I decide to tell her the truth. "Well honey, this is a package that mom ordered for your birthday. It has your present inside." (instantly regretting my honesty.) Her eyes light up, and not expecting anything less, she asks "What is it?" "Mommy can't tell you that, Savy, then you would know what you're getting for your birthday. You don't want to know what your present is beforehand, do you?"

But, of course, she persists.....with he persistence of a 3, almost 4 year old.....which is pretty persistent, if you know what I mean. I finally crack: "Well Savy, inside this box is your very own jar of........(and in a split second, in my mind, that is what I said to myself.......you can't really tell her what her present is. You'll have to tell her something that is totally unbelievable so she will know you are just kidding.....say "jar of spiders" no.....don't say jar of spiders.....that's too traumatizing......what mother buys a jar of spiders for her daughters "golden birthday".....say jar of......) Um, a jar of candy canes. (What???? I just said jar of candy canes???? Jar. of. Candy. Canes. Where the heck did I just pull that from????)

I cannot even describe to you the joy that was on her face. It was like "a jar of candy canes just for me? I couldn't ask for anything better" sort of look. And then later, I caught her telling two of her friends that her mom bought her a candy cane jar for her birthday. And when Kylie got home from school, Savannah went right to her and whispered her a secret. When I asked what the secret was, Kylie, with a very puzzled look on her face said, "She says she's getting a candy cane jar for her birthday."

Oh what a tangled web we weave.......now, when I ask Savy what she wants for her birthday, the answer is no longer a baby doll......it is a DANG Candy Cane jar. Does she know how much I just spent on that doll.....does she know that a candy cane jar will do nothing more than rot your teeth out of your head......does she know that her mother lied to her, and when she opens her presents up on that special day and there is nary a candy cane jar in sight, will it forever scar her????? What should I do people? Should I just hope that the excitement over the new baby doll will overpower the desire for the dang candy cane jar? Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I Googled it to see if it even existed and I came up with this glorious little jewel:

And there you have it folks......a freakin' CANDY CANE JAR!

For only $1.52 + shipping. A bargain if you ask me.

And also, who in their right mind buys this sort of thing anyway....just wonderin'?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Saturday was a SPECIAL day.....



But why? You may find yourself asking. Isn't Saturday merely the day you get ready for Sunday? Oh no, my friends. Saturday is the day I got to babysit my brand new nephew for the very first time. ( I have Nana to thank for this. She is obviously number 1 on the list, but she up and headed off to Spain for two weeks, so I guess that left li'l old me. Well guess what, I'd take Will over Spain any day!) I am pleased to know that I am numero dos on the list. Okay, I actually don't believe that is for certain, but I probably owe Dave and Aubree the most free babysitting. ('Cause I have to catch up for the nine years that they babysat for moi. I have A LOT more free babysitting to do, if you catch my drift. )Plus, not to offend any of Will's other Aunt's who might be reading this post, but I secretly believe I am the favorite aunt. Sorry guys. Will whispered it to me when I was watching him. Too bad.


We were way excited to have him over to our humble abode. All the kids were beyond thrilled to have a baby in the house again.....which, quite frankly, opened up the whole "Mom, why don't you have another baby?" can of worms. I asked Lew if he wanted to adopt a cousin for Will, but he was not too sure about that. I guess we will just have to get our baby fix by watching him whenever we can. The kids gave Will the "grand tour" of the house.....and it was grand. They showed him their bedrooms, Mom and Dad's bedroom, the bathroom.....you know, all sorts of things that an 8 week old is interested in seeing. They were jumping around with pure excitement and only jumped on Will a couple of times. (JUST KIDDING Dave and Aubs....I just wanted to make sure that you were paying attention.) He was such a good boy.....you should be proud of yourselves for training him to be such a good baby. (Gosh, that sounds like I'm talking about a pet or something....but you get my drift.)


We were sad to see him go. He was sad to go. You know how I know this? Because I snapped this picture as his Dad was picking him up to put him in his car seat and take him away from us. Poor Will. Bring him back to us soon.....we miss him already!!


P.S Dave and Aubree....thanks for the AWESOME cupcakes that you brought me from your trip to the Spa......yeah, I totally ate both of them.....no regrets. They were amazing! I bet ya'll wish you coulda had one of these babies......PURE HEAVEN. I may go back tomorrow to get two more. Don't judge me.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Hot Mirror

There is a phenomenon in my house known as the "hot mirror." Let me break it down for you....and I know all you ladies know what I'm talking about. There are certain mirrors that one comes across that are more flattering than other mirrors. As a person of the female persuasion, I happen to know where these mirrors exist. (For example, the Provo Towne Center downstairs public bathrooms have great mirrors....very flattering. However, do not go into American Eagle (in the same mall) and expect that you will even look like the same person. Those mirrors are of the devil.) Well, I, Florrie I. Nuttall, have my very own mirror of wonder in my humble abode. I have deemed it the "hot mirror" because I look totally hot every time I look in this mirror. My thighs look skinnier, my hair looks better, my face looks younger, heck, even my hoo-haas look bigger......not that I really need the latter, but still, you get my drift. This "hot mirror" is not to be confused with "skinny mirror" which is downstairs in my basement. I visit "skinny mirror" periodically when I am exercising downstairs, and while I appreciate "skinny mirror" for it's ability to make me look 20 pounds lighter, it does not have the self-esteem booster that "hot mirror" has. The only problem with "hot mirror" is that exists inside my curio cabinet. So, in order to get a view of the goods, one has to crouch past various knick-knack paddy wacks, and bob and weave to get a clear view. But, in my mind, TOTALLY worth it. I mean, to come across a "hot mirror" is a once in a lifetime opportunity.....and I feel it is a gift to own one of these priceless jewels in my very own home.

And now, off to check in "hot mirror" to see how I look for my date with my hubby tonight. My prediction??? I'll bet I'll look totally HOT.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Old


I'm not that old, am I? No wait....don't really answer that question. I know in a few months I'll be turning the terrifying age of.....well, I guess I don't really have to announce that, do I? But still....I don't think of myself as being much older than 20. Well tonight I got a reality check. Dear, dear Zachary was telling me about the story that he read at school. It involved kids going to school in the "old-fashioned" days.....you know, the days of little house on the prairie when all the grades (K-12) were in one school room. He then proceeds to ask me if it was like that when I was a little girl????


WTF. How old does the kid think I am??? Sigh. I guess I should get some more sleep at night because these bags under my eyes are making my son think that I was born sometime in the 20th century! Jeesh.....just what the heck are they teaching kids in school nowadays???


Dear Zachary,
Insulting your mother will get you nothing more than a trip to bed early.....without ice cream.....and more chores tomorrow.....like scrubbing my kitchen floor.....so just watch it buster!
Love, Mom

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Shoes


Oh Kylie. Always and forever will you be my little fashionista.
This morning Kylie and I had a debate....a shoe debate, if you will.
She wanted to wear her little, cute, wedge heel, strappy, white sandals.
They are/were usually reserved for church wear.
She thought they would look just "darling" with her outfit that she was wearing.
She was right.
They did.
Me, the ever-practical mother, worried about her little tootsies in said shoes for 8 hours.
She didn't.
"I'll be fine, Mom," she tells me.
"But what if you want to run, jump and play at recess? Can you do those things in those shoes?"
"Oh Mom, (soundly freakishly like a 13 year old, instead of a 7 year old) I hardly ever run around.....and jump roping, well, I never do that anymore."
So, after much debating back and forth....she won.
"She'll learn her lesson after 8 hours, " I thought.
"She'll see that good old mom was right after all."
And while I was doing her hair, she mused:
"I just like those shoes so much because they're....cute.
It's too bad that they don't make cute shoes more comfortable.
But that's okay.....I still want to wear them because they're so.....cute."
Oh Kylie, wise beyond your years.
May you always pick style over comfort.
But probably you won't.
Because look at me......only 30 and arguing for Pumas over cute, strappy sandals.
Who woulda thunk.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Love me, Love my Doll



There. Really. Are. No. Words.
Okay, really....there are words. I just don't know if I'm allowed to speak them....and I've never been one that's short on words. In July my sister came into town. One day we were down in my scrapbook room just chillin'. This is how the conversation went:
Me: Oh my goodness....I saw the most disturbing show the other night on BBC America....
Sister: (cutting me off) Was it called Love me, Love my Doll??
Me: Nooooo.....not quite. But that's an interesting topic. Let's come back to that. (I then proceeded to tell her about the program that I watched, that quite frankly, had NOTHING to do with dolls of any sort.)
And then after that, we most certainly discussed. There is a lot to talk about when you are discussing a program with a title like "Love me, Love my doll."
I have watched and watched for the program to be rebroadcasted. Well, this past Sunday, good old Sis called all the way from Ohio and told me to tune in. And tune in I did......can you just say scarred for life?
I have never watched something so creepy and horrific in my life. The premise? A documentary (this means "true" people!) about adult men and their (ahem) life like dolls. I am crappin' you not. These men pay roughly $10,000 for each one of these dolls....and one perv had 8 of them. I would like to say to him..... well, I don't think I can say out loud what I would like to say to him. Lewis and I could hardly believe our eyes. It felt cheap. It felt dirty. It felt like watching a horrific train wreck that you could just not turn away from. The fact that men like these exist in this world made me want to vomit.
So, if you're ever scrolling through the channels and come across this program....and if you totally want an eye opening experience into the world of "real" dolls.....and if you want to be haunted for the rest of your life....then maybe, just maybe, you'll watch it.
Or not.
P.S I did want to save it to my DVR so that any of my curious peeps who wanted to pop over and watch it could, but then I realized that my children might tune into it in the wee hours of the morning when I am too lazy to get my butt out of bed....and that would be a nightmare! Not to mention, would open up a whole can of worms that shan't be opened up for a very long time....if you get my drift. So, delete....it's gone. Sorry.

Monday, September 8, 2008

School's In....free time here I come, baby!

So, I am long overdue in writing this post. For my oldest two kids, school has been in session for a few weeks now. Other than the fact that I am a severe slacker in the blogging business lately, I have been waiting until Savy started pre-school so that I could do one post all together. Well, alas, that day has come....and gone. But, better late than never. Lately, my house has been very quiet. With three kids gone to school on {most} days, I am starting to get a glimpse into my future and it looks GLORIOUS (and I'm not gonna lie, slightly terrifying as well.) One kid is so much easier (and quieter..... unless you have a child like Braden) than four, but it is also so lonely. Today I went out and ran errands, just B and I, and I hardly knew what to do with myself. Oh yeah.......now I remember what I did with myself. I totally put Braden in the wrong car seat (Savy's to be precise), didn't strap him in, and started driving down the road to get on the freeway. After glancing back to talk to him a couple of times, my brain suddenly said, "something is not quite right about this." Braden was just sitting there, as cute as can be, as free as the wind.....oh my......and I have four kids????? Sometimes I can't take care of just one. Sometimes I wonder what I'll do with myself when all of my kids are in school. (This is the point where Lewis tells me that online shopping is not a career.) I guess we will just cross that bridge when we come to it. And if you see me out and about with my ONE child in tow, please remind me that shopping is not the only thing I could/should be doing with my free time and that it is the law to buckle your children up! Until then: enjoy some cute pics of the kiddos first day of school....even if they are a little late!

Zachary and Kylie on their first day of school. Zach is in the 4th grade (yowza...am I really that old), and Kylie started the 2nd grade. Aren't they too dang cute.
My sweet Savy showing off her new school bag.
Savy's first day of school was so exciting for her. She looked forward to it all summer long, but the closer it got, the more nervous she got. I was prepping myself not to have a breakdown when I dropped her off ( I am a self proclaimed BABY), and I was totally being strong until I looked down and saw her lower lip trembling. I had to hurry and run out of the teacher's house, get into my car, and cry my ever-lovin' eyes out. I can't believe how old she is....all grown up. SIGH.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stronger

To quote one of my homies, Kanye West, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." (Okay, Okay all you smarties out there. I know that Kanye didn't pen the quote. That happened to be Frederich Nietzsche....Oh, and just so you know, I had to google that. I'm really not a brilliant quotition (I'm not even sure if this is a word. I may have just made it up.) Anyway, I just wanted to express my gangsta side....'Fo Shizzle. But this is not even the point. The point is this......It has been a long and, dare I say, exhausting summer. And to end this glorious season, my husband took a little trip to the operating room to have the screw removed in his foot.....because what's better than getting screwed???? Why, getting un-screwed, of course! So, for all my fellow bloggee's.....
A RECAP.

116 is the number of days that Lewis spend in a hard cast....or walking boot....or walking shoe....or any combination thereof. It is also the number of days that I spent praying to be put out of my misery....and Lewis probably spent praying for the exact same thing.

6 is the number of pillows that Lewis propped his foot up on for the first week after surgery. After sharing my bed with a vast array of pillows.....I'd say it was about 5 too many.

115 is the amount of cherry limeades that I consumed. I had one a day.....every day.....but the first day when I was weeping silently in my room and hoping that it would all be over soon.

60 is the amount of ice creams, or shakes, or some form of frozen, delicious goodness that was consumed. What can I say? I'm a sympathy eater.

10 is the amount of pounds I have gained since this whole D thing started!

14 is the number of times Lewis mowed the lawn in his cast....or boot....or shoe....because he cares so much about our beautiful lawn. I love that he's like that.

0 is the number of times that I mowed the lawn. I don't do lawns. I'm just like that.

6 is the number of times I weeded my yard and hated every stinkin' minute of it. It was then that I found out that I don't do weeding either.

27 is the number of times that I muttered under my breath "go put your own *bleepin'* gym clothes in your gym bag. "

27 is also the number of times that I apologized for being such a bitty.

14 is the number of baths that I helped Lewis with......and quite frankly, giving baths is WAY overrated.

1 is the number of Sunday's my husband missed throughout this whole ordeal. If it had been me, I may have not gone to church for the whole 4 months. This is another thing that makes my husband so great.

80 is the number of times Lewis asked me to rub his foot.....or put lotion on his "dry" foot....or both.

25 is the amount of times that I actually did it.......I'm a horrible wife, I know.

So, It's all said and done. No more cherry limeades.... or ice creams......or lotion on feet....baths.....or pillow propping.....no more casts/boots/awesome walking shoes......an end of an era, if you will.......and one that I gladly hope to not visit for a very, very long time! And just think, we're both not dead.....we're STRONGER!

Stay tuned for pictures of the burning of the boots.....I'm totally serious. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it big. I can't wait!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

LMN

I have a confession.....it started out rather innocently, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's turning into something bigger. The other day I was running on my treadmill and flipping through the channels for something mindless to watch while I ran away the miles, when I came across channel 109. Hmmm....that's funny, I thought to myself, I never remember having the Lifetime Movie Channel. So I tuned in.....and was hooked before I knew it. The miles just flew by, because after all, watching a movie about (an abused wife who leaves, after years of abuse, with her child only to start a new life, remarry, and then have her abusive husband reappear back in her life) can be quite intriguing, in a "train-wreck of a movie" sort-of way. It was quite a mindless way to spend an hour......and five or six miles. So, before I knew it I was DVRing all sorts of movies. Movies with titles like, " Wife, Mother, Murderer" and "Sleeping with the Devil." I then slowly realized that I was becoming like my mother.....not in a negative way, mind you. After all, my mother is a saint.....that being said, she MIGHT just have a slight addiction to the LMN. Nary a Sunday goes by that we don't go over to her house for dinner and during her preparations she is tuned in to one of those fine pieces of movie. (Shhh.....she may have a bigger problem than I do....I LOVE you mom.) And then I recalled the time that Lewis and I got drawn into a Lifetime Original movie, and got hooked from the get go. We decided to record the remainder of it because we were both falling asleep, and the next morning I caught Lewis watching it "just to see how it ended. " Oh LMN....no one is immune to your powers! But the more I write this, and think about it, and continue to watch movies while I run, I am struck by these questions: Do I really want to live in a world where surrogate mothers steal your husband, and your baby, while the wife goes crazy and starts killing everyone? Do I really want to live in a world where your next door neighbors might kidnap your three children and take them out of state because they think that you are an unfit mother? Do I really want to live in a world where your best friend seduces your father and then kills your mother?........I'm just sayin'........

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Feminine Hygeine products???? OH MY.

Let me paint a picture for you. Me and my four lovely kids are out running errands. One of them happens to be to Toys-R-Us. (I know, I know....the very thought of it makes me want to lose my mind too.) BUT, it is a necessary evil. There is a toy that Zach got for his birthday (um....like three weeks ago) that I MUST return. I say must because if it sits on my kitchen counter for one more day, my husband might likely lose his ever lovin' mind. So, I deem today errand day. It is not pleasant, it is not fun, but it has got to be done. I am dragging my kiddos all over the town and, quite frankly, none of us are having the grandest time. They are excited for a trip to the old toy store because places like the bank just aren't doing it for them. I am praying that I will be able to get my four little natives out of that evil store in less than an hour. Things are going pretty smoothly. I exchange the present, pick up a couple of doll strollers and am letting Zach look at the nintendo DS games when I smell it. C'mon Moms, you know what I'm talking about......that unmistakable smell of a child who has gone off to the corner and dropped a load in his pants. I look around for the culprit. AHA! There he is, and wouldn't you know it, the kid just happens to be mine. I send my oldest two out to the car to get the diaper bag. (I know, I am never prepared, but then again, I'm not a boy scout.) They quickly return to the store, but WITHOUT the baby wipes. I have got to do something, and QUICK! Braden is stinking up the store so bad that they just might condemn it. No time for nonsense. I whisk him off to the bathroom with plans to improvise. And here's where the comedy happens......

I drag all four children into the bathroom. (And yes, this includes my NINE year old son. I have heard too many horror stories of children going to the bathroom alone, and I just refuse to have that happen to anyone that I love. Not if I can help it. So I have become THAT mom. The one that takes her pre-pubescent son into the ladies room. OH WELL......better safe than sorry.) Anyway, back to the story. I lay B on the changing table and proceed to wet aprox. 20 paper towels with water so that I can properly clean my child's poopy hind end. By the way, this is not going exactly as planned. Has anyone ever tried to clean a poopy bum with wet paper towels??? I guess there is a reason that baby wipes were invented.....those lovely little things. Several rolls of paper towels later (okay, that may be a mild exaggeration), I am washing the poop off my hands (I never said this story wasn't going to make you dry heave), when my darling Kylie asks this question "Mom, what's a Tampon? (only she pronounces it Tampone, like rhymes with snow cone.) She is staring straight at the dispenser that distributes those "special" feminine hygiene products. I am flustered, I am weary, I am washing human feces off my hands for crying out loud! So, I respond with a little, bitty, teeny, weenie, eensey white lie. "Uh......a tampone is a kind of medicine." YES. Slam dunk. A totally believable story. And don't judge. I don't make it a practice to lie to my children, I just wasn't going to have "that talk" with my kids in a bathroom in Toys-R-freakin'-Us. I thought I was home free. And then, as we are passing the men's bathroom Zach decides to peek his smart little head in to see if the little boys room has that Tampone medicine as well......."But Mom, why doesn't the men's room have a Tampone medicine machine"......

Hey look kids. There's Santa Claus! End of Story.

Monday, July 21, 2008

New Addition

I have lost my summer nanny......and I couldn't be HAPPIER! (I think my new nephew is an even trade off.) Aubree, Dave, you two will be the BEST parents ever! Congratulations on your new arrival. We can't wait to hold him in our arms and will be anxiously awaiting his arrival here in Utah. We love him so much already. Give him a kiss from his Aunt, Uncle, and four new little cousins! See you soon.

Aubree, Dave and baby Will

P.S I may have lost my nanny, but I have gained another "mommy" in my circle. I can't wait to do things with you and your brand new addition. Let's live it up girl!

For further reading, check out Dave and Aubree's blog. Just click on their link.

Thursday, July 17, 2008


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Busy, Busy,Busy = Very Bad Blogger


I know. I know. Lately I have been slacking on my blogging duties. I think I have bloggers block. Either that, or I'm just too lazy to write about anything that we have done. July has been a fun-filled month packed with parties, eating, day trips to get my kiddos out of the house, more eating, more parties, holidays.....etc, etc. I think I should be nominated mother of the year. Either that, or worst mother ever. It changes from day to day. Anyway, A LOT has happened this month. I have created a picture collage of some of the highlights of the month. Think of it as my own little present to all of you. I would not, could not, bore you with the hundreds of pictures that I have taken this month. And after all, the best things do come in small packages.......




Some of the highlights of our month so far:



*The Fourth of July. Lewis and I's favorite holiday. As one friend of mine told another friend, "You will not see the Nuttall's at all on July 4th. It is like their Christmas." Oh, truer words have never been spoken. We rise and shine at 5:00 a.m to go and see the balloons and don't plop our tired, bloated, exhausted booties in bed until 11:30 p.m. The day is filled with eating, swimming, parties, barbeque's, fireworks, cherry limeades, games, and just good clean fun. This year Zach and I rocked it on the three legged race and took first place fair and square! I even had the bruises to prove it. He who will not be named robbed me of my title as "Queen Bubble Blower", and was disqualified. Swimming at Craig and Chaunte's for 5 hours was an awesome way to spend the afternoon. May they always be the hosts for the family party!





*Me and my summer Nanny (okay, it's really just my sister-in-law Aubree. But doesn't Nanny sound so much better?) took a trip up to the Children's Museum to spend the afternoon. We met my other sis-in-law, Emilie (and her darling daughter Claire), and had a great day. Lunch at CPK, an afternoon with four kids completely occupied in a place that they can mess up and you don't have to clean up after them, and a treat at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Really, it doesn't get much better than that.




*Lewis' summer work party at Thanksgiving point. We went to the Dino Museum, saw a 3D movie (Who is loving those glasses BTW??? Lewis thinks they are not too far of a departure from some of the glasses that I normally wear. I think he is up in the night.), went to the Discovery Garden's, the kids climbed a rock wall and had more fun falling off the wall than actually climbing it, ate dinner, watched a firework show that was better than the Stadium of Fire's, and collapsed in our beds after an exhausting day. Thanks to Xactware for planning such a fun day.




*My oldest child turned 9 on the 6th, and 10 days later my youngest turned two! Happy birthday to my two sons. I cannot believe how time flies! And now I refuse to let you two get any older. Does anyone have a magic potion that will stop children from growing up????






And there you have it. My July in a nutshell.....in the nuthouse.....where every day is a party! (OOOH, that should be my new slogan! I love it!)

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Words of Wisdom

video

Yeah......What he said.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Camping......Nuttall Style



















This past weekend we got together with Lewis' side of the family for an old fashioned camp out.....kind of.....You see {most} of us Nuttall's are not what you would call the "camping type." We are content to take our family vacations to places where there is a pool....and room service....and a maid who cleans up after you......and where there is a bounty of deep fried food that is and/or covered in sugar. (You know what I mean, Dave.) However, Lewis' brother Todd had the great idea to do a camp out in Lewis' parents back yard. Hmmm.....let me think about that one for just a second, okay done. Running water: check. Bathrooms: check. Soft grass to pitch a tent on: check. Deep fried fatty, delicious food: check. The list goes on and on. We gathered together for a great night out and had a FABULOUS time! Here are some of the things that I learned while "roughing" it.




1. Sonic has nothing on homemade cherry limeades. In fact, Sonic can take a long walk off a short pier.....we don't need you anymore to create deliciously refreshing drinks. In fact, I think that Lewis makes them better. So there.



2. To he who will not be named: Seriously, do you have such a big problem crapping in your pants that you find it necessary to bring not 1, not 2, but 3 extra pairs of underwear Just in case. Did you forget that we were camping in your parents back yard.....with a washing machine readily accessible or a dad who could lend you a pair, if it came down to that???? I know you've been know to shart from time to time, but really.....not necessary!



3. You can lead a horse to water......but not if you are wearing flip flops....or slippers....or no shoes at all....and pajama bottoms.....which is just plain appalling to the person who is giving you horseback rides in the first place. I guess the Nuttall's are not very well versed in "horse etiquette." OH WELL.



4. You can lead Dee to water......but not if it's around horses....Apparently he gets "S'MALLERGIES" from time to time. OH WELL. (And for all you readers out there, S'MALLERGIES is too a word. Let me use it in a sentence for you: Dee would love to go and take his son's for a horseback ride but he gets S'MALLERGIES.")



5. Watching a movie under the stars, cuddled up in blankets, is quite possibly one of the greatest things ever. Especially when your 3 year old falls asleep aprox. 2 minutes into the movie so that you don't have to listen to her never ending questions, and stay up with her all night long, because the movie would have quite possibly scared the sharts right out of her. (Hey, maybe she could have borrowed a pair of (he who must not be named) undies.....:)



6. It is so much more fun to consume 15,000 calories when everyone else is doing it too. (Seriously guys, could the food have been any better???!!!)



7. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning is only worth it when I'm with my family.



8. Next time let's quit our jobs and camp for weeks on end.....I loved it when Savy asked: "Mom, how many weeks are we staying?" I like the way this girl thinks........



9. You can add excitement to a boring, old game of BOCCE ball by chucking your ball straight at your in-laws brand new fountain, and almost wetting your pants simultaneously because you can actually see it crashing through it. (Which didn't happen, by the way......the pants wetting or the crashing into the fountain...but OH, it was a very close call on both accounts.)



10. Let's make this a yearly thing, okay? Grandpa, Nana, we give you one year to recuperate, because next year, ready or not, here we come.....