Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Feminine Hygeine products???? OH MY.

Let me paint a picture for you. Me and my four lovely kids are out running errands. One of them happens to be to Toys-R-Us. (I know, I know....the very thought of it makes me want to lose my mind too.) BUT, it is a necessary evil. There is a toy that Zach got for his birthday ( three weeks ago) that I MUST return. I say must because if it sits on my kitchen counter for one more day, my husband might likely lose his ever lovin' mind. So, I deem today errand day. It is not pleasant, it is not fun, but it has got to be done. I am dragging my kiddos all over the town and, quite frankly, none of us are having the grandest time. They are excited for a trip to the old toy store because places like the bank just aren't doing it for them. I am praying that I will be able to get my four little natives out of that evil store in less than an hour. Things are going pretty smoothly. I exchange the present, pick up a couple of doll strollers and am letting Zach look at the nintendo DS games when I smell it. C'mon Moms, you know what I'm talking about......that unmistakable smell of a child who has gone off to the corner and dropped a load in his pants. I look around for the culprit. AHA! There he is, and wouldn't you know it, the kid just happens to be mine. I send my oldest two out to the car to get the diaper bag. (I know, I am never prepared, but then again, I'm not a boy scout.) They quickly return to the store, but WITHOUT the baby wipes. I have got to do something, and QUICK! Braden is stinking up the store so bad that they just might condemn it. No time for nonsense. I whisk him off to the bathroom with plans to improvise. And here's where the comedy happens......

I drag all four children into the bathroom. (And yes, this includes my NINE year old son. I have heard too many horror stories of children going to the bathroom alone, and I just refuse to have that happen to anyone that I love. Not if I can help it. So I have become THAT mom. The one that takes her pre-pubescent son into the ladies room. OH WELL......better safe than sorry.) Anyway, back to the story. I lay B on the changing table and proceed to wet aprox. 20 paper towels with water so that I can properly clean my child's poopy hind end. By the way, this is not going exactly as planned. Has anyone ever tried to clean a poopy bum with wet paper towels??? I guess there is a reason that baby wipes were invented.....those lovely little things. Several rolls of paper towels later (okay, that may be a mild exaggeration), I am washing the poop off my hands (I never said this story wasn't going to make you dry heave), when my darling Kylie asks this question "Mom, what's a Tampon? (only she pronounces it Tampone, like rhymes with snow cone.) She is staring straight at the dispenser that distributes those "special" feminine hygiene products. I am flustered, I am weary, I am washing human feces off my hands for crying out loud! So, I respond with a little, bitty, teeny, weenie, eensey white lie. "Uh......a tampone is a kind of medicine." YES. Slam dunk. A totally believable story. And don't judge. I don't make it a practice to lie to my children, I just wasn't going to have "that talk" with my kids in a bathroom in Toys-R-freakin'-Us. I thought I was home free. And then, as we are passing the men's bathroom Zach decides to peek his smart little head in to see if the little boys room has that Tampone medicine as well......."But Mom, why doesn't the men's room have a Tampone medicine machine"......

Hey look kids. There's Santa Claus! End of Story.

Monday, July 21, 2008

New Addition

I have lost my summer nanny......and I couldn't be HAPPIER! (I think my new nephew is an even trade off.) Aubree, Dave, you two will be the BEST parents ever! Congratulations on your new arrival. We can't wait to hold him in our arms and will be anxiously awaiting his arrival here in Utah. We love him so much already. Give him a kiss from his Aunt, Uncle, and four new little cousins! See you soon.

Aubree, Dave and baby Will

P.S I may have lost my nanny, but I have gained another "mommy" in my circle. I can't wait to do things with you and your brand new addition. Let's live it up girl!

For further reading, check out Dave and Aubree's blog. Just click on their link.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Busy, Busy,Busy = Very Bad Blogger

I know. I know. Lately I have been slacking on my blogging duties. I think I have bloggers block. Either that, or I'm just too lazy to write about anything that we have done. July has been a fun-filled month packed with parties, eating, day trips to get my kiddos out of the house, more eating, more parties, holidays.....etc, etc. I think I should be nominated mother of the year. Either that, or worst mother ever. It changes from day to day. Anyway, A LOT has happened this month. I have created a picture collage of some of the highlights of the month. Think of it as my own little present to all of you. I would not, could not, bore you with the hundreds of pictures that I have taken this month. And after all, the best things do come in small packages.......

Some of the highlights of our month so far:

*The Fourth of July. Lewis and I's favorite holiday. As one friend of mine told another friend, "You will not see the Nuttall's at all on July 4th. It is like their Christmas." Oh, truer words have never been spoken. We rise and shine at 5:00 a.m to go and see the balloons and don't plop our tired, bloated, exhausted booties in bed until 11:30 p.m. The day is filled with eating, swimming, parties, barbeque's, fireworks, cherry limeades, games, and just good clean fun. This year Zach and I rocked it on the three legged race and took first place fair and square! I even had the bruises to prove it. He who will not be named robbed me of my title as "Queen Bubble Blower", and was disqualified. Swimming at Craig and Chaunte's for 5 hours was an awesome way to spend the afternoon. May they always be the hosts for the family party!

*Me and my summer Nanny (okay, it's really just my sister-in-law Aubree. But doesn't Nanny sound so much better?) took a trip up to the Children's Museum to spend the afternoon. We met my other sis-in-law, Emilie (and her darling daughter Claire), and had a great day. Lunch at CPK, an afternoon with four kids completely occupied in a place that they can mess up and you don't have to clean up after them, and a treat at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Really, it doesn't get much better than that.

*Lewis' summer work party at Thanksgiving point. We went to the Dino Museum, saw a 3D movie (Who is loving those glasses BTW??? Lewis thinks they are not too far of a departure from some of the glasses that I normally wear. I think he is up in the night.), went to the Discovery Garden's, the kids climbed a rock wall and had more fun falling off the wall than actually climbing it, ate dinner, watched a firework show that was better than the Stadium of Fire's, and collapsed in our beds after an exhausting day. Thanks to Xactware for planning such a fun day.

*My oldest child turned 9 on the 6th, and 10 days later my youngest turned two! Happy birthday to my two sons. I cannot believe how time flies! And now I refuse to let you two get any older. Does anyone have a magic potion that will stop children from growing up????

And there you have it. My July in a the nuthouse.....where every day is a party! (OOOH, that should be my new slogan! I love it!)

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Words of Wisdom

Yeah......What he said.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Camping......Nuttall Style

This past weekend we got together with Lewis' side of the family for an old fashioned camp out.....kind of.....You see {most} of us Nuttall's are not what you would call the "camping type." We are content to take our family vacations to places where there is a pool....and room service....and a maid who cleans up after you......and where there is a bounty of deep fried food that is and/or covered in sugar. (You know what I mean, Dave.) However, Lewis' brother Todd had the great idea to do a camp out in Lewis' parents back yard. Hmmm.....let me think about that one for just a second, okay done. Running water: check. Bathrooms: check. Soft grass to pitch a tent on: check. Deep fried fatty, delicious food: check. The list goes on and on. We gathered together for a great night out and had a FABULOUS time! Here are some of the things that I learned while "roughing" it.

1. Sonic has nothing on homemade cherry limeades. In fact, Sonic can take a long walk off a short pier.....we don't need you anymore to create deliciously refreshing drinks. In fact, I think that Lewis makes them better. So there.

2. To he who will not be named: Seriously, do you have such a big problem crapping in your pants that you find it necessary to bring not 1, not 2, but 3 extra pairs of underwear Just in case. Did you forget that we were camping in your parents back yard.....with a washing machine readily accessible or a dad who could lend you a pair, if it came down to that???? I know you've been know to shart from time to time, but really.....not necessary!

3. You can lead a horse to water......but not if you are wearing flip flops....or slippers....or no shoes at all....and pajama bottoms.....which is just plain appalling to the person who is giving you horseback rides in the first place. I guess the Nuttall's are not very well versed in "horse etiquette." OH WELL.

4. You can lead Dee to water......but not if it's around horses....Apparently he gets "S'MALLERGIES" from time to time. OH WELL. (And for all you readers out there, S'MALLERGIES is too a word. Let me use it in a sentence for you: Dee would love to go and take his son's for a horseback ride but he gets S'MALLERGIES.")

5. Watching a movie under the stars, cuddled up in blankets, is quite possibly one of the greatest things ever. Especially when your 3 year old falls asleep aprox. 2 minutes into the movie so that you don't have to listen to her never ending questions, and stay up with her all night long, because the movie would have quite possibly scared the sharts right out of her. (Hey, maybe she could have borrowed a pair of (he who must not be named) undies.....:)

6. It is so much more fun to consume 15,000 calories when everyone else is doing it too. (Seriously guys, could the food have been any better???!!!)

7. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning is only worth it when I'm with my family.

8. Next time let's quit our jobs and camp for weeks on end.....I loved it when Savy asked: "Mom, how many weeks are we staying?" I like the way this girl thinks........

9. You can add excitement to a boring, old game of BOCCE ball by chucking your ball straight at your in-laws brand new fountain, and almost wetting your pants simultaneously because you can actually see it crashing through it. (Which didn't happen, by the way......the pants wetting or the crashing into the fountain...but OH, it was a very close call on both accounts.)

10. Let's make this a yearly thing, okay? Grandpa, Nana, we give you one year to recuperate, because next year, ready or not, here we come.....