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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Horror Story.........

Just in time for Halloween!

If this doesn't give you nightmares......then you must be a stronger man than I. (And by man, I really mean WoMan.) This is not for the weak of heart. Look at your own risk......yada yada yada.....and all other sorts of ominous warnings. Scroll down to see something truly terrifying....














That's right, Baby! Holy-Freakin'-Crappola! This is what I found lurking behind my BBQ when I pulled it out. All I wanted to do was grill up some nice steaks for dinner, but after viewing this monstrosity I had to run into the house to change my pants. Does this not creep the junk out of anyone but me??? At first, I thought I had come across some rare breed of "crab-like" arachnid. BUT, upon closer inspection (And by closer I mean aprox. 12 feet away from the actual critter, but using the zoom on my camera) I discovered that what I actually had come across was a soon-to-be "Mommy" spider. That's right folks....this ones ready to pop! So, instead of inviting her into my abode, having her put her feet up to reduce swelling, and rubbing lotion all over her pregnant abdomen, ( Trust me. Been there. Done that. Pregger four times, thank you very much) I ran for the nearest bottle of Raid and had Lewis squirt the ever-lovin' crap out of that horrible little creature. I don't care if we just exterminated an entire population of spiders and committed spidercide. Can you imagine? CAN YOU IMAGINE? If that spider had delivered her spiderettes all over my back deck! Yeah.....ponder on that for awhile.

Sweet dreams.



10 comments:

Justin and Kamie said...

EWWWWW and that my friend is why I dont live in Satins hollow everything gets pregnant in there and has multiples, hence my 4 darling lil ones j/k That would give anyone nightmares, SLEEP TIGHT nighty night.....

Kristi said...

That's frikin' nasty girl!!! I don't blame you for spraying the tar out of it! My kids are expert spider stompers and I couldn't be more proud!

Aubree said...

Holy crap... That is disgusting. We all know how I feel about spiders. I can't believe you took a picture. Gross.

Jimi said...

Oh my gosh! That is so yucky!!!! I'm glad for you that Lewis was home, I don't know what I would do if I had to deal with that on my own...AAAH!!

Jenny said...

Flo, I think I just shat my pants. What the ever-lovin' freak is that! I will have nightmares tonight...thank you very much. WTF. I have chills all over right now and feel like I have tiny spiderlings crawling all over me! I am too freaked out to go in my basement to start laundry! Honestly, what purpose do spiders have on this earth...to torment those of us who are deathly afraid of them, that's what I say! I don't know if I can ever come and stay at your house again...let alone eat from that BBQ...

Kaci said...

Holy freakin shiz-ah crap hole! That about sums up how I'm feeling right now. Spiders and myself do not mix...I am so proud of you for even staying conscious! Let alone taking a pic! In fact, you've inspired me. I think I am going to do my own spider story on a post and use your blog as part of my story. Is that OK, or do I need written consent?

Also I think you probably needed the John Goodman exterminator from "Arachnophobia" to kill that little B of a spider. Nasty-ah.

So sorry about the language of this comment. But there are 3 things that will make me wanna swear...spiders happen to be one of 'em!

Jennifer said...

Seriously?? I am not even afraid of spiders and that creeps me out! That was one of the ugliest spiders I have ever seen! You are a brave WoMan! R.I.P. nasty spider!

Lindsay said...

HOLY FREAKIN' CRAPOLA!!!! I can't even look at that picture. I have the heeby jeeby's now and feel like there are spiders on me. SICK! Completely sick! I'm so glad that to hear that you doused the prego creature to death with raid.

Cheeky Kitchen said...

Okay. Total flashback to the story John so lovingly tells about how two of his sisters jumped out of the car. Yes. JUMPED OUT OF THE CAR. at the very mention of a spider.

"Closer Inspection" has to be one of the finest Florrie lines...um...EVER.

Goodnight, Charlotte. Wilbur will be weeping silently in the corner of the pigpen for his friend tonight.

Ms. Mort said...

Here's an addition...Once I stomped a very prego spider, not quite as ugly as your, but definitely big and scary (white spiders are just the worst!) and the tiny, little spiderini scattered and started running, no joke! It happened about a month ago and I have witnesses. Too disgusting!