Spring Cleaning

I just spent the last hour in my own private "he**." I don't know what I was thinking. Two children are taking naps, the other two occupying themselves quite nicely, and I'm scuttering around picking up the house. It's then that I notice the one thing I have been trying not to notice for, I don't know let's say, two years now. My blinds are a disgrace! They are past the point of a casual dusting, and now need to be cleaned and scoured slat by slat, one at a time. Well, I am up for the challenge. I can do this, right? I load up my trusty bucket with pine-sol and a rag and go to town. Only then does it become blatantly obvious that I have quite the project on my hands.


Wow. This is taking so long. Who knew these blinds were white? When was the last time I really washed these down? Oh yeah, that's right...before Braden was born. Yowza! Braden will be two next month. OOps. Hey, listen, I am a Mother of four! I just don't have time to sit around all day washing blinds. I am busy. I have many things to do. I hate washing blinds. This sucks.

Then, as I am standing over my kitchen sink on a stool, I am praying that I fall off and die.....okay, just fall off and break my leg, because hey, that puts an end to blind washing doesn't it? But NO, no such luck. So I continue on. I am mentally calculating how long it will take me to wash all the blinds in my house? Do I have 7 years of free time??? Why won't one of these dang kids wake up? How long do I have to keep up this manual labor? And then.......SALVATION! I glance down and notice that there is......A HOLE IN MY BUCKET! (No....I do not make this stuff up....well not *Most* of it anyway.) And that's my ticket out of there. Can't wash the blinds if I don't have a bucket. Ahhhh, crisis averted. Now if I can just keep my husband from reading this post...... He'll make me finish what I started....Oh, the horror!

School's Out

No more homework, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks! Summer is here baby, and we couldn't be more excited. Things we will do this summer: play, eat otter pops (boxes and boxes of otter pops), swim, ride bikes, go to the park, lay in the grass, look at the stars, have bbq's (dozens of them), run through the sprinklers, roast marshmallows, go hiking (whoops, never mind....strike that. Unless we don't invite Sir Gimps-a-lot. :), swing, jump on the tramp, color pictures, do crafts, visit the zoo, visit the Children's Museum, go camping, go to St. George, sleep in late, read LOTS of books, go to bed late, and just plain RELAX! (Gee, I sound like the best mom in the world, don't I?)

Kylie and Zachary on the LAST day of school

Just one last thing to mention. Summer.....please be kind on this dear girl. We had a rough year last year, what, with a near drowning, scooter Olympics that led to about 50 stitches, and OH, there was that incident in Wal-Mart involving six paramedics and a split open head. Take it easy on this little one. She's a mover and a shaker, I know, I know, but watch out for her. My poor sanity cannot take anymore accidents. Thank you for your time.
Happy Summer to all!!!

Ghosty

I think I have a ghost. Today, while I was taking out the garbage it turned on my garbage disposal. And when I came back in the house it was just going for no reason. PLUS, my favorite tee shirt is missing. AND, here's the clincher.....THREE hostess cupcakes are missing from my pantry. And I didn't eat them....I'm almost positive that it was not me.....oh please let it not have been me.....could I have eaten three cupcakes in one day???? Nah, it had to have been that darn ghost!

Memorial Day Weekend

We just got back from our super fun, yet not really exciting, but still quite relaxing, even if the weather was pretty crappy in St. George, weekend vacation. For memorial day this year we decided to "get the heck out of dodge" so to speak and headed for the warm weather in St. George. There was just one problem: there was no warm weather in St. George. BUT, and that's a big BUT (ha ha, I crack myself up) we still managed to have a party anyway. That's just how we roll. So, I thought it might be fun to list a couple of highlights of this trip.

Highlight #1:

Do you see these two handsome guys? Do either of them look mentally insane? Not really, but looks can be deceiving.( Just kidding. I love you two.) I took this picture right after they had finished riding their bikes from SLC to St. George. (That's aprox. 350 miles for those of you who don't know.) THIS might have been the real reason we headed down South. We got to be the cheering section for these two as they finished their ride. It was amazing to be there and experience that with them. You guys are rock stars! Anyone who is crazy enough to ride their bikes that far gets a big shout out in my book. Good work Todd and Richard: We're so proud of you!

Highlight #2

SWIMMING! We love it, the kids love it, it keeps them entertained for hours at a time so that I can sit on my butt and do nothing. (Not really, as a spent the good majority of my time frantically counting my kids heads to make sure none of them was drowning.) Still, good times, good times. The kids were like little fish, in and out of the pool and hot tub all day long. Plus, we don't have to worry about getting Cryptosporidium from the pool because apparently the big pile of crap that was beside the pool was just duck poop. PhEW. Close call.

Kylie and Savy with their friend Keslee

My boys just chillin like villains in the hot tub

This is the only D picture of me that we got the whole weekend and Lewis didn't even tell me he was taking it! I put it on here because I want you to see how serious my face is. I am applying sunscreen to Kylie's face, because hey, safety first!

Highlight #3

EATING. We "the Nuttalls" know how to pack it away. I am not putting a picture of this on the blog for one reason. Have you ever seen that show on BBC America that's called "You are what you eat?" Well, for those of you who haven't seen the show, there's this part on it where they lay out all the food on a table that the person has consumed for the whole week. It is truly DISGUSTING! So, trust me, you do not want to see what I ate. BUT, if I had to paint a picture of it, it would look like this: Ice cream, peanut m and ms, tacos, chips, Samurai 21, cherry limeades, ice cream, did I say peanut m and ms, licorice, fruit snacks, pizza....and so forth and so forth. You get the idea right? I must have consumed 20 million calories in peanut m and ms alone. And let's not even talk about the night that we introduced Ben and Jerry to the condo. (Hello Ben and Jerry, meet EVERYONE. Karmel Sutra anyone??!) It got a little freaky to say the least. It was, oh so fun, and now I'm going to be paying the price. Oh well, C'est la vie.

Just one last thing to mention on this epic post. There was actually one (can you believe it?) low light of the trip. Is that even a word? What's the opposite of highlight?? Non-highlight? Oh, who cares. Moving on. Early Sunday morning, and I mean 1:30 in the am early, Savy fell off the bed. I knew that something was quite right, and after spending nearly 2 1/2 hrs at the Instacare on Sunday afternoon, we discovered that she had broken her clavicle. Not fun. Of course, this is kind of normal for something like this to happen to this girl, but still. Good thing it wasn't her arm and in a couple weeks she will be like new.

So there you have it. For all its worth we had a great time. Thanks Nana and Grandpa for letting us stay in your condo. Let's do it again next month K?

War of the Davids

So tonight is the much anticipated finale to American Idol. This is it: The whole enchilada, finito, all the money, the end. I just have a few things to say about it. (And yes, I know that it is sort of pathetic that I care this much about reality T.V. But truly....I really don't care THAT much....I promise....I don't.) Now Utah's "very own" David Archuleta ( I say this in quotations because that is what every news channel in Utah is calling him) is up against David Cook. Since every Utahn, or Mormon, or Utah Mormon, or any combination thereof, is voting for David Archuleta, I just have two things to say:

1. Yes, I do still live in Utah

2. Yes, I do still believe the Church is true.

That being said: GO DAVID COOK!

Ketchup

This morning I made the most amateur of all mothering mistakes. A big no-no in the world of toddlers and picky eaters alike. I let Savannah help me prepare dinner. See, for dinner tonight we are going to grill delicious shish kabobs, and therefore, the meat needs to marinate in the fridge all day so it will be deliciously scrumptious for tonight. So, I start to do my thing in the kitchen, when my adorable three year old all full of curiosity and such, asks if she can help me. I readily agree. I mean, don't all experts agree that it is good to cook with your children?? (I swear, I thought I heard that somewhere and don't ask me to quote who said it, I just know it to be true. or not.) Anyway moving right along, here is how the conversation went.

Me: Okay Savy, first we put in the soy sauce. Let's look on the recipe and see how much we need.

Savy: Ewww. That looks gross. Why are you putting that in there. I don't like that stuff.

Me: We are putting it in there because that's what the recipe tells us to do.You won't even taste it when we're done. I promise. Okay, next ingredient, brown sugar.

Savy: Are you sure you don't need this white sugar right here? This stuff is pretty, let's put this in instead.

Me: No Savy, the recipe calls for BROWN sugar, not POWDERED sugar. (Jeesh, mumbling and grumbling under my breath. Who invited this child to cook with me anyway?!)

And so it went with the next ingredients, vinegar (smells too yucky), garlic (disgusting) and lemon lime soda (why are you putting Sprite all over our meat???)

Me: Honey, this is really good. Just trust mom. You will love it. It will be delicious. You love steak on the BBQ, right? Well, this is just like that.

Savy: Can I eat it with sauce?

Me: Sure honey, we have steak sauce. That would be yummy.

Savy: No mom, I want to dip it in lots of ketchup!

Dear Ketchup,
You are a savior in our house. Many a meal could not have been consumed without your flavor masking powers. May you forever reign strong in our household and continue to use your powers of persuasion to get picky three year olds to EAT THEIR DINNERS! Thank you for your time.

Love, Mom

I Spy

I Spy with my little eye WEEDS in the royal flower beds. GASP.....how scandalous! Someone better tell the royal gardener to get his butt, er, her butt in gear. The king does not take kindly to weeds. I guess I better go and change into my work clothes.......

P.S If anyone has the name of a good gardener will they give it to me ASAP. It seems like just yesterday I weeded these durn flower beds. I am no good at this stuff.

Tennis Lessons

Just in case you pass me in the street and say to yourself, "Oh my, her right arm is looking exceedingly buff. I wonder what she is doing?" Just know that I have started taking TENNIS LESSONS. I am taking them with my sister-in-law, Aubree, and we are going to kick some butt. You see, I've discovered that you are never too old to learn a new hobby. After all, 30 is the new 20! Wish me luck!

Reverse Psychology

Lately I have been trying my hand at a little reverse psychology on the chillins'. The older two just look at me like I am crazy, and Braden is too young to understand, but Savy is soaking it up like a sponge.

Savy, I say, whatever you do, DO NOT go and pick up your room. I mean it! Don't you dare do it!.....And off she is like a flash.

Savy, please, pretty please, DO NOT lay here on the couch and have a nap. Mommy wants you to stay up all day, follow her around the house while she is trying to clean, and ask incessant questions. The next thing I know she is crashed out on the couch with Dora blaring in the background.

And finally, Savy, please beat the living crap out of your brother. Push him, hit him, take toys away from him.....treat him like dirt. Whatever you do, don't you be kind to him..... Oh, I don't think this is working like I thought it would.......

Oh Well....I guess two out of three ain't bad!

Redemption

For Mother's Day this year I asked for this: But what I actually got was this: (In black, of course.)
I think it was to make up for the year that I got this:

(This is a nice, hot cup of jack squat (just in case you didn't know.)

THANKS baby. You just totally redeemed yourself!

a prayer

So says Savy in her prayer the other night: "Please bless dad as he lays in bed all day.....and all night.....watching sports.....and drinking cherry limeades......and eating ice cream......while mom bathes all the kids and puts them to bed herself." Amen

***Disclaimer: This post may or may not be an exact quote. Poetic license may/may not have been taken by the author.

P.S Love you Lewis!!:)

Can you say Bamboozled???!!

So today I pick Kylie up from school and she tells me that Trace (the cute little blond boy that she has a crush on) just got his hair buzzed. And, at lunch time she gave Trace her fruit snacks, for (can you believe this??) the opportunity to rub his head for the rest of the day! HELLO! I think you got taken "behind the tool shed "my darling daughter. Mommy's sorry. I guess there are still some things I need to teach you.

Confessions of a wannabe runner

last saturday, beautiful day. gimpy-in-bed-all-day husband who will watch the kids. time for some running. i strap on my brand new running shoes and head out the door. six miles. piece of cake. i can do this. in my sleep. or not. i start running. maybe i am too used to the treadmill. where is my csi. or survivor. or dexter. or anything. keep running. focus on the music. this isn't so bad. nice weather. wind in my hair. oh my gosh it's hot. i think i wore too many clothes. take off long sleeved shirt and throw in bushes. mental note, come back and pick this up later. cannot forget. i love that shirt. must keep running. cannot stop and walk when i have not even been running a mile. only losers do that. or me. can not breathe. this kinda sucks. legs hurt. knees hurt. why do i do this to myself....oooh jack johnson. i love him. he's hot. can't wait to see him in august. i can run to this. get in the groove. why is it that every guy that passes has to check out my...(really) great running skills. i know their nice. (jeesh.what did you think i was going to say?)pick up the pace. Fergie, i love ya sister but i'm gonna have to skip ya. sorry. big girls do cry. must find good song to run to. okay.here we go. a little Aerosmith..which reminds me. Aerosmith guitar hero. can't wait. love me some guitar hero. oh shiz. a hill. i can do this. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can die now. have not run this route since marathon training. those were the good old days. and nights. and mornings. at 4:00 am. hey, i think i peed in that person's yard. and that one too. yep. i'm almost sure i did. halfway there and in the groove. got a good pace going. thinking how lucky i am to be able to do this. thinking about guy in wheelchair at mile 7 of marathon watching all the runners. thinking of mile 7 at the marathon. holy crapola. did i really do that??!! eye of the tiger. must run faster. must refrain from punching in the air as i run. think rocky balboa. think strong. think thrown out shoulder. downhill. this is nice. kick up the pace. oh crap. laughing my butt off. thinking of one early morning run with kamie. thought we were going to be attacked by some man standing in the middle of the road. turns out it was a construction barrel. hey, there could be men that are four feet tall. and orange. and their names are oompa-loompas. in the home stretch. what's this? a parade for me? oh crap. forgot about opening day of baseball. please don't let this be like a high school reunion. please don't let me see anyone i know. suck in gut. run faster. think 5 min mile. c'mon ac-dc. carry me through. almost there. pick up discarded shirt from earlier. cross highway. only 3 houses away. 2. 1. flop on grass. screw the stretching. i am finished! that wasn't so bad. it almost feels as good as this:


almost.but then again.not quite.

Concern

Should I be concerned that my extremely precious, lovable 22 month old has a bizarre fascination with knives and scissors?

You would never be able to tell by this picture, but if there is so much as a sharp instrument of any kind around (Scissors, knives, pronged forks, ice-picks, machetes, you name it...) he is drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He loves to watch me load the dishwasher and point out all the sharp knives to me while telling me that they are "sharp" and will "cut.' I was just wondering if he was destined to become, oh, let's say a sword maker, or if he is headed down that other path, that one that we won't mention ( cough- JeffreyDahmer)! Mom loves you B.

**On a side note, I am loving this picture that my THREE year old took....on my cell phone nonetheless! Yeah, she is somewhat of a child prodigy and will probably one day be as famous as_____________(insert the name of some famous photographer here.) Thanks Savy!

Fantasy Fulfilled

One gimpy husband + One sponge bath + One nurses costume = 3 Times the Fun!

(Oh, and just kidding about the nurses costume. I just had to add that. Sorry Lew! You can't help it if you're a gimp! I love you anyway.)

Ms. Grumps

Okay, I know it's a miracle. Two blog posts in one day. To celebrate my triumphant return to the blogging world I have one more quick story for you. This morning this girl:

Who is normally all smiles, woke up in the grumpiest of grumpy moods. There was just no reasoning with her and all my motivational talks about attitude and how it affects the rest of your day just didn't seem to be cutting it. So, I opted for the easy out. I told her this joke, (which normally I don't make it a habit of telling my children jokes centered around potty humor, exception: tigger in the toilet,) but I was desperate. Was I wrong? You be the judge.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (Get it? If you don't, start at the beginning and read again. Still don't get it? Well, then there's no hope for you at all!)

Guess what I was rewarded with? A hearty giggle and smiles all the way to the bus. I'd say Mission accomplished!

Oh, and as a side note, when I told this joke to Lewis he laughed for about five minutes. What is it about potty humor??!!!

Lesson Learned

Well, last night I was trying to be a good mom. Which sometimes, in my book, means buying my kids random treats. (It's called bribery, look into it!) So, while at the grocery store, I picked up these little treats for a FHE surprise. (Truth be told, Savy picked the treats and I readily concurred. I remember loving these things as a child!) This is what she picked:




You remember this stuff, right? Three assorted flavors of "dip" (read: pure sugar in colored form) and two white sticks with which to lick and dip. Sounds easy, sounds fun right? WRONG. I left my kids in pure excitement. They jumped up and down when they saw the treat, proclaiming I was the best mother in the world! (These were Kylie's words not mine. Jeesh. Who do you think I am?) I walked away for five minutes....FIVE MINUTES.....to put the clothes away and what I came back to was a virtual bloodbath of fun dip mess! They had the colored dip everywhere! On their hands, on their faces, all over the counters, all over the floor (Newly mopped mind you. Oh the irony.) It was like a little lik-m-aid elf had walked into my kitchen and sneezed it's little colored sugar brains out all over the place. Savy had run out of the white sticks, meaning she ate them both, and was using her hands to shovel the "dip" right into her lovely face. Her hands and face were covered in the stuff, which in case you were wondering (I know you were) does not wash off. I sent her to bed looking like Elfaba (read: the Wicked Witch of the West.) She thought it was kinda neat.) So, to all your moms out there who desire to bribe your children's love with treats and such, I think there are better, less messy, ways to do so. Lesson Learned.