Today I had a very "revealing" conversation with my two year old son. Here's how it went. I had just stepped out of the shower and he was sitting on the bathroom counter brushing his teeth with my toothbrush. (Oh the lovely things we moms do for a moments peace.) Now, before you judge, Yes, I do take a shower with my son in the room. He's TWO for hecks sake, and besides, if I didn't have my watchful eye on him every minute of the day he would be outside playing in the road without any socks and shoes on, nary a jacket in sight, in this wonderful March weather. (Which, by the by, is exactly what he was doing earlier this morning while I was lying in my bed watching "The Bachelor" forgetting about the fact that if I don't have my watchful eye on him every minute of the day then he pulls stunts like this. Phew. That was a lot to get off my chest.)
But I digress....back to the whole point of this shenanigan......
Here's how out little chat went:
Me: (Toweling off in front of him as I have done every morning for his whole entire life.)
Braden: Mom, you have a funny wee wee.
Me: Oh, (slightly embarrassed by the two year olds observations.....it's not that funny, is it?) B...you're so silly. (Change subject fast....I do not like where this is headed.)
Braden: Mom, what are those called? (Pointing at my chest and square at "the goods.")
Me: (Being coy) I don't know Beepers, what are they called?
Braden: Armpits! (Thinking for a minute.....and this is what I'm positive crosses his mind.... Hmm...I see Dad put on his deodorant every morning underneath his armpits, and these things look suspiciously different. These cannot be armpits.) Nooooo Mom, not armpits. What are they called?
Me: (Oh boy, which word should I use? As a whole slew of them cross of mind, and I will save you the many options I ran through, before I finally decided....) It's called my chest B. My chest. Now get outside and play in the road!
And this is why I can never shower again. (I sure hope my husband likes his women stinky....and er...... "ungroomed." YIKES.) Such a sad tale....but true. I'm afraid this ones going to give me a run for my money. But he sure is cute, ain't he?
But I digress....back to the whole point of this shenanigan......
Here's how out little chat went:
Me: (Toweling off in front of him as I have done every morning for his whole entire life.)
Braden: Mom, you have a funny wee wee.
Me: Oh, (slightly embarrassed by the two year olds observations.....it's not that funny, is it?) B...you're so silly. (Change subject fast....I do not like where this is headed.)
Braden: Mom, what are those called? (Pointing at my chest and square at "the goods.")
Me: (Being coy) I don't know Beepers, what are they called?
Braden: Armpits! (Thinking for a minute.....and this is what I'm positive crosses his mind.... Hmm...I see Dad put on his deodorant every morning underneath his armpits, and these things look suspiciously different. These cannot be armpits.) Nooooo Mom, not armpits. What are they called?
Me: (Oh boy, which word should I use? As a whole slew of them cross of mind, and I will save you the many options I ran through, before I finally decided....) It's called my chest B. My chest. Now get outside and play in the road!
And this is why I can never shower again. (I sure hope my husband likes his women stinky....and er...... "ungroomed." YIKES.) Such a sad tale....but true. I'm afraid this ones going to give me a run for my money. But he sure is cute, ain't he?
13 comments:
the inosense of a two year old boy. Harper called mine a "monster." Yes we have to be creative now during shower time. I can't leave him roaming free either. B is so cute!
He really is cute! And I have had a conversation (or two) like that with my kids as well, so you're not alone!! Samantha used to love to shower with Andy when she was really little.....then it got a little creepy with the STARES!
I'm so lovin this. You crack me up! I would have let my child run in the road while watching the Bachelor. I was totally engrossed. And then overjoyed. And then disgusted. And then I think I threw up a little in my mouth. And now I have vowed to never get suckered into the show again. Ever.
Glad your back Flo!!
Flo...you best be careful with that one 'cause he is too funny! Wanna know my favorite part? That he called your Va-jay-jay a wee wee...LOL hilarious! And lets hope he never sees aunt Jenny's "armpits" because it would likely confuse him to no end....
Yee-haw!!! You HAVE returned!
I've had that conversation with my boys. Once in Arby's, Ashley was lifting up her shirt to reveal her darling belly-button when Josh said at full voice, in an eating establishment entirely full of "worker-dudes" at lunch, that Ashley was showing her penis. Choking, I whisper-screamed (have you ever done that?) "First of all we don't say that in public and second of all Ashley doesn't have a penis!" Big mistake on my part...Josh responded..."What!?! Ashley doesn't have a penis! Well Dad has a penis, a big one!" That particular word seemed to echo through the restaurant. It went on until I hauled his _ss out of the restaurant never to return!
Dude, the things kids do and say.
Get this...Brooklyn(3) draw circle w/line in the midle and then said:"Mom, this looks like my butt." Then I saw her putting her little hand down her pants, touching you know what, and with big, joyfull eyes exclaming to me that she knows how to draw her privates! O, for heaven's sake, child! Though, I thougth in my head how fany that was, being a good mommy that I am I had a talk about what is and isn't appropriete to do.
Why is it that kids always pop those questions at the most inopportune times? For example- while you are dripping wet and stark naked?!! Kinda makes you feel a little self consious and violated at the same time huh?! Nice try with the armpits but I think he's a little too smart for that one!
That could well be the funniest thing I've ever read! I love Ava's little boyfriend! He's too stinkin cute for words! Ava (who was also in the bathroom while I was showering yesterday) pointed at my rear and said "big". Thankyouverymuch. I can only think of one thing worse than having my butt called big...that's Jason the Jack A** Bachelor!
Hi--it's Kami Hall....Oh,,,we all have had this exchange. At least you have vowed never to shower again,,,I just keep on gettin' clean and keep scarrin' the boys....It's what a mothers love is all about.
I will say, Spencer asks me to "put on yous jammas" before I get out of bed in the mornings. I just think the bed head is too much for him to handle, besides the garmies.
Your kids are cute. I can't believe you have 4!
Well that cute little face has a lot of questions doesnt he??? HOW CUTE IS HE SERIOUSLY??? so handsome!!
I shower every single day with McCoy in the bathroom. I make him bring his cars in and shut the door while I shower. The older he gets the more observant he gets-little perv. But to say the least, boys will be boys and with as sick as it is being thier mommy's- they will see us and be either intrigued or just flat out curious. McCoy is a little bit of both. But I, like you, refuse to have him out of sight while i shower, for fear he might do something dangerous. So its a toss up...either be honest with them and tell them the truth about mommy's and thier bodys' for fear they might say something in school at a young age...or just make something up and fear that they might grow up thinking that pee pee's and knockers are gems or whatever other words we use in place of the real thing! hahahahahah Either way we are screwed!!! Kids will be kids!! if you have any good advise, let me know! Anyway, write down that expereience for journals sake and heck....GET YOUR BUTT INTO THE SALON AND SEE ME SOON, I MISS YOUR FREAKIN GUTS! Love you to death!!
He is so stinkin cute!! That made me laugh so hard and it also made me thankful for my simple minded little man. Boston a)doesn't have the vocabulary for such a conversation and b) I don't think something like boobs has ever crossed his mind. I will probably have that conversation with him when he is about 12 and I'm ok with that. I miss you guys and I hope we see you soon. You have the cutest family and I love your honesty on here.
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