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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stronger

To quote one of my homies, Kanye West, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." (Okay, Okay all you smarties out there. I know that Kanye didn't pen the quote. That happened to be Frederich Nietzsche....Oh, and just so you know, I had to google that. I'm really not a brilliant quotition (I'm not even sure if this is a word. I may have just made it up.) Anyway, I just wanted to express my gangsta side....'Fo Shizzle. But this is not even the point. The point is this......It has been a long and, dare I say, exhausting summer. And to end this glorious season, my husband took a little trip to the operating room to have the screw removed in his foot.....because what's better than getting screwed???? Why, getting un-screwed, of course! So, for all my fellow bloggee's.....
A RECAP.

116 is the number of days that Lewis spend in a hard cast....or walking boot....or walking shoe....or any combination thereof. It is also the number of days that I spent praying to be put out of my misery....and Lewis probably spent praying for the exact same thing.

6 is the number of pillows that Lewis propped his foot up on for the first week after surgery. After sharing my bed with a vast array of pillows.....I'd say it was about 5 too many.

115 is the amount of cherry limeades that I consumed. I had one a day.....every day.....but the first day when I was weeping silently in my room and hoping that it would all be over soon.

60 is the amount of ice creams, or shakes, or some form of frozen, delicious goodness that was consumed. What can I say? I'm a sympathy eater.

10 is the amount of pounds I have gained since this whole D thing started!

14 is the number of times Lewis mowed the lawn in his cast....or boot....or shoe....because he cares so much about our beautiful lawn. I love that he's like that.

0 is the number of times that I mowed the lawn. I don't do lawns. I'm just like that.

6 is the number of times I weeded my yard and hated every stinkin' minute of it. It was then that I found out that I don't do weeding either.

27 is the number of times that I muttered under my breath "go put your own *bleepin'* gym clothes in your gym bag. "

27 is also the number of times that I apologized for being such a bitty.

14 is the number of baths that I helped Lewis with......and quite frankly, giving baths is WAY overrated.

1 is the number of Sunday's my husband missed throughout this whole ordeal. If it had been me, I may have not gone to church for the whole 4 months. This is another thing that makes my husband so great.

80 is the number of times Lewis asked me to rub his foot.....or put lotion on his "dry" foot....or both.

25 is the amount of times that I actually did it.......I'm a horrible wife, I know.

So, It's all said and done. No more cherry limeades.... or ice creams......or lotion on feet....baths.....or pillow propping.....no more casts/boots/awesome walking shoes......an end of an era, if you will.......and one that I gladly hope to not visit for a very, very long time! And just think, we're both not dead.....we're STRONGER!

Stay tuned for pictures of the burning of the boots.....I'm totally serious. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it big. I can't wait!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

LMN

I have a confession.....it started out rather innocently, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's turning into something bigger. The other day I was running on my treadmill and flipping through the channels for something mindless to watch while I ran away the miles, when I came across channel 109. Hmmm....that's funny, I thought to myself, I never remember having the Lifetime Movie Channel. So I tuned in.....and was hooked before I knew it. The miles just flew by, because after all, watching a movie about (an abused wife who leaves, after years of abuse, with her child only to start a new life, remarry, and then have her abusive husband reappear back in her life) can be quite intriguing, in a "train-wreck of a movie" sort-of way. It was quite a mindless way to spend an hour......and five or six miles. So, before I knew it I was DVRing all sorts of movies. Movies with titles like, " Wife, Mother, Murderer" and "Sleeping with the Devil." I then slowly realized that I was becoming like my mother.....not in a negative way, mind you. After all, my mother is a saint.....that being said, she MIGHT just have a slight addiction to the LMN. Nary a Sunday goes by that we don't go over to her house for dinner and during her preparations she is tuned in to one of those fine pieces of movie. (Shhh.....she may have a bigger problem than I do....I LOVE you mom.) And then I recalled the time that Lewis and I got drawn into a Lifetime Original movie, and got hooked from the get go. We decided to record the remainder of it because we were both falling asleep, and the next morning I caught Lewis watching it "just to see how it ended. " Oh LMN....no one is immune to your powers! But the more I write this, and think about it, and continue to watch movies while I run, I am struck by these questions: Do I really want to live in a world where surrogate mothers steal your husband, and your baby, while the wife goes crazy and starts killing everyone? Do I really want to live in a world where your next door neighbors might kidnap your three children and take them out of state because they think that you are an unfit mother? Do I really want to live in a world where your best friend seduces your father and then kills your mother?........I'm just sayin'........