Blog Diarrhea

Go ahead, grab your Immodium and some toilet paper.....I've got a case of the blogging "runs" and it may not be pretty.....You never know what's going to come out of my head and find it's way into this post..... It should make for a grand adventure.....

**So Savannah says to me today, "Mom, I'm glad you're so pretty.....and that you clean.....and that you're not a nakey Mom."
Savannah, thank you for thinking that I'm pretty and I do like to think of myself as a pretty "clean" person. Also, I'm glad I'm not a "nakey" Mom, either. 'Cause if I were naked, it definitely would not be pretty, and cleaning.....well, you can just count that right out. (Can you just picture naked vaccumming......EWWWW.)

**In my futile attempt to lose X amount of weight and to just generally maker healthier choices, I am drinking a TON of water. (They say you should drink half your weight in ounces of water daily.) I found that this is posing a HUGE problem whenever I want to go anywhere. (Do you know how many times a day you have to use the "potty" when you drink that much water??? And how frequently.) Today I decided to run out to the party store to buy stuff for Savy's birthday party. I was in the car 20 minutes, 20 MINUTES PEOPLE, and there was a moment where I thought I was going to have to pull off the side of the road, put on one of B's diapers, and well, use your imagination for the rest. ( Does this seem extreme, and just plain perverted? Yes, it does, but I want you to keep in mind that two people I dearly love did this very thing.....stuck in the middle of a traffic jam. When you gotta go, you gotta go.....and no, I'm not naming any names, so don't ask.) Then, when I got to the party store, wouldn't you know that there was someone in the woman's bathroom, so what do you think I did??? Headed straight into the men's, of course. (A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.) Plus, really, how many men do you think would be shopping at the party store at 12:30 on a Tuesday afternoon? Right. None. Now, I am feeling like an invalid, stuck in her house all day, 'cause her bladder, (which is the size of a pea), will not let her make even small outings possible. Why do I do this to myself????

** To all the parents of the children Savy invited to her party,
It was purely HER idea to buy the whoopie cushions and "really loud whistles" (a direct quote from her.) I am sorry if you don't agree, but hey, don't yell at me when your child comes home making all sorts of "fun" noises.....blame the 4 year old. (By the way, for those of you who know my dear little Savannah, would you have expected her to pick anything less? I think not.)

**And on this sad day in history, our dear Braden has finally grasped the concept of the Yes/No thing. (Previously he just answered "No" to everything, which did not pose a problem as we all became fluent in deciphering what really meant "Yes" by his tone.) This morning, he was lying in bed with me, and I asked him if he wanted to go and get breakfast. He looked right at me, and said "Yeah." Gasp. Daggers through my heart. I knew this day was coming, but really, why do your kids have to grow up???

**We just got home from spending the weekend in fabulous St. George and I have spent the last couple days figuring out how I can quit my job, move my family to St. George, and do absolutely nothing but swim, eat, sleep, relax, read, eat and swim. We, of course, had a dandy time doing just that. We swam until we were in a swimming coma, ate until we were ready to burst, and just had a great time together as a family. (Can't wait until Thanksgiving when we can do it all again.) If you notice the lack of pictures for said event, it is because I forgot my camera. But how can you forget your camera, you might ask? Aren't you a scrapbooker? Aren't you the self-dubbed "family historian." Well, I'll tell you how you can forget your camera: It's called "save-packing-for-the-last-minute-because-you're-still-doing-laundry-and-cleaning-your-house-plus-when-you-pack-for-five-people-you-tend-to-lose-you're-ever-lovin'-mind!" That's how you can forget your camera!

**In my futile attempts to watch more T.V, I will do just that. Watch. More. T.V. I love Premiere time. I've got my DVR working over time, Baby, and I love it! All my favorite shows back on the air.....what more could a girl ask for? ( Except a vacation.... and a new wardrobe.....renovations on my house...... and miraculous weight loss of X pounds, without having to do anything but watch T.V......a trip to the spa....and a "hot" mirror for every room in my house. And if I were the President, I would give every woman in the U.S those very things.)

Hope you enjoyed the diarrhea. Did I say it was going to be pretty?? No. But I hope it was worth it. Now, off to the "potty" I go.

PEACE OUT!