Hello Summer.....

Long time, no see. We've missed you.

Can't wait to play with you for the next three months. Let's be BFF's, okay?

Zachary and Kylie on the LAST day of school. Can't you just see the excitement in their faces....oh wait.....that's just the sun. My bad.

Two Wheelin' it!

I had a dream.....a dream that one day, all my children, no matter what age, would learn to ride a bike...... No seriously, I did have this dream. Way back in the day before I actually birthed my children I had this preconceived notion about what it would be like to be a Mom. I would play with my kids and read them books all day long. I would have hot cookies waiting for them when they got home from school. I would take walks around the block with them every day and point out all the interesting things along the way. I would teach them to ride a bike. The proper way. By holding on to the back of their little seat and running along side them until they yelled "Let go Mom...." and I would let go and off they would fly.

This is NOT what happened. What happened is this: Savannah hopped on a bike (our neighbor's bike by the by) and just took off. No warning. No teaching. Just doing. (That independent little bugger.) She was riding like a pro.....with no help or warning whatsoever. And now her life has changed.....because riding a bike without training wheels is just SO MUCH cooler than riding a bike with training wheels....DUH! Doesn't everybody know this?






A few things I love about this video. First, see that cute little blond boy skipping beside her? That's her best friend/boyfriend/neighbor/whipping boy....Wyatt. His brother's bike is the one Savy is riding. She says she is going to marry him one day. I say watch out Wyatt.....she's kind of a bossy britches! Second, I love how Savy says to Lewis, "Dad....let go....."and then she turns back around and Lewis is no where to be found. Who needs parents to help anyway? Not my gal, Sav.

And not even two days later.....she was like a professional bike rider! I'm not kidding. Have you ever seen a four year old stand up when they're riding their bike? Such ease....such grace...for the moment anyway. Good thing the first fall has already happened.

**Disclaimer** I KNOW....she is not wearing a helmet in either of these videos. I know you're probably wondering what kind of Mom let's their daughter ride around in her nightgown and flip flops....Well just shush....I will MAKE her wear a helmet from now on. In fact, if I could wrap her in bubble wrap and duct tape her I would. (She definitely is my accident prone one.) Also, the second video was taken at 8:30 in the morning, so a nightgown would be an obvious choice of attire. And flip flops? Well, they're the summer footwear staple....of course! I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get her to wear tennis shoes any time soon.

26.2

It was grueling. It was hard. It was physically AND mentally exhausting. I was sick. I threw up....... A lot. I was NOT at the top of my game. I did not get the time I was {hoping} for. I am sore. I can barely walk. All I want to do is lay in my bed all day and eat all the food I deprived myself of for so long. I have already lost one toenail. I'm sure about three more are to follow. I NEVER want to do another one. (At least that's what I'm telling myself for now.) But when I look at this picture......




.....I know that all my hard work was worth it.( I hope my kids will remember that their dear old Mom ran a marathon or two back in the day. )




And to my dear friend Kaci. Thanks for all the training. The laughs. The wetting in the pants....literally. The big Macs after long runs and the diet cokes and donuts. Thanks for making me run the damn thing because I never, EVER will forget it. I love you tons....and let's not do another one anytime soon, okay?

Bling

Remember when you were a wee little child and you received a new pair of tennis shoes you were absolutely, without a doubt, CONVINCED that they made you run faster? Remember how you would put them on and cruise around the neighborhood and yard just like Forrest Gump? Remember how you thought that no one in the entire world was as fast as you? Well, since I'm spoiled (hey, I'll be the first to admit it) and I wanted somethin' kinda pricey for my Mother's Day present......and I didn't want to actually wait until Mother's Day to get it......my husband gave me the go-ahead to order this little beauty:

For those of you who are nonthewiser.....this here little gem is the so-called BLING of the runner's world.....a Garmin Forerunner 305. This little beauty does practically everything that a runner wants it to do, with the exception of actually running for you. It tells you your pace, your time, how many miles you've gone, how many calories you've burned.....you name it. And it has become, in a sense, my "brand new shoes." I can strap this baby one, go for a run, and feel faster. (This is mainly due to the fact that it beeps every time I go below a certain pace as if to tell me : "Get your fat butt moving.....you slow poke." But hey, who's complaining.) I am in love with it and know without a doubt that I could give old Forrest a run for his money......but really, who's bragging? Oh wait.....that's me.

Oh, and as a double whammy.....and because again, let me reiterate, I'M SPOILED....my husband also let me buy these.....

Oh, that's right baby......watch out for me......and catch me if you can. I am the so called "triple threat" of the runner's world.......I just haven't come up with the third threat yet. If you find it would you please let me know. Thank you.

Pssstttt.....One more thing: I've decided to run another MARATHON! You could say I'm more than just a little bit crazy.

Beauty is Pain.....Pain is Beauty

Or some other crap like that.

Oh the things we women do for a little beauty. Case in point: Plucking our eyebrows. Not fun. Waxing: Not fun (or anything even remotely close to fun.) Wearing high heels: Sure it makes our legs look lean and nice, but really? NOT FUN! Well, today I was able to initiate my four year old daughter into the "it hurts like h-e double you know what, but it's all in the name of beauty" club. Today was the day of the piercing of the ears. Now I am from the mentality of not caring when my girls get their ears pierced. I don't have a certain age that I make them wait until. That's not to say that I disagree with people who do. I also never pierced their ears when they were babies, but again, I don't disagree with people who chose to do that. It's your child....do whatever the hay you want. I just thought that I would wait until they were the ones that chose to do it. I wasn't going to make them do something that they didn't want to do. Well, a little more than a year ago, Savy decided that she wanted to get her ears pierced. She was three at the time. Great. Let's do it. Then this happened.........

And we decided that after dozens and dozens of stitches.....getting her ears pierced might not be the best idea at the time. So we waited.....and waited. And then, that fateful day when Savy was watching an episode of John and Kate plus Eight (which by the way, is her FAVORITE show....really.....it is.....I'm not making this up) and one of the little girls gets her ears pierced and has an absolute meltdown! Like really, the mother of all meltdowns. It was then and there that Savy looks up at me and says: "Mom, I am NEVER getting my ears pierced!" Well.....okay then.

But I knew she'd come around....and come around she did. When she told me that she wanted them pierced, I threw her in the car ( Not literally people. Geesh. Don't call CPS on me) and headed over to the mall......before she could change her mind, or worse, get in another scooter accident.

Here she is all excited and ready to go. She has not idea......poor thing.

And now, the prep work is almost done. Hair pinned back: Check. Sterile gloves: Check. Cleaning the area with alcohol: Check. Teenager at the mall who was going to be shooting holes in my daughters ears: Check. Mother who wants to grab her daughter and make a run for it: Check and Check.

Um yeah....all done and SO not happy with me OR the teeny bopper employee.

This one is so sad.....Will she ever forgive me? Keep chanting this Savy: Beauty is pain, Beauty is pain.

There. That's better.

And then, because I'm all about the bribery..... (I am. There's no shame in it.) We went to get ice cream. Only our favorite ice cream store in the mall had apparently over- stayed it's welcome because it was no where to be found.....but we discovered that a Vanilla shake from McDonalds does the trick quite nicely.

And here's the money shot of the cute little pink flower earrings worn by the cutest little girl you ever did see.

I definitely think this last picture says it all. Smile on the face, gladly proclaiming the fact that she just got her ears pierced AND that a shake from Mickey Dee's can make it all better. Yes it can, Savy. Yes it can.

Now what to do about those Kindergarten shots?

And all the girlies say he's pretty fly for a white guy.....

A BIG shout- out to my hottie husband for kicking his first half marathon right in the can.

1 hour and forty minutes.

Ran it like a rockstar.

(Guess all that training paid off.)

I will take a small amount of credit for the kick-A play-list I created for him.

And for standing out in the freezing cold cheering him on.

But other than that, he totally did it on his own.

I'm so proud of him.

Give it to me baby, Uh huh, uh huh....and all the girlies say he's pretty fly for a white guy.

Dang skippy.

The birds and the bees.....Pinata Style

Dang that Santa. Dang him right to heck. (And dang the use of my "clean" language, when all I really feel like doing is swearing right now. BUT, you never know who's reading this blog, right? So, I will just continue to swear in my mind and pretend that I really do have a mouth that I could kiss my Mother with.) Now, what did the big guy do that's so bad, you might ask? Well, this is exactly what he did. He gave my 9 year old son a lesson in Sex Ed that we didn't quite bargain for..... all through a seemingly harmless video game...... that he got for Christmas. Is it all starting to make sense now? Really? You're still lost? Well, let me fill you in. Grab a drink and a snack 'cause this is gonna be GOOD! (And juicy.....and full of innuendos....if you're lucky! {wink, wink})

So, do me a fav. Watch this video real quick.....It won't take long....I promise. 43 seconds or less.... Just do it.....It'll be worth it.....

Now what do you see from this video? I see a fun-filled game involving pinatas. Nothing more. Nothing less.No blatant sexual undertones. No underlying innuendos. No mention of, dare I say, intercourse. (Gasp.) So I urged Zachary to ask for this game for Christmas. I am all about being able to use my children's Christmas toys as my own, and this game kinda intrigued me. Hmmm...plant a garden, attract species of pinatas, take care of your garden. Seems harmless enough. Bam! Christmas day, said game is opened and oohed and aahed over. Zachary plays it for awhile and then a couple of nights later when he's in bed I decide to give it a little try. I am hooked. I start by making my garden. Then I plant certain types of plants and this attracts certain species of pinata. Then, having certain species of pinata in your garden attracts other species of pinata. Seems kind of dumb, but oh so addicting! Then, the longer I play the game, the more skills I gain....And I've got mad skillz, baby! It's then that I realize this: Your pinatas can procreate! Well I never......

So this is how it goes.

1. You must have two of the same species of pinata. (Well, thanks captain obvious.)

2. All of the pinatas "needs" must be met. ( Things like feeding them a certain food, or making sure a certain type of plant is growing in the garden.)

3. You need to make sure they have a house. ('Cause I guess these little suckers don't want to "do it" in the car. Where's their sense of adventure, I ask you.)

After all of their needs are met is when the "magic" happens. You drag the two little love birds together. Little hearts flutter above their heads. The screen flashes forward to the inside of the house. The two pinatas are doing a love dance. (I am NOT making this up.) Now the screen flashes to the outside of the house where it is ROCKING UP AND DOWN! (Holy snake eyes on Sunday.) Then it flashes back into the inside of the house where the male pinata rolls over and falls asleep and the female pinata lights up a teeny tiny pinata cigarette. (Okay, just kidding....now I'm making it up, but I just wanted to see if ya'll were paying attention.) So, after they are done shaking the house to high heavens, both pinatas crawl out of the house and go their separate ways. Pretty soon the baby fairy comes and drops an egg in your garden, and in 1-2 minutes you are the proud parents of a baby pinata! (Whoops. I guess they forgot to use protection.) I am crapping you not!

I don't want to even know what sorts of thoughts are running through my 9 year olds head right now......fluttering love hearts......foreplay dancing..... if the house is rockin' don't come a knockin'.....Isn't he too young for this stuff? Isn't he too young for this video game? What's this rated E for everyone junk?! And why, oh why, did he have to learn the birds and the bees from a stinkin' video game? I for sure thought he'd learn it from some dirty little perv on the playground. I guess it's time for that 'Talk." The one that I'm going to make Santa Claus come and give him!