a prayer

So says Savy in her prayer the other night: "Please bless dad as he lays in bed all day.....and all night.....watching sports.....and drinking cherry limeades......and eating ice cream......while mom bathes all the kids and puts them to bed herself." Amen

***Disclaimer: This post may or may not be an exact quote. Poetic license may/may not have been taken by the author.

P.S Love you Lewis!!:)

Can you say Bamboozled???!!

So today I pick Kylie up from school and she tells me that Trace (the cute little blond boy that she has a crush on) just got his hair buzzed. And, at lunch time she gave Trace her fruit snacks, for (can you believe this??) the opportunity to rub his head for the rest of the day! HELLO! I think you got taken "behind the tool shed "my darling daughter. Mommy's sorry. I guess there are still some things I need to teach you.

Confessions of a wannabe runner

last saturday, beautiful day. gimpy-in-bed-all-day husband who will watch the kids. time for some running. i strap on my brand new running shoes and head out the door. six miles. piece of cake. i can do this. in my sleep. or not. i start running. maybe i am too used to the treadmill. where is my csi. or survivor. or dexter. or anything. keep running. focus on the music. this isn't so bad. nice weather. wind in my hair. oh my gosh it's hot. i think i wore too many clothes. take off long sleeved shirt and throw in bushes. mental note, come back and pick this up later. cannot forget. i love that shirt. must keep running. cannot stop and walk when i have not even been running a mile. only losers do that. or me. can not breathe. this kinda sucks. legs hurt. knees hurt. why do i do this to myself....oooh jack johnson. i love him. he's hot. can't wait to see him in august. i can run to this. get in the groove. why is it that every guy that passes has to check out my...(really) great running skills. i know their nice. (jeesh.what did you think i was going to say?)pick up the pace. Fergie, i love ya sister but i'm gonna have to skip ya. sorry. big girls do cry. must find good song to run to. okay.here we go. a little Aerosmith..which reminds me. Aerosmith guitar hero. can't wait. love me some guitar hero. oh shiz. a hill. i can do this. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can die now. have not run this route since marathon training. those were the good old days. and nights. and mornings. at 4:00 am. hey, i think i peed in that person's yard. and that one too. yep. i'm almost sure i did. halfway there and in the groove. got a good pace going. thinking how lucky i am to be able to do this. thinking about guy in wheelchair at mile 7 of marathon watching all the runners. thinking of mile 7 at the marathon. holy crapola. did i really do that??!! eye of the tiger. must run faster. must refrain from punching in the air as i run. think rocky balboa. think strong. think thrown out shoulder. downhill. this is nice. kick up the pace. oh crap. laughing my butt off. thinking of one early morning run with kamie. thought we were going to be attacked by some man standing in the middle of the road. turns out it was a construction barrel. hey, there could be men that are four feet tall. and orange. and their names are oompa-loompas. in the home stretch. what's this? a parade for me? oh crap. forgot about opening day of baseball. please don't let this be like a high school reunion. please don't let me see anyone i know. suck in gut. run faster. think 5 min mile. c'mon ac-dc. carry me through. almost there. pick up discarded shirt from earlier. cross highway. only 3 houses away. 2. 1. flop on grass. screw the stretching. i am finished! that wasn't so bad. it almost feels as good as this:


almost.but then again.not quite.

Concern

Should I be concerned that my extremely precious, lovable 22 month old has a bizarre fascination with knives and scissors?

You would never be able to tell by this picture, but if there is so much as a sharp instrument of any kind around (Scissors, knives, pronged forks, ice-picks, machetes, you name it...) he is drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He loves to watch me load the dishwasher and point out all the sharp knives to me while telling me that they are "sharp" and will "cut.' I was just wondering if he was destined to become, oh, let's say a sword maker, or if he is headed down that other path, that one that we won't mention ( cough- JeffreyDahmer)! Mom loves you B.

**On a side note, I am loving this picture that my THREE year old took....on my cell phone nonetheless! Yeah, she is somewhat of a child prodigy and will probably one day be as famous as_____________(insert the name of some famous photographer here.) Thanks Savy!

Fantasy Fulfilled

One gimpy husband + One sponge bath + One nurses costume = 3 Times the Fun!

(Oh, and just kidding about the nurses costume. I just had to add that. Sorry Lew! You can't help it if you're a gimp! I love you anyway.)

Ms. Grumps

Okay, I know it's a miracle. Two blog posts in one day. To celebrate my triumphant return to the blogging world I have one more quick story for you. This morning this girl:

Who is normally all smiles, woke up in the grumpiest of grumpy moods. There was just no reasoning with her and all my motivational talks about attitude and how it affects the rest of your day just didn't seem to be cutting it. So, I opted for the easy out. I told her this joke, (which normally I don't make it a habit of telling my children jokes centered around potty humor, exception: tigger in the toilet,) but I was desperate. Was I wrong? You be the judge.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (Get it? If you don't, start at the beginning and read again. Still don't get it? Well, then there's no hope for you at all!)

Guess what I was rewarded with? A hearty giggle and smiles all the way to the bus. I'd say Mission accomplished!

Oh, and as a side note, when I told this joke to Lewis he laughed for about five minutes. What is it about potty humor??!!!

Lesson Learned

Well, last night I was trying to be a good mom. Which sometimes, in my book, means buying my kids random treats. (It's called bribery, look into it!) So, while at the grocery store, I picked up these little treats for a FHE surprise. (Truth be told, Savy picked the treats and I readily concurred. I remember loving these things as a child!) This is what she picked:




You remember this stuff, right? Three assorted flavors of "dip" (read: pure sugar in colored form) and two white sticks with which to lick and dip. Sounds easy, sounds fun right? WRONG. I left my kids in pure excitement. They jumped up and down when they saw the treat, proclaiming I was the best mother in the world! (These were Kylie's words not mine. Jeesh. Who do you think I am?) I walked away for five minutes....FIVE MINUTES.....to put the clothes away and what I came back to was a virtual bloodbath of fun dip mess! They had the colored dip everywhere! On their hands, on their faces, all over the counters, all over the floor (Newly mopped mind you. Oh the irony.) It was like a little lik-m-aid elf had walked into my kitchen and sneezed it's little colored sugar brains out all over the place. Savy had run out of the white sticks, meaning she ate them both, and was using her hands to shovel the "dip" right into her lovely face. Her hands and face were covered in the stuff, which in case you were wondering (I know you were) does not wash off. I sent her to bed looking like Elfaba (read: the Wicked Witch of the West.) She thought it was kinda neat.) So, to all your moms out there who desire to bribe your children's love with treats and such, I think there are better, less messy, ways to do so. Lesson Learned.