Fantasy Fulfilled

One gimpy husband + One sponge bath + One nurses costume = 3 Times the Fun!

(Oh, and just kidding about the nurses costume. I just had to add that. Sorry Lew! You can't help it if you're a gimp! I love you anyway.)

Ms. Grumps

Okay, I know it's a miracle. Two blog posts in one day. To celebrate my triumphant return to the blogging world I have one more quick story for you. This morning this girl:

Who is normally all smiles, woke up in the grumpiest of grumpy moods. There was just no reasoning with her and all my motivational talks about attitude and how it affects the rest of your day just didn't seem to be cutting it. So, I opted for the easy out. I told her this joke, (which normally I don't make it a habit of telling my children jokes centered around potty humor, exception: tigger in the toilet,) but I was desperate. Was I wrong? You be the judge.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (Get it? If you don't, start at the beginning and read again. Still don't get it? Well, then there's no hope for you at all!)

Guess what I was rewarded with? A hearty giggle and smiles all the way to the bus. I'd say Mission accomplished!

Oh, and as a side note, when I told this joke to Lewis he laughed for about five minutes. What is it about potty humor??!!!

Lesson Learned

Well, last night I was trying to be a good mom. Which sometimes, in my book, means buying my kids random treats. (It's called bribery, look into it!) So, while at the grocery store, I picked up these little treats for a FHE surprise. (Truth be told, Savy picked the treats and I readily concurred. I remember loving these things as a child!) This is what she picked:




You remember this stuff, right? Three assorted flavors of "dip" (read: pure sugar in colored form) and two white sticks with which to lick and dip. Sounds easy, sounds fun right? WRONG. I left my kids in pure excitement. They jumped up and down when they saw the treat, proclaiming I was the best mother in the world! (These were Kylie's words not mine. Jeesh. Who do you think I am?) I walked away for five minutes....FIVE MINUTES.....to put the clothes away and what I came back to was a virtual bloodbath of fun dip mess! They had the colored dip everywhere! On their hands, on their faces, all over the counters, all over the floor (Newly mopped mind you. Oh the irony.) It was like a little lik-m-aid elf had walked into my kitchen and sneezed it's little colored sugar brains out all over the place. Savy had run out of the white sticks, meaning she ate them both, and was using her hands to shovel the "dip" right into her lovely face. Her hands and face were covered in the stuff, which in case you were wondering (I know you were) does not wash off. I sent her to bed looking like Elfaba (read: the Wicked Witch of the West.) She thought it was kinda neat.) So, to all your moms out there who desire to bribe your children's love with treats and such, I think there are better, less messy, ways to do so. Lesson Learned.

Spring Fever

We have got it BAD! Braden, my true outside kid, makes a break for it every time the door is open. He is constantly telling my he wants to go bye bye and gathering his socks, shoes, coat and hat to go out the door. Yesterday, I finally broke down and let the kids play outside. It was beautiful and Braden was in heaven. He ran around outside like a crazy man and had a screaming fit when I brought him in the house. Please Spring, I am pleading with you, pretty pretty please COME SOON. We cannot live without you. We anxiously await your arrival. In the meantime, enjoy these cute pics of the kiddos in their winter gear! The hats on Braden are just too cute to resist.

That's My Boy

To the little girl at the mall play place who walked up to my son, pushed him down and told him no......He may look like he is pure sunshine, all grins and giggles, but when he walks up to you, puts his finger your face and says "NO" in his sternest voice, then you know that you have a fourth child to contend with. Bravo, my son, good for you for holding your own. I hope that you can always stand up to those "Brats" in life.

The Very Best Babysitter

So, Today Lewis and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary (Hollah) and had a great day. I love him so very much. But this post is not about the mushy...that is for another time, another place. I just quickly wanted to share with ya'll out in blog land a cute kiddo story. So, this morning I was getting breakfast for the kids and waxing sentimental about my wedding day 10 years ago. I was telling them about what time it was when we got married and some things about the temple. Then cute little Savy pipes up "Mom, who babysat us while you were at the temple." I then explained to my darling dear that Mommy didn't have any of them at that time, that it was just daddy and I. Without missing a beat Zachary responded, "So we were up in heaven and Jesus was babysitting us."

So, To Nana, Grandma, Aubree, Jimi, Theresa and anyone else who might have watched these rugrats.....you are all great babysitters....but you've got nothing on the big guy! Love you all.

Anxiety

Well, this is the time of year that the inevitable happens. And no, I'm not talking about the stress of Christmas shopping, finding babysitters for all of our Christmas parties, or just the general hustle and bustle of this busy holiday season. My anxiety comes from of a different source: the fear of being discovered! For all of you parents out there, let me lay it down for you. I have had my Christmas shopping done for about a month now. This means that for the last month Christmas presents have been shopped for, delivered by my friendly neighborhood UPS guy (who I should know on a first name basis, yet strangely, I don't) and hidden in the depths of the basement. (Let's talk about "hidden" for a minute. This is not just your run of the mill "put your kids presents in your closet and hope that they don't go in there."These babies are hidden behind two locked doors, which if the kids manage to get through are yet behind another closed door (the furnace room) that I seriously doubt the kids even know exist!) Even still, let's pretend they even got that far. This is what they would see when they opened the door: a pant-load of amazon.com boxes, with the tops all closed, stacked on top of one another, with absolutely nothing of any worth showing at all!
But let me tell you, last night it happpened. I had the very first of one of my "Christmas" anxiety dreams. Let me break it down for you. You know those dreams where you are back in high school (yet you don't weigh the 105 pounds that you did in high school, which really sucks) you are instead you, in the current day. Now here are a couple scenarios. You have forgotten your locker combination and can't for the life of you seem to remember it, yet you try and try to get that sucker open. OR, there is a certain class that you haven't gone to all semester and now it's time to take the final, only you realize you don't know what in the heck you're going to be tested on. OR you show up to school with only a towel on. I could go on and on with many variations of the same dream, but needless to say, whenever I find myself having a dream like this, I have to step back and wonder what I have ANXIETY about in my life. But, at this time of year, and yes, It happens every year, I know exactly where the source is coming from. So, for less than three more weeks I will continue to experience stress in the form of random and meaningless dreams, until Christmas days arrives, and one more year gone without being discovered. Phew, I don't know how many more years I can pull this off.
Sweet Dreams.