Life in the "Nut House"

Going Private

2010-01-30T22:12:00.003-07:00

Okay peeps...

I think it's time. I've protested this long enough, but really, the world is a crazy place and I'm not sure I want my info out there for the whole world to see. I've got to take this blog private.

So....you know the drill. Leave me your e-mail address if you want an invite and unless you're the creepy stalker type I will oblige.

Thanks much.

I like you

2010-01-22T12:33:00.002-07:00

Recently my littlest guy has started to give me a little attitude. Sometimes when I go to kiss him he'll turn his head away from me or stick his fingers in his mouth or some other foolishness like that. (He is THREE for the love of Ned.....not Thirteen.....Isn't this a little too early for this nonsense to be starting?) So, my retaliation to this kind of behavior is to throw him down on this bed....or couch....or my lap....and kiss him incessantly. Like a hundred times or more. Usually this results in a laugh and lesson learned. Don't' mess with the Mom. Ever.

Well....here's the newest thing.....

Me: "Braden....I love you."

Braden: "Mom....I like you."

Um yeah. I.Like.You.

Just like that....I like you. (Where's the love in this I ask you?)

Here are the sort of comments I can foresee in my not-too-distant future:

"I tolerate you."

"You do not amuse me."

"Quit it with the sarcasm."

"I like you....but I don't like-like you."

Sigh. Why do they have to grow up so fast?

And one last thing Mr. Braden....when I ask for a kiss I don't mean an "air kiss" (You know, making a kissing noise across the room into thin air does NOT cut it for this mama.) If you continue along this path I will have no choice but to throw you to the bed and cover you with kisses a hundred million times over.....

Don't mess with this Mom. Ever.

Crack

2009-11-05T08:38:00.006-07:00

I have a little bit of an addiction problem.

There. I said it.

Don't judge me for it.

Some of you may remember the post that I wrote over a year ago to my new love Pine-Sol and how I had just discovered the powers of it to my advantage. I loved how clean it made my house smell......how I could fool just about anyone into thinking that my house was immaculately clean just by having a sink full of this stuff marinating all day long! (That's right people....I said marinating......sitting in my sink all day long.....getting cold until I ran more warm water in it to bring back that smell. I know it's sick. I never said it was normal......But addicts will often do abnormal things....It's true.)

Well......since them the problem has deepened. The addiction has grabbed a hold on me and won't let go. I MUST have that "powerful scent of clean" on a daily basis or I WILL GO CRAZY. I will go into withdrawals, get the shakes, get sick to my stomach and all that jazz. I NEED the pine-sol. Just give me the pine-sol and no one gets hurt. It has gotten out of hand.....

It has become "my crack."

Well......fed up of buying tiny bottle after tiny bottle and constantly running out and having to make emergency runs to my "dealer" (aka Wal-Mart......that crack ho) I stumbled across the Holy Grail of disinfectants........at my new BFF (and new dealer......take that Wal-mart) COSTCO. Because really? Everyone needs a jug of pine-sol that is larger than a small child. Everyone.

So seriously.....don't judge. I know I have a problem. I know that I buy Pine-sol in mass quantities. I know that your average housewife is most likely not stocking up on Pine-Sol at a Warehouse.....but I am not your average housewife, people......I am DESPERATE! And I need my crack.....er.....Pine-Sol. So just give me the Pine-Sol and NO ONE gets hurt.

Does anyone know of a 12-Step program for Pine-Sol addicts?

Child Abuse

2009-10-13T19:34:00.005-06:00

Once, many years back, me my siblings were looking at pictures from "back in the day" when we were wee little kids. My brother John, being the funny person that he is, commented to my Mom that the way she used to dress us could be considered a form of child abuse. At the time my Mom just laughed it off.....it was FUNNY. And really? Who dresses their kids like that anyway? Plaids and Polyesters and short shorts. It is only now, that I have little wee ones of my own, that I am realizing that my Mom most likely didn't dress us at all. I mean, just because you have cute kids, and you buy them 100's of dollars worth of really cute and stylish clothes, doesn't mean they're going to wear them. Who are we kidding? Most days, the kids dress themselves. And most days? It's not pretty. Case in point:

This is how my kids went to the grocery store today.

At first glance: Not so bad. Just a slight kool-aid moustache and crusted boogies under the nose.

Wait a minute. Are those the basketball shorts that B wore yesterday? And paired with a non-matching basketball shirt that we got in the mail today? Sweet Mother of Mary.

Yep. This boy looks pretty stylin'...... And pretty WT.

Oh look. A cute new hoodie from Old Navy on a cute little girl.

What the???? Is this for real?. Hearts, paired with polka dots, paired with cowboy boots? Whose child is this and where is her Mother?

And you wanna know the sad thing? Everything that Savy is wearing is brand new. Hence her deep desire to wear everything at once. If you took the hoodie off you would see a pink and white striped shirt. It's quite the ensemble.

So there it is. You be the judge? Abuse or not? I think I'll opt for the "Mom -who -picks -her -battles- and -decided -that- this- was- one -battle -that -was- not- worth- fighting" option.

But seriously? Can you believe I took them to the store like that? That's just messed up.

Shameless self-promotion

2009-08-07T18:52:00.002-06:00

Hiya peeps,

I started a new blog....so if you have some time check it out and drop me a line and let me know what you think.

Thanks tons, turkey buns.

Florrie

http://365daysofthegoodthebadtheugly.blogspot.com/

Son.....today you are a man.

2009-06-19T10:06:00.005-06:00

Well.....yesterday I took all FOUR kids to the dreaded hair cut appointment. It was a joy, let me tell ya. And apparently, someones MOTHER did not wash their son's face beforehand. Who could that be? Oh....I know. Maybe it was the MOM who has had four kids BY HERSELF all week and is slowly starting to shut down. Face washing, schmase washing.....that's what I always say. So as they continued to cut Braden's hair, and more and more fell down on his face and stuck there....I had to grab my camera to document this priceless photo.

Is it just me....or does my 2 year old look like he's got a five o'clock shadow??

Want to know the real irony? Before I took him to get his haircut, Lewis tried to talk me into getting it buzzed. But I protested. He's just too young. He'd look too old. Um yeah. Not quite as old as a two year old with some sweet facial hair. Gotta love it!

Idaho. No wait....you da hoe. No.....you da man!

2009-06-16T19:22:00.011-06:00

Redemption.

That's what this post is about. You might remember a couple of months ago I posted this as a tribute to my dear husband and his awesome accomplishment. Well, what you don't know is that shortly after the fact, my dear old brother-in-law, (who you can partially see in the picture) told me that I had cut him "real deep" when I failed to mention his awesome accomplishment as well. (Well, that and the obvious fact that I had to do some serious cropping to edit him out of the photo.) So, after I asked him why he was pms'ing and if he needed to borrow a little gyne lotrimin or a tampon, I decided to write this little post to redeem myself as the favored sister-in-law.....(and don't you forget it!)

This past weekend the fam loaded in the car to take a nice little jaunt to Idaho. Besides the fact that I LOVE me some potatoes.....there really isn't much to see in Idaho. But, we were there as the support team for my most awesomest brother-in-law Todd who competed in his very first (but definitely not last....I'm sure) HALF IRON MAN! People, people, people.....I am not a triathlete by any means. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I won't be in my lifetime, but do you realize what a half iron man is? Well, let me break it down for you.

Swim: 1.2 miles
Bike: 56 miles

Run 13.1 miles

(And holy shiester......If that doesn't make you want to vomit.....then I don't know what does.)

Now, I'm not gonna lie. We stood outside in the pouring rain for hours waiting for him to finish. And again.....not gonna lie when I say I'm pretty sure that I had a little tear in my eye when he crossed the finish line. It was worth every second of torturous, hellish, wet rain....with four kids, mind you.....and I'd do it all over again. (And I say this in all honesty because I'm 100% sure that we'll be in Boise again next year so that Lewis can say he did it too.) Somehow, I will never forget how Todd ran beside me for those last few miles of the St. George marathon....just when I thought I wanted to die.....and gave me the encouragement I needed to finish the dang thing! So there, Todd. Oops....I mean Mr. Iron man. This post is for you. Congrats on your major accomplishment, although, I just have one more thing to say. Since you only finished a HALF iron man, does this only make you half a man? Ponder on that for awhile.

And just in case this post bored you to tears....and also, just in case you were wondering if all family functions are all about Todd ( Jeesh Todd.....get over yourself. Everything is not about you.) We did some other things in Boise that were noteworthy as well.

We went to the Zoo. And by dang if it wasn't one of the better zoos we've been too. In fact, it kinda kicked Hogle Zoo's butt. What it lacked in size ( it really was quite compact) it made up for in animal activity! I will swear to my dying day that Hogle Zoo sedates its animals. Every time I go there I end up never seeing any animals or pointing out sleeping animals to my children. Well....this zoo was a hoppin'. The penguins were swimming, the lion was pacing, the bobcat was licking it's chops and eying my kiddos down, and the monkeys were swinging around like it was no body's business. ( And all would be amiss if I also didn't mention that one of the monkeys flipped my mother-in-law off.....I am crappin' you not! You can even ask her.) A fine day was had by all until a torrential downpour rolled on in and we made a hasty exit from the zoo into our cars.

Also.....seriously....have you ever seen a cuter picture than this one? We told Braden and his cousin, Claire, to pose together and wouldn't you know it....it looks just like an engagement picture. Funniest. Dang. Thing. Ever. Have you ever seen such stunning children in your life?

Also, just in case I didn't mention it......it rained. A lot. A literal downpour of soaking wetness. These pictures don't do it justice as to just how wet we all were. But we had a ball cheering Todd on, and I just have to say, again......Todd, you may just have the best family in the world. That's for dang sure!

So there you have it. Again, my dearest brother-in-law, congrats on the incredible feat of strength that you just pulled off. You are my hero and the second coolest person I know.

Love ya.

Hello Summer.....

2009-05-30T15:57:00.003-06:00

Long time, no see. We've missed you.

Can't wait to play with you for the next three months. Let's be BFF's, okay?

Zachary and Kylie on the LAST day of school. Can't you just see the excitement in their faces....oh wait.....that's just the sun. My bad.

Two Wheelin' it!

2009-05-27T19:04:00.014-06:00

I had a dream.....a dream that one day, all my children, no matter what age, would learn to ride a bike...... No seriously, I did have this dream. Way back in the day before I actually birthed my children I had this preconceived notion about what it would be like to be a Mom. I would play with my kids and read them books all day long. I would have hot cookies waiting for them when they got home from school. I would take walks around the block with them every day and point out all the interesting things along the way. I would teach them to ride a bike. The proper way. By holding on to the back of their little seat and running along side them until they yelled "Let go Mom...." and I would let go and off they would fly.

This is NOT what happened. What happened is this: Savannah hopped on a bike (our neighbor's bike by the by) and just took off. No warning. No teaching. Just doing. (That independent little bugger.) She was riding like a pro.....with no help or warning whatsoever. And now her life has changed.....because riding a bike without training wheels is just SO MUCH cooler than riding a bike with training wheels....DUH! Doesn't everybody know this?

A few things I love about this video. First, see that cute little blond boy skipping beside her? That's her best friend/boyfriend/neighbor/whipping boy....Wyatt. His brother's bike is the one Savy is riding. She says she is going to marry him one day. I say watch out Wyatt.....she's kind of a bossy britches! Second, I love how Savy says to Lewis, "Dad....let go....."and then she turns back around and Lewis is no where to be found. Who needs parents to help anyway? Not my gal, Sav.

And not even two days later.....she was like a professional bike rider! I'm not kidding. Have you ever seen a four year old stand up when they're riding their bike? Such ease....such grace...for the moment anyway. Good thing the first fall has already happened.

**Disclaimer** I KNOW....she is not wearing a helmet in either of these videos. I know you're probably wondering what kind of Mom let's their daughter ride around in her nightgown and flip flops....Well just shush....I will MAKE her wear a helmet from now on. In fact, if I could wrap her in bubble wrap and duct tape her I would. (She definitely is my accident prone one.) Also, the second video was taken at 8:30 in the morning, so a nightgown would be an obvious choice of attire. And flip flops? Well, they're the summer footwear staple....of course! I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get her to wear tennis shoes any time soon.

26.2

2009-05-19T18:53:00.006-06:00

It was grueling. It was hard. It was physically AND mentally exhausting. I was sick. I threw up....... A lot. I was NOT at the top of my game. I did not get the time I was {hoping} for. I am sore. I can barely walk. All I want to do is lay in my bed all day and eat all the food I deprived myself of for so long. I have already lost one toenail. I'm sure about three more are to follow. I NEVER want to do another one. (At least that's what I'm telling myself for now.) But when I look at this picture......

.....I know that all my hard work was worth it.( I hope my kids will remember that their dear old Mom ran a marathon or two back in the day. )

And to my dear friend Kaci. Thanks for all the training. The laughs. The wetting in the pants....literally. The big Macs after long runs and the diet cokes and donuts. Thanks for making me run the damn thing because I never, EVER will forget it. I love you tons....and let's not do another one anytime soon, okay?

Bling

2009-04-21T19:03:00.005-06:00

Remember when you were a wee little child and you received a new pair of tennis shoes you were absolutely, without a doubt, CONVINCED that they made you run faster? Remember how you would put them on and cruise around the neighborhood and yard just like Forrest Gump? Remember how you thought that no one in the entire world was as fast as you? Well, since I'm spoiled (hey, I'll be the first to admit it) and I wanted somethin' kinda pricey for my Mother's Day present......and I didn't want to actually wait until Mother's Day to get it......my husband gave me the go-ahead to order this little beauty:

For those of you who are nonthewiser.....this here little gem is the so-called BLING of the runner's world.....a Garmin Forerunner 305. This little beauty does practically everything that a runner wants it to do, with the exception of actually running for you. It tells you your pace, your time, how many miles you've gone, how many calories you've burned.....you name it. And it has become, in a sense, my "brand new shoes." I can strap this baby one, go for a run, and feel faster. (This is mainly due to the fact that it beeps every time I go below a certain pace as if to tell me : "Get your fat butt moving.....you slow poke." But hey, who's complaining.) I am in love with it and know without a doubt that I could give old Forrest a run for his money......but really, who's bragging? Oh wait.....that's me.

Oh, and as a double whammy.....and because again, let me reiterate, I'M SPOILED....my husband also let me buy these.....

Oh, that's right baby......watch out for me......and catch me if you can. I am the so called "triple threat" of the runner's world.......I just haven't come up with the third threat yet. If you find it would you please let me know. Thank you.

Pssstttt.....One more thing: I've decided to run another MARATHON! You could say I'm more than just a little bit crazy.

Beauty is Pain.....Pain is Beauty

2009-04-14T21:19:00.005-06:00

Or some other crap like that.

Oh the things we women do for a little beauty. Case in point: Plucking our eyebrows. Not fun. Waxing: Not fun (or anything even remotely close to fun.) Wearing high heels: Sure it makes our legs look lean and nice, but really? NOT FUN! Well, today I was able to initiate my four year old daughter into the "it hurts like h-e double you know what, but it's all in the name of beauty" club. Today was the day of the piercing of the ears. Now I am from the mentality of not caring when my girls get their ears pierced. I don't have a certain age that I make them wait until. That's not to say that I disagree with people who do. I also never pierced their ears when they were babies, but again, I don't disagree with people who chose to do that. It's your child....do whatever the hay you want. I just thought that I would wait until they were the ones that chose to do it. I wasn't going to make them do something that they didn't want to do. Well, a little more than a year ago, Savy decided that she wanted to get her ears pierced. She was three at the time. Great. Let's do it. Then this happened.........

And we decided that after dozens and dozens of stitches.....getting her ears pierced might not be the best idea at the time. So we waited.....and waited. And then, that fateful day when Savy was watching an episode of John and Kate plus Eight (which by the way, is her FAVORITE show....really.....it is.....I'm not making this up) and one of the little girls gets her ears pierced and has an absolute meltdown! Like really, the mother of all meltdowns. It was then and there that Savy looks up at me and says: "Mom, I am NEVER getting my ears pierced!" Well.....okay then.

But I knew she'd come around....and come around she did. When she told me that she wanted them pierced, I threw her in the car ( Not literally people. Geesh. Don't call CPS on me) and headed over to the mall......before she could change her mind, or worse, get in another scooter accident.

Here she is all excited and ready to go. She has not idea......poor thing.

And now, the prep work is almost done. Hair pinned back: Check. Sterile gloves: Check. Cleaning the area with alcohol: Check. Teenager at the mall who was going to be shooting holes in my daughters ears: Check. Mother who wants to grab her daughter and make a run for it: Check and Check.

Um yeah....all done and SO not happy with me OR the teeny bopper employee.

This one is so sad.....Will she ever forgive me? Keep chanting this Savy: Beauty is pain, Beauty is pain.

There. That's better.

And then, because I'm all about the bribery..... (I am. There's no shame in it.) We went to get ice cream. Only our favorite ice cream store in the mall had apparently over- stayed it's welcome because it was no where to be found.....but we discovered that a Vanilla shake from McDonalds does the trick quite nicely.

And here's the money shot of the cute little pink flower earrings worn by the cutest little girl you ever did see.

I definitely think this last picture says it all. Smile on the face, gladly proclaiming the fact that she just got her ears pierced AND that a shake from Mickey Dee's can make it all better. Yes it can, Savy. Yes it can.

Now what to do about those Kindergarten shots?

And all the girlies say he's pretty fly for a white guy.....

2009-04-07T15:38:00.004-06:00

A BIG shout- out to my hottie husband for kicking his first half marathon right in the can.

1 hour and forty minutes.

Ran it like a rockstar.

(Guess all that training paid off.)

I will take a small amount of credit for the kick-A play-list I created for him.

And for standing out in the freezing cold cheering him on.

But other than that, he totally did it on his own.

I'm so proud of him.

Give it to me baby, Uh huh, uh huh....and all the girlies say he's pretty fly for a white guy.

Dang skippy.

The birds and the bees.....Pinata Style

2009-03-11T19:07:00.008-07:00

Dang that Santa. Dang him right to heck. (And dang the use of my "clean" language, when all I really feel like doing is swearing right now. BUT, you never know who's reading this blog, right? So, I will just continue to swear in my mind and pretend that I really do have a mouth that I could kiss my Mother with.) Now, what did the big guy do that's so bad, you might ask? Well, this is exactly what he did. He gave my 9 year old son a lesson in Sex Ed that we didn't quite bargain for..... all through a seemingly harmless video game...... that he got for Christmas. Is it all starting to make sense now? Really? You're still lost? Well, let me fill you in. Grab a drink and a snack 'cause this is gonna be GOOD! (And juicy.....and full of innuendos....if you're lucky! {wink, wink})

So, do me a fav. Watch this video real quick.....It won't take long....I promise. 43 seconds or less.... Just do it.....It'll be worth it.....

Now what do you see from this video? I see a fun-filled game involving pinatas. Nothing more. Nothing less.No blatant sexual undertones. No underlying innuendos. No mention of, dare I say, intercourse. (Gasp.) So I urged Zachary to ask for this game for Christmas. I am all about being able to use my children's Christmas toys as my own, and this game kinda intrigued me. Hmmm...plant a garden, attract species of pinatas, take care of your garden. Seems harmless enough. Bam! Christmas day, said game is opened and oohed and aahed over. Zachary plays it for awhile and then a couple of nights later when he's in bed I decide to give it a little try. I am hooked. I start by making my garden. Then I plant certain types of plants and this attracts certain species of pinata. Then, having certain species of pinata in your garden attracts other species of pinata. Seems kind of dumb, but oh so addicting! Then, the longer I play the game, the more skills I gain....And I've got mad skillz, baby! It's then that I realize this: Your pinatas can procreate! Well I never......

So this is how it goes.

1. You must have two of the same species of pinata. (Well, thanks captain obvious.)

2. All of the pinatas "needs" must be met. ( Things like feeding them a certain food, or making sure a certain type of plant is growing in the garden.)

3. You need to make sure they have a house. ('Cause I guess these little suckers don't want to "do it" in the car. Where's their sense of adventure, I ask you.)

After all of their needs are met is when the "magic" happens. You drag the two little love birds together. Little hearts flutter above their heads. The screen flashes forward to the inside of the house. The two pinatas are doing a love dance. (I am NOT making this up.) Now the screen flashes to the outside of the house where it is ROCKING UP AND DOWN! (Holy snake eyes on Sunday.) Then it flashes back into the inside of the house where the male pinata rolls over and falls asleep and the female pinata lights up a teeny tiny pinata cigarette. (Okay, just kidding....now I'm making it up, but I just wanted to see if ya'll were paying attention.) So, after they are done shaking the house to high heavens, both pinatas crawl out of the house and go their separate ways. Pretty soon the baby fairy comes and drops an egg in your garden, and in 1-2 minutes you are the proud parents of a baby pinata! (Whoops. I guess they forgot to use protection.) I am crapping you not!

I don't want to even know what sorts of thoughts are running through my 9 year olds head right now......fluttering love hearts......foreplay dancing..... if the house is rockin' don't come a knockin'.....Isn't he too young for this stuff? Isn't he too young for this video game? What's this rated E for everyone junk?! And why, oh why, did he have to learn the birds and the bees from a stinkin' video game? I for sure thought he'd learn it from some dirty little perv on the playground. I guess it's time for that 'Talk." The one that I'm going to make Santa Claus come and give him!

Well I'll be danged.....they cater???

2009-03-10T07:29:00.003-07:00

Psst.....here's a secret. Did you know that the very best burger restaurant in Utah Valley has expanded their horizons to include a catering business? I happen to know this because I'm definitely on the up and up with all the latest trends. Oh, and also, my father-in-law happens to be the owner of said restaurant. (But that's a minor detail.)

That being said, here is my shameless plug for the brand new Burgers Supreme Catering. If you own your own company, are the boss of people, work for a company, work for a boss, plan family reunions, attend family reunions, are on the activity committee for your ward (and if you are, I'm sorry), attend activities in your ward, and may have anything to do with the planning of a shindig, big or small, Please......pretty, pretty please.....keep Burgers Supreme in mind for the job. If you have ever partaken of the sheer goodness that is Burgers Supreme, you will know of the quality of their food. (Plus their fry sauce is SO good you might just want to take a bath in it....go on, you can....we won't tell anyone.)

C'mon do it.....just call them.....we all know you want to.

http://www.burgerssupremecatering.com/

A conversation

2009-03-03T12:31:00.004-07:00

Today I had a very "revealing" conversation with my two year old son. Here's how it went. I had just stepped out of the shower and he was sitting on the bathroom counter brushing his teeth with my toothbrush. (Oh the lovely things we moms do for a moments peace.) Now, before you judge, Yes, I do take a shower with my son in the room. He's TWO for hecks sake, and besides, if I didn't have my watchful eye on him every minute of the day he would be outside playing in the road without any socks and shoes on, nary a jacket in sight, in this wonderful March weather. (Which, by the by, is exactly what he was doing earlier this morning while I was lying in my bed watching "The Bachelor" forgetting about the fact that if I don't have my watchful eye on him every minute of the day then he pulls stunts like this. Phew. That was a lot to get off my chest.)
But I digress....back to the whole point of this shenanigan......
Here's how out little chat went:

Me: (Toweling off in front of him as I have done every morning for his whole entire life.)

Braden: Mom, you have a funny wee wee.

Me: Oh, (slightly embarrassed by the two year olds observations.....it's not that funny, is it?) B...you're so silly. (Change subject fast....I do not like where this is headed.)

Braden: Mom, what are those called? (Pointing at my chest and square at "the goods.")

Me: (Being coy) I don't know Beepers, what are they called?

Braden: Armpits! (Thinking for a minute.....and this is what I'm positive crosses his mind.... Hmm...I see Dad put on his deodorant every morning underneath his armpits, and these things look suspiciously different. These cannot be armpits.) Nooooo Mom, not armpits. What are they called?

Me: (Oh boy, which word should I use? As a whole slew of them cross of mind, and I will save you the many options I ran through, before I finally decided....) It's called my chest B. My chest. Now get outside and play in the road!

And this is why I can never shower again. (I sure hope my husband likes his women stinky....and er...... "ungroomed." YIKES.) Such a sad tale....but true. I'm afraid this ones going to give me a run for my money. But he sure is cute, ain't he?

Yeah.....we pretty much rock as parents....

2009-02-23T12:58:00.005-07:00

That's what Lewis and I were saying to ourselves in bed last night. We were giving ourselves a huge pat on the back, because really, who's better parents than we are? (Don't really answer that question.) In all of our awesomeness, we surprised our kids on Saturday with a trip to the Happiest place on Earth (which I've been told is different for some people) but for us it spells DISNEYLAND. And get this.....this is how we told them. (Because again, all super cool parents, raise your hand. Hollah!)

After we had our weekend ritual of Chinese take-out, we gave our kids their "Special" fortune cookies. (Not those kind of "special" cookies....jeez you sickos.) These fortune cookies were specially prepared by dear old me, and as you can see, made it very clear where we were going to be headed this week. After much screaming, jumping around, and near wetting of underpants, the kiddos calmed down enough to shower us with praises.

"You're the best Mom and Dad ever!"

"We love you so much!"

"You should be given the "parents of the year award." (Okay, this is maybe a stretch, but that's how they made us feel.)

Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats having your kids think that you are the bomb.com.

So, my fellow bloggers, try not to think of me this week as I walk around Disneyland in the 70 degree weather, holding a hand- dipped corn dog in one hand and a Mickey Mouse shaped ice-cream in the other, while I ride on Space Mountain and get Mickey's autograph. With my diet out the window I will not eat anything that (in my words of my bro-in-law, Dave) is not deep-friend and is and/or rolled in sugar. That's just how I roll. I will report my adventures when I return.

Peace out Peeps!

***P.S Blah, blah, blah, blah....I know I've been gone awhile from blogging. Please don't remind me of this fact....I am deeply aware of it. Blah, blah, blahedy freakin' blah....I'll be better in the future....I promise.

Withdrawals

2008-12-03T21:03:00.006-07:00

It's never good coming down from a high. I gots me a serious case of the Thanksgiving withdrawals and it ain't purty. It's almost as bad as a case of shaky legs ( don't mock me, 'cause unless you've had shaky legs you have no room to judge) but not quite. I have recently returned from a glorious, wonderfilled, laugh -your- arse -off holiday weekend in St. George and here are some of the things I'm suffering withdrawals from:

(In no particular order. I am not biased in any way, shape, or form.)

1. Eating. What? The Nuttall's love to eat??? That's a surprise. (My tone is dripping with sarcasm, in case you didn't pick up on that.)

2. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning playing games. Some of the funniest moments EVAH. I don't care if I'm playing catch up on my sleep until next week.....TOTALLY worth it.

3. Swimming. Who doesn't love swimming in late November. Although it was not too warm outside, nothing beats a pool heated to a nice, balmy 90 degrees. Heaven.

4. Sleeping in....oh wait, that never happened. Silly me.

5. Bonding with baby Will. (Seriously, cutest.baby.ever. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the favorite Aunt. Which I am. (The favorite Aunt that is. Just don't tell the other ones.)

6. Laughing till I thought I was going to puke.....and sometimes I wanted to puke, but that was for other reason which shall not be name publicly. I will only say this : "Hey Todd, what's that on the ground down there?" You get my drift. Thank heavens for turtle necks.

7. Running with my kick A**bro-in-law, Todd. Let's do it again soon, K?

8. Having not a care in the world.....except maybe what we were going to eat next. Seriously, it was sick and wrong.

9. Spending the day with my parents and brother (and his family) on the day of his 33rd B-Day. Thanks again, Dan and Ivy.

10. Spending one of the most wonderful weeks with some of my very favorite people in the entire world.

So, withdrawals and all, good times people........good times.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

Now whens the next trip????

Bah Humbug......

2008-11-05T15:34:00.003-07:00

Bleh.....I woke to snow covering my ground this morning. The first thing out of my mouth? "Yuck. I'm not ready for this." Lewis asked me just what my whole "problem" with Winter was anyway? "Do you want me to make a list?" I responded back. And I could. Make a list that is. Of all the things that I hate about this dreaded Season. As a matter of fact, Spring and I still haven't made up. I haven't forgotten how it snowed clear into JUNE. We got jipped. And now? Here we start the long, cold winter. BUT, I don't want ya'll to think I'm a total hater. (Plus, we did just teach the kiddos in FHE on Monday about gratitude. I don't want to be hypocritical.) SO, to honor the first snow of the year, I will think of FIVE things that I LOVE about the winter season. Here goes:

1. Well duh? Christmas, Baby! Who doesn't love this Holiday, that's what I wanna know. Snow is a vital part of the Season.

2. Drinking hot chocolate with my kids. A couple years ago I asked for a hot chocolate maker for Christmas and it has been, hands down, one of the best gifts I have received. I love that dang thing! If you ever mosey down by my hood, I'll make you a scrumptious cup.

3. I'm looking forward to FINALLY being able to stay in the house and complete some projects. Can you say scrapbooking? Can you say Six years behind? Yeah. Enough said. I will also use this time to hone up on my Wii skills. I will bowl a 300. I will play MarioKart until I am number 1. I will finish Mario Galaxy. I will learn to play "Talk Dirty to Me" on an expert level.....yah know, all those REALLY important things in life.

4. Two words.....JACK BAUER. I will spend all Winter long watching the love of my life as he saves the world from more peril and strife. (P.S Why didn't we elect Jack Bauer as President of the US.????)

5. When else but the Winter can we get awesome photo ops like this one? Yeah, this is Braden, outside with the pumpkins covered in snow (mental note: throw pumpkins in the garbage), in his winter hat, sans coat, but wearing his FLIP FLOPS. He's my kinda kid. Way to stick it to the man, B......the Winter man, that is!

P.S. This was HARD.....coming up with five things I love about winter. Again, just in case you forgot, I DON'T LIKE WINTER. Somehow I will persevere. Somehow.

Story Time

2008-11-02T09:09:00.002-07:00

Who wants to hear a lovely little story? One that involves a four year old who clogged up my toilet, repeatedly flushed it, and caused a quasi-major flood in my bathroom. Let me warn you, this story involves a mother screaming for HELP as POO WATER rushes two inches deep all over the bathroom floor and closely borders flooding the bedroom. It also involves a flustered Mom, who when forced with the chore of turning off the water in the toilet, doesn't do so great a job, but eventually gets er' done. It also involves using every darn towel in the house to clean up the mess, therefore necessitating the fact that I will be doing "towel" laundry for the next six days. (And P.S, have you every had to carry sopping wet towels to the washing machine with poo water leaking all over everything? Not my finest hour.) And all the while......getting four kids ready for church BY MYSELF (which I do every week, but still,no small task) and having to re-shower after my first shower because ewwwww.....POO WATER! Doesn't that sound like such a lively little tale? Yeah, I thought so too.

Oh, and as I final note: I woke up this morning silently cursing the woes of daylight savings time....writing a blog post in my mind on it's nastiness. But, now I am silently grateful for the fact that my children woke up at 6:00 a.m (that's right, peeps, 6 bloody 0' clock) because I would have had to skip church all together......and I still might. I don't think I'm feeling very good....the thought of POO WATER is making me feel a little queasy......I think I have to go lie down now....

The End

2008-10-30T07:02:00.002-07:00

Screw Diamonds.

I think I found the {new} girl's best friend.

After {almost} one full day of doing the dishes by hand ( trust me, not my finest hour), I was more than pleased to receive this little ditty. Look at how it sparkles.......look at how it shines. My new BFF and I are totally compatible.

It's a pleasure working with you, Mr. Dishwasher.

Disclaimer: This doesn't mean that I wouldn't be more than happy with a nice diamond tennis bracelet. It also doesn't mean that I will always be so giddy about receiving appliances as gifts. What it does mean is that washing dishes for a family of six BY HAND made me want to lose my mind. Who has time for that crap anyway? That's what I wanna know.

A Horror Story.........

2008-10-28T19:45:00.011-07:00

Just in time for Halloween!

If this doesn't give you nightmares......then you must be a stronger man than I. (And by man, I really mean WoMan.) This is not for the weak of heart. Look at your own risk......yada yada yada.....and all other sorts of ominous warnings. Scroll down to see something truly terrifying....

That's right, Baby! Holy-Freakin'-Crappola! This is what I found lurking behind my BBQ when I pulled it out. All I wanted to do was grill up some nice steaks for dinner, but after viewing this monstrosity I had to run into the house to change my pants. Does this not creep the junk out of anyone but me??? At first, I thought I had come across some rare breed of "crab-like" arachnid. BUT, upon closer inspection (And by closer I mean aprox. 12 feet away from the actual critter, but using the zoom on my camera) I discovered that what I actually had come across was a soon-to-be "Mommy" spider. That's right folks....this ones ready to pop! So, instead of inviting her into my abode, having her put her feet up to reduce swelling, and rubbing lotion all over her pregnant abdomen, ( Trust me. Been there. Done that. Pregger four times, thank you very much) I ran for the nearest bottle of Raid and had Lewis squirt the ever-lovin' crap out of that horrible little creature. I don't care if we just exterminated an entire population of spiders and committed spidercide. Can you imagine? CAN YOU IMAGINE? If that spider had delivered her spiderettes all over my back deck! Yeah.....ponder on that for awhile.

Sweet dreams.

This girl knows how to party

2008-10-06T16:32:00.007-06:00

Last week we partied like we were rock stars. But how? you may ask. Well, how does four parties in four days sound to you? (To me it sounds like I now need a vacation, but somehow we survived.) How fitting that our darling Savy got to celebrate FOUR times on the very year that she turned FOUR. It will definitely be a year to be remembered.

On Thursday we had Savannah's very first "friend" party. She invited 10 kids (I know, I just might be crazy to have let her do that) and we partied like it was 1999. My sister-in-law asked me what the "theme" of the party was. I told her that the "theme" of the party was this: "Survive an hour with 10 kids, hopped up out of their minds on sugar, play games that bore them in about 3 minutes, give them prizes that their parents will want to throw in the garbage that very day, eat a little ice cream, and send them on their merry way with more goodies in a bag that will make the parents want to rip their hair out (ie whoopie cushions and whistles.)" And that was the theme of Savy's very first B-Day party. Aren't I just the best mom????

Just Look at this wild bunch. Have you ever seen so many kids (outside of an episode of John and Kate plus 8) in your entire life?

Savy took a minute to ask for a little "guidance" from above to help her dear Mother survive that hellish hour. (Okay....really....she's just playing button, button....but HA. I fooled you.) P.S.....This is what I was really doing in the corner. Shh....don't tell anyone.

On Friday, Savy got to celebrate her birthday at school. She got to bring treats (Ding Dongs) and was the queen for the day. This entails being the "helper" the whole day at school and getting this spectacular crown.....of which she has not stopped talking about how the teacher put too many candles on her birthday hat........DUH.....she's not five.....oops.

Saturday was the day of her actual Birthday. We started the day with some lovely presents that included........none other than a Candy Cane Jar. YES!(Said in your best Napoleon Dynamite imitation.) And she was excited.....even though she totally knew she was getting it. And when I asked her how many candy canes it looked like she had in her in her jar she said, "Like a million!" Close Savy..... 30 is VERY close to a million. Didn't I do pretty good? (for a CC Jar that is.)Then later, because I'm pretty much the best Mom in the whole wide world, we took the chillin's to the ol' Chuck E Cheese. You may or may not know the deep "love" that my husband has for this place......(and by love, I mean really, really intense hatred.) Quite frankly, I'm shocked he didn't use his VETO power to nix the whole idea. Surprisingly enough, he had the nerve to say that he would rather have surgery on his foot 15 times before he stepped foot back into that place.! (Like that surgery was hard on just him. Do we not remember the summer?) But alas, Savy had a blast....which is what it was all about. Maybe Lewis would have had more fun if they let him ride the Ferris wheel......Sorry Lew....it's for kids 8 and under. Too bad.

And last, but not least, dinner at Nana and Grandpa's on Sunday, with a birthday cake roughly the size of a small pony. ' Cause it's just not a birthday until you stuff your pie hole with massive amounts of sugary goodness.....and trust me, I did just that. Mmmmm....Cake.....

And as an end result of partying like a rock star.....Here's Savy peaced out on the couch after her four- day- long birthday shindig. I guess some people just aren't cut out for that "rock star" lifestyle....thank heavens.

And finally, to my Savannah: I love you dear daughter. I love you more and more each day. I love you more than you know. Thank you for making me laugh, for being so sweet, for being my helper, and for keeping me on my toes. Each day is an adventure with you and I love every minute of it! I hope you had a spectacular FOURTH birthday.

Love,
Mom

Blog Diarrhea

2008-09-30T13:34:00.004-06:00

Go ahead, grab your Immodium and some toilet paper.....I've got a case of the blogging "runs" and it may not be pretty.....You never know what's going to come out of my head and find it's way into this post..... It should make for a grand adventure.....

**So Savannah says to me today, "Mom, I'm glad you're so pretty.....and that you clean.....and that you're not a nakey Mom."
Savannah, thank you for thinking that I'm pretty and I do like to think of myself as a pretty "clean" person. Also, I'm glad I'm not a "nakey" Mom, either. 'Cause if I were naked, it definitely would not be pretty, and cleaning.....well, you can just count that right out. (Can you just picture naked vaccumming......EWWWW.)

**In my futile attempt to lose X amount of weight and to just generally maker healthier choices, I am drinking a TON of water. (They say you should drink half your weight in ounces of water daily.) I found that this is posing a HUGE problem whenever I want to go anywhere. (Do you know how many times a day you have to use the "potty" when you drink that much water??? And how frequently.) Today I decided to run out to the party store to buy stuff for Savy's birthday party. I was in the car 20 minutes, 20 MINUTES PEOPLE, and there was a moment where I thought I was going to have to pull off the side of the road, put on one of B's diapers, and well, use your imagination for the rest. ( Does this seem extreme, and just plain perverted? Yes, it does, but I want you to keep in mind that two people I dearly love did this very thing.....stuck in the middle of a traffic jam. When you gotta go, you gotta go.....and no, I'm not naming any names, so don't ask.) Then, when I got to the party store, wouldn't you know that there was someone in the woman's bathroom, so what do you think I did??? Headed straight into the men's, of course. (A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.) Plus, really, how many men do you think would be shopping at the party store at 12:30 on a Tuesday afternoon? Right. None. Now, I am feeling like an invalid, stuck in her house all day, 'cause her bladder, (which is the size of a pea), will not let her make even small outings possible. Why do I do this to myself????

** To all the parents of the children Savy invited to her party,
It was purely HER idea to buy the whoopie cushions and "really loud whistles" (a direct quote from her.) I am sorry if you don't agree, but hey, don't yell at me when your child comes home making all sorts of "fun" noises.....blame the 4 year old. (By the way, for those of you who know my dear little Savannah, would you have expected her to pick anything less? I think not.)

**And on this sad day in history, our dear Braden has finally grasped the concept of the Yes/No thing. (Previously he just answered "No" to everything, which did not pose a problem as we all became fluent in deciphering what really meant "Yes" by his tone.) This morning, he was lying in bed with me, and I asked him if he wanted to go and get breakfast. He looked right at me, and said "Yeah." Gasp. Daggers through my heart. I knew this day was coming, but really, why do your kids have to grow up???

**We just got home from spending the weekend in fabulous St. George and I have spent the last couple days figuring out how I can quit my job, move my family to St. George, and do absolutely nothing but swim, eat, sleep, relax, read, eat and swim. We, of course, had a dandy time doing just that. We swam until we were in a swimming coma, ate until we were ready to burst, and just had a great time together as a family. (Can't wait until Thanksgiving when we can do it all again.) If you notice the lack of pictures for said event, it is because I forgot my camera. But how can you forget your camera, you might ask? Aren't you a scrapbooker? Aren't you the self-dubbed "family historian." Well, I'll tell you how you can forget your camera: It's called "save-packing-for-the-last-minute-because-you're-still-doing-laundry-and-cleaning-your-house-plus-when-you-pack-for-five-people-you-tend-to-lose-you're-ever-lovin'-mind!" That's how you can forget your camera!

**In my futile attempts to watch more T.V, I will do just that. Watch. More. T.V. I love Premiere time. I've got my DVR working over time, Baby, and I love it! All my favorite shows back on the air.....what more could a girl ask for? ( Except a vacation.... and a new wardrobe.....renovations on my house...... and miraculous weight loss of X pounds, without having to do anything but watch T.V......a trip to the spa....and a "hot" mirror for every room in my house. And if I were the President, I would give every woman in the U.S those very things.)

Hope you enjoyed the diarrhea. Did I say it was going to be pretty?? No. But I hope it was worth it. Now, off to the "potty" I go.

PEACE OUT!

Candy Cane Jar

2008-09-25T09:05:00.005-06:00

I'm royally screwed....that's all I can say. Because I told one {teeny} little white lie, I am in a heap of trouble. Let me tell you how it started:

My darling Savy celebrates her 4th birthday on October 4th. (That's a golden birthday, for those of you who don't know.....when you turn the age that your birthday is on.) We have been excited for many a month now......okay well, mainly Savannah has been excited. So, after much debate about what to buy the dear girl for her "golden" day, I decided on this little ditty:

After all, the girl loves dolls. And there are not many things more cute than this bitty baby from American girl. Plus, since it's her birthday and all, I bought this very special birthday outfit.

Now let's not even discuss the amount of shipping that I had to pay in order to insure that the doll arrived in time for her b-day. (Let's just say that I could have purchased a small island in the south pacific for what I paid.) Okay, fast forward a few days. The said package arrives on porch. Of course Savannah happens to be home.....just my luck. (They never come when the children are actually at school. )She asks what the package is. Now here is the crucial moment. I could have just told her that it was for her dad and left it at that. Instead I decide to tell her the truth. "Well honey, this is a package that mom ordered for your birthday. It has your present inside." (instantly regretting my honesty.) Her eyes light up, and not expecting anything less, she asks "What is it?" "Mommy can't tell you that, Savy, then you would know what you're getting for your birthday. You don't want to know what your present is beforehand, do you?"

But, of course, she persists.....with he persistence of a 3, almost 4 year old.....which is pretty persistent, if you know what I mean. I finally crack: "Well Savy, inside this box is your very own jar of........(and in a split second, in my mind, that is what I said to myself.......you can't really tell her what her present is. You'll have to tell her something that is totally unbelievable so she will know you are just kidding.....say "jar of spiders" no.....don't say jar of spiders.....that's too traumatizing......what mother buys a jar of spiders for her daughters "golden birthday".....say jar of......) Um, a jar of candy canes. (What???? I just said jar of candy canes???? Jar. of. Candy. Canes. Where the heck did I just pull that from????)

I cannot even describe to you the joy that was on her face. It was like "a jar of candy canes just for me? I couldn't ask for anything better" sort of look. And then later, I caught her telling two of her friends that her mom bought her a candy cane jar for her birthday. And when Kylie got home from school, Savannah went right to her and whispered her a secret. When I asked what the secret was, Kylie, with a very puzzled look on her face said, "She says she's getting a candy cane jar for her birthday."

Oh what a tangled web we weave.......now, when I ask Savy what she wants for her birthday, the answer is no longer a baby doll......it is a DANG Candy Cane jar. Does she know how much I just spent on that doll.....does she know that a candy cane jar will do nothing more than rot your teeth out of your head......does she know that her mother lied to her, and when she opens her presents up on that special day and there is nary a candy cane jar in sight, will it forever scar her????? What should I do people? Should I just hope that the excitement over the new baby doll will overpower the desire for the dang candy cane jar? Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I Googled it to see if it even existed and I came up with this glorious little jewel:

And there you have it folks......a freakin' CANDY CANE JAR!

For only $1.52 + shipping. A bargain if you ask me.

And also, who in their right mind buys this sort of thing anyway....just wonderin'?

Saturday was a SPECIAL day.....

2008-09-23T19:43:00.007-06:00

But why? You may find yourself asking. Isn't Saturday merely the day you get ready for Sunday? Oh no, my friends. Saturday is the day I got to babysit my brand new nephew for the very first time. ( I have Nana to thank for this. She is obviously number 1 on the list, but she up and headed off to Spain for two weeks, so I guess that left li'l old me. Well guess what, I'd take Will over Spain any day!) I am pleased to know that I am numero dos on the list. Okay, I actually don't believe that is for certain, but I probably owe Dave and Aubree the most free babysitting. ('Cause I have to catch up for the nine years that they babysat for moi. I have A LOT more free babysitting to do, if you catch my drift. )Plus, not to offend any of Will's other Aunt's who might be reading this post, but I secretly believe I am the favorite aunt. Sorry guys. Will whispered it to me when I was watching him. Too bad.

We were way excited to have him over to our humble abode. All the kids were beyond thrilled to have a baby in the house again.....which, quite frankly, opened up the whole "Mom, why don't you have another baby?" can of worms. I asked Lew if he wanted to adopt a cousin for Will, but he was not too sure about that. I guess we will just have to get our baby fix by watching him whenever we can. The kids gave Will the "grand tour" of the house.....and it was grand. They showed him their bedrooms, Mom and Dad's bedroom, the bathroom.....you know, all sorts of things that an 8 week old is interested in seeing. They were jumping around with pure excitement and only jumped on Will a couple of times. (JUST KIDDING Dave and Aubs....I just wanted to make sure that you were paying attention.) He was such a good boy.....you should be proud of yourselves for training him to be such a good baby. (Gosh, that sounds like I'm talking about a pet or something....but you get my drift.)

We were sad to see him go. He was sad to go. You know how I know this? Because I snapped this picture as his Dad was picking him up to put him in his car seat and take him away from us. Poor Will. Bring him back to us soon.....we miss him already!!

P.S Dave and Aubree....thanks for the AWESOME cupcakes that you brought me from your trip to the Spa......yeah, I totally ate both of them.....no regrets. They were amazing! I bet ya'll wish you coulda had one of these babies......PURE HEAVEN. I may go back tomorrow to get two more. Don't judge me.

Hot Mirror

2008-09-19T16:46:00.002-06:00

There is a phenomenon in my house known as the "hot mirror." Let me break it down for you....and I know all you ladies know what I'm talking about. There are certain mirrors that one comes across that are more flattering than other mirrors. As a person of the female persuasion, I happen to know where these mirrors exist. (For example, the Provo Towne Center downstairs public bathrooms have great mirrors....very flattering. However, do not go into American Eagle (in the same mall) and expect that you will even look like the same person. Those mirrors are of the devil.) Well, I, Florrie I. Nuttall, have my very own mirror of wonder in my humble abode. I have deemed it the "hot mirror" because I look totally hot every time I look in this mirror. My thighs look skinnier, my hair looks better, my face looks younger, heck, even my hoo-haas look bigger......not that I really need the latter, but still, you get my drift. This "hot mirror" is not to be confused with "skinny mirror" which is downstairs in my basement. I visit "skinny mirror" periodically when I am exercising downstairs, and while I appreciate "skinny mirror" for it's ability to make me look 20 pounds lighter, it does not have the self-esteem booster that "hot mirror" has. The only problem with "hot mirror" is that exists inside my curio cabinet. So, in order to get a view of the goods, one has to crouch past various knick-knack paddy wacks, and bob and weave to get a clear view. But, in my mind, TOTALLY worth it. I mean, to come across a "hot mirror" is a once in a lifetime opportunity.....and I feel it is a gift to own one of these priceless jewels in my very own home.

And now, off to check in "hot mirror" to see how I look for my date with my hubby tonight. My prediction??? I'll bet I'll look totally HOT.

Old

2008-09-16T21:08:00.003-06:00

I'm not that old, am I? No wait....don't really answer that question. I know in a few months I'll be turning the terrifying age of.....well, I guess I don't really have to announce that, do I? But still....I don't think of myself as being much older than 20. Well tonight I got a reality check. Dear, dear Zachary was telling me about the story that he read at school. It involved kids going to school in the "old-fashioned" days.....you know, the days of little house on the prairie when all the grades (K-12) were in one school room. He then proceeds to ask me if it was like that when I was a little girl????

WTF. How old does the kid think I am??? Sigh. I guess I should get some more sleep at night because these bags under my eyes are making my son think that I was born sometime in the 20th century! Jeesh.....just what the heck are they teaching kids in school nowadays???

Dear Zachary,

Insulting your mother will get you nothing more than a trip to bed early.....without ice cream.....and more chores tomorrow.....like scrubbing my kitchen floor.....so just watch it buster!

Love, Mom

Shoes

2008-09-11T08:43:00.003-06:00

Oh Kylie. Always and forever will you be my little fashionista.

This morning Kylie and I had a debate....a shoe debate, if you will.

She wanted to wear her little, cute, wedge heel, strappy, white sandals.

They are/were usually reserved for church wear.

She thought they would look just "darling" with her outfit that she was wearing.

She was right.

They did.

Me, the ever-practical mother, worried about her little tootsies in said shoes for 8 hours.

She didn't.

"I'll be fine, Mom," she tells me.

"But what if you want to run, jump and play at recess? Can you do those things in those shoes?"

"Oh Mom, (soundly freakishly like a 13 year old, instead of a 7 year old) I hardly ever run around.....and jump roping, well, I never do that anymore."

So, after much debating back and forth....she won.

"She'll learn her lesson after 8 hours, " I thought.

"She'll see that good old mom was right after all."

And while I was doing her hair, she mused:

"I just like those shoes so much because they're....cute.

It's too bad that they don't make cute shoes more comfortable.

But that's okay.....I still want to wear them because they're so.....cute."

Oh Kylie, wise beyond your years.

May you always pick style over comfort.

But probably you won't.

Because look at me......only 30 and arguing for Pumas over cute, strappy sandals.

Who woulda thunk.

Love me, Love my Doll

2008-09-09T19:26:00.003-06:00

There. Really. Are. No. Words.

Okay, really....there are words. I just don't know if I'm allowed to speak them....and I've never been one that's short on words. In July my sister came into town. One day we were down in my scrapbook room just chillin'. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Oh my goodness....I saw the most disturbing show the other night on BBC America....

Sister: (cutting me off) Was it called Love me, Love my Doll??

Me: Nooooo.....not quite. But that's an interesting topic. Let's come back to that. (I then proceeded to tell her about the program that I watched, that quite frankly, had NOTHING to do with dolls of any sort.)

And then after that, we most certainly discussed. There is a lot to talk about when you are discussing a program with a title like "Love me, Love my doll."

I have watched and watched for the program to be rebroadcasted. Well, this past Sunday, good old Sis called all the way from Ohio and told me to tune in. And tune in I did......can you just say scarred for life?

I have never watched something so creepy and horrific in my life. The premise? A documentary (this means "true" people!) about adult men and their (ahem) life like dolls. I am crappin' you not. These men pay roughly $10,000 for each one of these dolls....and one perv had 8 of them. I would like to say to him..... well, I don't think I can say out loud what I would like to say to him. Lewis and I could hardly believe our eyes. It felt cheap. It felt dirty. It felt like watching a horrific train wreck that you could just not turn away from. The fact that men like these exist in this world made me want to vomit.

So, if you're ever scrolling through the channels and come across this program....and if you totally want an eye opening experience into the world of "real" dolls.....and if you want to be haunted for the rest of your life....then maybe, just maybe, you'll watch it.

Or not.

P.S I did want to save it to my DVR so that any of my curious peeps who wanted to pop over and watch it could, but then I realized that my children might tune into it in the wee hours of the morning when I am too lazy to get my butt out of bed....and that would be a nightmare! Not to mention, would open up a whole can of worms that shan't be opened up for a very long time....if you get my drift. So, delete....it's gone. Sorry.

School's In....free time here I come, baby!

2008-09-08T15:12:00.003-06:00

So, I am long overdue in writing this post. For my oldest two kids, school has been in session for a few weeks now. Other than the fact that I am a severe slacker in the blogging business lately, I have been waiting until Savy started pre-school so that I could do one post all together. Well, alas, that day has come....and gone. But, better late than never. Lately, my house has been very quiet. With three kids gone to school on {most} days, I am starting to get a glimpse into my future and it looks GLORIOUS (and I'm not gonna lie, slightly terrifying as well.) One kid is so much easier (and quieter..... unless you have a child like Braden) than four, but it is also so lonely. Today I went out and ran errands, just B and I, and I hardly knew what to do with myself. Oh yeah.......now I remember what I did with myself. I totally put Braden in the wrong car seat (Savy's to be precise), didn't strap him in, and started driving down the road to get on the freeway. After glancing back to talk to him a couple of times, my brain suddenly said, "something is not quite right about this." Braden was just sitting there, as cute as can be, as free as the wind.....oh my......and I have four kids????? Sometimes I can't take care of just one. Sometimes I wonder what I'll do with myself when all of my kids are in school. (This is the point where Lewis tells me that online shopping is not a career.) I guess we will just cross that bridge when we come to it. And if you see me out and about with my ONE child in tow, please remind me that shopping is not the only thing I could/should be doing with my free time and that it is the law to buckle your children up! Until then: enjoy some cute pics of the kiddos first day of school....even if they are a little late!

Zachary and Kylie on their first day of school. Zach is in the 4th grade (yowza...am I really that old), and Kylie started the 2nd grade. Aren't they too dang cute.

My sweet Savy showing off her new school bag.

Savy's first day of school was so exciting for her. She looked forward to it all summer long, but the closer it got, the more nervous she got. I was prepping myself not to have a breakdown when I dropped her off ( I am a self proclaimed BABY), and I was totally being strong until I looked down and saw her lower lip trembling. I had to hurry and run out of the teacher's house, get into my car, and cry my ever-lovin' eyes out. I can't believe how old she is....all grown up. SIGH.

Stronger

2008-08-28T22:44:00.005-06:00

To quote one of my homies, Kanye West, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." (Okay, Okay all you smarties out there. I know that Kanye didn't pen the quote. That happened to be Frederich Nietzsche....Oh, and just so you know, I had to google that. I'm really not a brilliant quotition (I'm not even sure if this is a word. I may have just made it up.) Anyway, I just wanted to express my gangsta side....'Fo Shizzle. But this is not even the point. The point is this......It has been a long and, dare I say, exhausting summer. And to end this glorious season, my husband took a little trip to the operating room to have the screw removed in his foot.....because what's better than getting screwed???? Why, getting un-screwed, of course! So, for all my fellow bloggee's.....

A RECAP.

116 is the number of days that Lewis spend in a hard cast....or walking boot....or walking shoe....or any combination thereof. It is also the number of days that I spent praying to be put out of my misery....and Lewis probably spent praying for the exact same thing.

6 is the number of pillows that Lewis propped his foot up on for the first week after surgery. After sharing my bed with a vast array of pillows.....I'd say it was about 5 too many.

115 is the amount of cherry limeades that I consumed. I had one a day.....every day.....but the first day when I was weeping silently in my room and hoping that it would all be over soon.

60 is the amount of ice creams, or shakes, or some form of frozen, delicious goodness that was consumed. What can I say? I'm a sympathy eater.

10 is the amount of pounds I have gained since this whole D thing started!

14 is the number of times Lewis mowed the lawn in his cast....or boot....or shoe....because he cares so much about our beautiful lawn. I love that he's like that.

0 is the number of times that I mowed the lawn. I don't do lawns. I'm just like that.

6 is the number of times I weeded my yard and hated every stinkin' minute of it. It was then that I found out that I don't do weeding either.

27 is the number of times that I muttered under my breath "go put your own *bleepin'* gym clothes in your gym bag. "

27 is also the number of times that I apologized for being such a bitty.

14 is the number of baths that I helped Lewis with......and quite frankly, giving baths is WAY overrated.

1 is the number of Sunday's my husband missed throughout this whole ordeal. If it had been me, I may have not gone to church for the whole 4 months. This is another thing that makes my husband so great.

80 is the number of times Lewis asked me to rub his foot.....or put lotion on his "dry" foot....or both.

25 is the amount of times that I actually did it.......I'm a horrible wife, I know.

So, It's all said and done. No more cherry limeades.... or ice creams......or lotion on feet....baths.....or pillow propping.....no more casts/boots/awesome walking shoes......an end of an era, if you will.......and one that I gladly hope to not visit for a very, very long time! And just think, we're both not dead.....we're STRONGER!

Stay tuned for pictures of the burning of the boots.....I'm totally serious. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it big. I can't wait!

LMN

2008-08-05T13:21:00.006-06:00

I have a confession.....it started out rather innocently, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's turning into something bigger. The other day I was running on my treadmill and flipping through the channels for something mindless to watch while I ran away the miles, when I came across channel 109. Hmmm....that's funny, I thought to myself, I never remember having the Lifetime Movie Channel. So I tuned in.....and was hooked before I knew it. The miles just flew by, because after all, watching a movie about (an abused wife who leaves, after years of abuse, with her child only to start a new life, remarry, and then have her abusive husband reappear back in her life) can be quite intriguing, in a "train-wreck of a movie" sort-of way. It was quite a mindless way to spend an hour......and five or six miles. So, before I knew it I was DVRing all sorts of movies. Movies with titles like, " Wife, Mother, Murderer" and "Sleeping with the Devil." I then slowly realized that I was becoming like my mother.....not in a negative way, mind you. After all, my mother is a saint.....that being said, she MIGHT just have a slight addiction to the LMN. Nary a Sunday goes by that we don't go over to her house for dinner and during her preparations she is tuned in to one of those fine pieces of movie. (Shhh.....she may have a bigger problem than I do....I LOVE you mom.) And then I recalled the time that Lewis and I got drawn into a Lifetime Original movie, and got hooked from the get go. We decided to record the remainder of it because we were both falling asleep, and the next morning I caught Lewis watching it "just to see how it ended. " Oh LMN....no one is immune to your powers! But the more I write this, and think about it, and continue to watch movies while I run, I am struck by these questions: Do I really want to live in a world where surrogate mothers steal your husband, and your baby, while the wife goes crazy and starts killing everyone? Do I really want to live in a world where your next door neighbors might kidnap your three children and take them out of state because they think that you are an unfit mother? Do I really want to live in a world where your best friend seduces your father and then kills your mother?........I'm just sayin'........

Feminine Hygeine products???? OH MY.

2008-07-23T15:40:00.005-06:00

Let me paint a picture for you. Me and my four lovely kids are out running errands. One of them happens to be to Toys-R-Us. (I know, I know....the very thought of it makes me want to lose my mind too.) BUT, it is a necessary evil. There is a toy that Zach got for his birthday (um....like three weeks ago) that I MUST return. I say must because if it sits on my kitchen counter for one more day, my husband might likely lose his ever lovin' mind. So, I deem today errand day. It is not pleasant, it is not fun, but it has got to be done. I am dragging my kiddos all over the town and, quite frankly, none of us are having the grandest time. They are excited for a trip to the old toy store because places like the bank just aren't doing it for them. I am praying that I will be able to get my four little natives out of that evil store in less than an hour. Things are going pretty smoothly. I exchange the present, pick up a couple of doll strollers and am letting Zach look at the nintendo DS games when I smell it. C'mon Moms, you know what I'm talking about......that unmistakable smell of a child who has gone off to the corner and dropped a load in his pants. I look around for the culprit. AHA! There he is, and wouldn't you know it, the kid just happens to be mine. I send my oldest two out to the car to get the diaper bag. (I know, I am never prepared, but then again, I'm not a boy scout.) They quickly return to the store, but WITHOUT the baby wipes. I have got to do something, and QUICK! Braden is stinking up the store so bad that they just might condemn it. No time for nonsense. I whisk him off to the bathroom with plans to improvise. And here's where the comedy happens......

I drag all four children into the bathroom. (And yes, this includes my NINE year old son. I have heard too many horror stories of children going to the bathroom alone, and I just refuse to have that happen to anyone that I love. Not if I can help it. So I have become THAT mom. The one that takes her pre-pubescent son into the ladies room. OH WELL......better safe than sorry.) Anyway, back to the story. I lay B on the changing table and proceed to wet aprox. 20 paper towels with water so that I can properly clean my child's poopy hind end. By the way, this is not going exactly as planned. Has anyone ever tried to clean a poopy bum with wet paper towels??? I guess there is a reason that baby wipes were invented.....those lovely little things. Several rolls of paper towels later (okay, that may be a mild exaggeration), I am washing the poop off my hands (I never said this story wasn't going to make you dry heave), when my darling Kylie asks this question "Mom, what's a Tampon? (only she pronounces it Tampone, like rhymes with snow cone.) She is staring straight at the dispenser that distributes those "special" feminine hygiene products. I am flustered, I am weary, I am washing human feces off my hands for crying out loud! So, I respond with a little, bitty, teeny, weenie, eensey white lie. "Uh......a tampone is a kind of medicine." YES. Slam dunk. A totally believable story. And don't judge. I don't make it a practice to lie to my children, I just wasn't going to have "that talk" with my kids in a bathroom in Toys-R-freakin'-Us. I thought I was home free. And then, as we are passing the men's bathroom Zach decides to peek his smart little head in to see if the little boys room has that Tampone medicine as well......."But Mom, why doesn't the men's room have a Tampone medicine machine"......

Hey look kids. There's Santa Claus! End of Story.

New Addition

2008-07-21T11:50:00.003-06:00

I have lost my summer nanny......and I couldn't be HAPPIER! (I think my new nephew is an even trade off.) Aubree, Dave, you two will be the BEST parents ever! Congratulations on your new arrival. We can't wait to hold him in our arms and will be anxiously awaiting his arrival here in Utah. We love him so much already. Give him a kiss from his Aunt, Uncle, and four new little cousins! See you soon.

Aubree, Dave and baby Will

P.S I may have lost my nanny, but I have gained another "mommy" in my circle. I can't wait to do things with you and your brand new addition. Let's live it up girl!

For further reading, check out Dave and Aubree's blog. Just click on their link.

2008-07-17T07:53:00.001-06:00

Busy, Busy,Busy = Very Bad Blogger

2008-07-16T15:05:00.016-06:00

I know. I know. Lately I have been slacking on my blogging duties. I think I have bloggers block. Either that, or I'm just too lazy to write about anything that we have done. July has been a fun-filled month packed with parties, eating, day trips to get my kiddos out of the house, more eating, more parties, holidays.....etc, etc. I think I should be nominated mother of the year. Either that, or worst mother ever. It changes from day to day. Anyway, A LOT has happened this month. I have created a picture collage of some of the highlights of the month. Think of it as my own little present to all of you. I would not, could not, bore you with the hundreds of pictures that I have taken this month. And after all, the best things do come in small packages.......

Some of the highlights of our month so far:

*The Fourth of July. Lewis and I's favorite holiday. As one friend of mine told another friend, "You will not see the Nuttall's at all on July 4th. It is like their Christmas." Oh, truer words have never been spoken. We rise and shine at 5:00 a.m to go and see the balloons and don't plop our tired, bloated, exhausted booties in bed until 11:30 p.m. The day is filled with eating, swimming, parties, barbeque's, fireworks, cherry limeades, games, and just good clean fun. This year Zach and I rocked it on the three legged race and took first place fair and square! I even had the bruises to prove it. He who will not be named robbed me of my title as "Queen Bubble Blower", and was disqualified. Swimming at Craig and Chaunte's for 5 hours was an awesome way to spend the afternoon. May they always be the hosts for the family party!

*Me and my summer Nanny (okay, it's really just my sister-in-law Aubree. But doesn't Nanny sound so much better?) took a trip up to the Children's Museum to spend the afternoon. We met my other sis-in-law, Emilie (and her darling daughter Claire), and had a great day. Lunch at CPK, an afternoon with four kids completely occupied in a place that they can mess up and you don't have to clean up after them, and a treat at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. Really, it doesn't get much better than that.

*Lewis' summer work party at Thanksgiving point. We went to the Dino Museum, saw a 3D movie (Who is loving those glasses BTW??? Lewis thinks they are not too far of a departure from some of the glasses that I normally wear. I think he is up in the night.), went to the Discovery Garden's, the kids climbed a rock wall and had more fun falling off the wall than actually climbing it, ate dinner, watched a firework show that was better than the Stadium of Fire's, and collapsed in our beds after an exhausting day. Thanks to Xactware for planning such a fun day.

*My oldest child turned 9 on the 6th, and 10 days later my youngest turned two! Happy birthday to my two sons. I cannot believe how time flies! And now I refuse to let you two get any older. Does anyone have a magic potion that will stop children from growing up????

And there you have it. My July in a nutshell.....in the nuthouse.....where every day is a party! (OOOH, that should be my new slogan! I love it!)

Words of Wisdom

2008-07-02T07:21:00.003-06:00

Yeah......What he said.

Camping......Nuttall Style

2008-07-01T15:41:00.008-06:00

This past weekend we got together with Lewis' side of the family for an old fashioned camp out.....kind of.....You see {most} of us Nuttall's are not what you would call the "camping type." We are content to take our family vacations to places where there is a pool....and room service....and a maid who cleans up after you......and where there is a bounty of deep fried food that is and/or covered in sugar. (You know what I mean, Dave.) However, Lewis' brother Todd had the great idea to do a camp out in Lewis' parents back yard. Hmmm.....let me think about that one for just a second, okay done. Running water: check. Bathrooms: check. Soft grass to pitch a tent on: check. Deep fried fatty, delicious food: check. The list goes on and on. We gathered together for a great night out and had a FABULOUS time! Here are some of the things that I learned while "roughing" it.

1. Sonic has nothing on homemade cherry limeades. In fact, Sonic can take a long walk off a short pier.....we don't need you anymore to create deliciously refreshing drinks. In fact, I think that Lewis makes them better. So there.

2. To he who will not be named: Seriously, do you have such a big problem crapping in your pants that you find it necessary to bring not 1, not 2, but 3 extra pairs of underwear Just in case. Did you forget that we were camping in your parents back yard.....with a washing machine readily accessible or a dad who could lend you a pair, if it came down to that???? I know you've been know to shart from time to time, but really.....not necessary!

3. You can lead a horse to water......but not if you are wearing flip flops....or slippers....or no shoes at all....and pajama bottoms.....which is just plain appalling to the person who is giving you horseback rides in the first place. I guess the Nuttall's are not very well versed in "horse etiquette." OH WELL.

4. You can lead Dee to water......but not if it's around horses....Apparently he gets "S'MALLERGIES" from time to time. OH WELL. (And for all you readers out there, S'MALLERGIES is too a word. Let me use it in a sentence for you: Dee would love to go and take his son's for a horseback ride but he gets S'MALLERGIES.")

5. Watching a movie under the stars, cuddled up in blankets, is quite possibly one of the greatest things ever. Especially when your 3 year old falls asleep aprox. 2 minutes into the movie so that you don't have to listen to her never ending questions, and stay up with her all night long, because the movie would have quite possibly scared the sharts right out of her. (Hey, maybe she could have borrowed a pair of (he who must not be named) undies.....:)

6. It is so much more fun to consume 15,000 calories when everyone else is doing it too. (Seriously guys, could the food have been any better???!!!)

7. Staying up until the wee hours of the morning is only worth it when I'm with my family.

8. Next time let's quit our jobs and camp for weeks on end.....I loved it when Savy asked: "Mom, how many weeks are we staying?" I like the way this girl thinks........

9. You can add excitement to a boring, old game of BOCCE ball by chucking your ball straight at your in-laws brand new fountain, and almost wetting your pants simultaneously because you can actually see it crashing through it. (Which didn't happen, by the way......the pants wetting or the crashing into the fountain...but OH, it was a very close call on both accounts.)

10. Let's make this a yearly thing, okay? Grandpa, Nana, we give you one year to recuperate, because next year, ready or not, here we come.....

Where Admission to the fun is free....

2008-06-26T14:15:00.006-06:00

The only price, your SANITY!

I think the honeymoon is over. Summer is in full gear and the novelty of it is starting to wear thin. The children are tired, and fighting, and hot, and are eating me out of house and home and I figured it was time to do something about it. On Tuesday I decided to load them up and take them to Chuck-E-Cheese. The only other option was to drop them off at the house that I pass about 5 times a week on my way to Wal-Mart.....you know, the house where they have a table in their front yard with a sign that says "Free Stuff." Surely someone might want ONE of these four cute kids. (P.S. Lady, get off your lazy tush and take your "free stuff" to the DI. I am sick of seeing it day in and day out!) Anyway, I know that I am the best mom in the world. I will sacrifice my sanity for a trip to the Ol' cheesers! (Plus, I was able to bamboozle my dear sister-in-law to come with me. She is such a saint.....oh, and maybe just a little bit crazy as well.) And truly, no lie, I don't mind the place so much. (Lewis is pointing and laughing at me as we speak. Or at least this is what I can picture him doing in my mind. You can't blame him.....he thinks Chuck-E-Cheese is pure EVIL.) So, continuing on. I was prepped to go. I had a good attitude, a coupon for 40 free tokens, four delightfully happy children, and reinforcements in the form of my dear, dear Aubree.

We arrived there and had a FANTASTIC time. (Okay, I may be embellishing just a tad....but I wanted everyone to really think I am a great mom. Wow! Not only does she take her kids fun places, but SHE loves it as well.) We had a........time, for lack of a better word. The kids were happy. They breezed through 90+ tokens like it was butta. Zach won the jackpot on one of the games and was ridiculously happy to have won 110 tickets! Braden ran around like a crazy man, wanting to put the money in for the ride, but not actually finish the ride. And before we knew it, the moola was gone. Time to change the tickets in for weak, stupid little prizes that will break in aprox. 1.2 hours. (They have already broken BTW.) Savy, of course, wants only 10 suckers with her portion of the tickets. Zach and Kylie are not quite as easily pleased....go figure. I end up having to BUY them what they want just so we can leave.

And there you have it.....CHUCK-E-CHEESE....where admission to the fun is free. Except for when you have to buy the tokens so they can actually do things instead of standing there with their fingers up their noses.....and when you have to buy them prizes because they don't have enough tickets to actually trade for them and there is no way in "you- know- what "you want to buy more tokens so they can earn the tickets...... and it only costs you about $30 in gas money to get there in the first place......and your slightly less sane than you were before....but other than that.....TOTALLY FREE!

My secret weapon

2008-06-23T13:46:00.006-06:00

This morning (okay, it was really like mid-morning.....like 1/2 hour before lunch morning) I went into my kitchen to finally clean it. Which, by the way, what is the point really? I mean, lunch was in a half an hour and it was just going to get dirty again. I was about to talk myself out of it, and then I smelled a funky smell......my kitchen was rank.....I mean it smelled AWFUL! I finally tracked down the smell to a wet dishrag in the kitchen sink. (Just what was it doing piled under all of those dishes that I neglected to load in the dishwasher last night???? Oh the horror.) Well, this was just awful. I couldn't have my kitchen smelling like a dump. I promptly pulled out the offensive rag and tossed it straightaway in the garbage can. Now time to do something about this smell......I pulled out my secret weapon.....

But let me back track a little......a few months ago I was shopping in the hellish isles of Wal-mart. I was pondering over the cleaning supplies when I noticed a lowly little bottle of this stuff:

I had a flashback to my childhood. My mom used to clean with this stuff all the time (that and ammonia, which I'm sure was just awesome for the health of our lungs) and I always remember that when we got done cleaning the house just smelled so.....clean. So among all the new fangled products like Clorox wipes, and swiffer wet jet mops, and Windex wipes and pledge wipes and every kind of antibacterial cleaning product imaginable sat this little dandy. I decided to pick up a bottle. I mean, not to clean with, mind you. No, I would much prefer the newer, easier- to- use stuff. I picked up a bottle of this bad boy to make my house smell clean. (Which you must admit, pine sol does. Sure, it may conjure up images of hospitals and mental institutions, but still...it smells clean.

So, I took it home and used it every time I cleaned my house. Again, not to clean, but just to make it smell clean. I would scrub my kitchen sink and then run the hot water again, add pine sol and just let it soak....the smell would permeate the house. I would also do this with my bathroom sinks, toilets, bathtubs.....you get the idea. And no fail, whenever someone walked into my house, just by the smell alone, they would say, "Oh, your house is so clean." This is when I got my GREAT idea. I don't have to actually clean the house, for the house to appear clean.... Let me break it down for you: a little surface cleaning, (ie vacuuming, dusting, things picked up) and a little pine sol soaking in the sink and you have an immaculately cleaned house. I started to use this trick to my advantage.

"Oh, hello visiting teachers, what's that? You want to drop by in 15 minutes? No problem."

"Yes Lewis, I have been cleaning my house all day instead of sitting outside on my neighbor's porch like a porch monkey watching my kids play in the road."

And let's not even discuss the time that 50 of the Relief Society sisters had a progressive dinner at my house during the holiday Season!!!

Pine sol has become my new best friend.....and my secret weapon.

So, if you are ever in my home and you smell that "powerful scent of clean" well, you'll never know if I really cleaned my house, or if I just employed my secret weapon! But please, don't look too closely at my baseboards...that's all I ask of you.

Oh, and yes, my kitchen does smell lovely now.....Thanks pine sol!

Dear Coach,

2008-06-18T14:19:00.004-06:00

I hate your stinkin' guts......you are the scum beneath my toes......Because of you I cannot walk today. Or lift my kids up. Or bend down to sweep the crumbs up off my kitchen floor. Or pull my pants down to use the bathroom. And all I want to do is sit on the couch and eat donuts.Last night was HARD. You pushed me in ways that I never thought I could be pushed before. When you said "give me one more" and then made me give you eight more, I wanted to sock you in your face! My arms feel like rubber and my legs feel like Jell-O. You are one tough cookie! And yet, I want to thank you. Thank you for taking the time to come and kick my butt! Thank you for spotting me when I thought I could not lift one more rep. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope that one day I can be just like you (only with more feminine muscles and less chest hair.) And just remember how tough I really am. After all, I ran a marathon......what did you do????? Oh yeah, well riding your bike 350 miles can't be that hard, can it? Thanks Coach, See you tomorrow.....unless I go MIA!

Love, Eileen

P.S I told you I was going to use this picture.....don't be embarassed....you're freakin' buff!

Cheer Camp 2008

2008-06-17T13:56:00.003-06:00

Rah Rah Ree,

Kick 'em in the knee

Rah Rah Rass

What a pain in my....other knee!

I have finally just recovered my from 7 days of cheer camp. (And no, it wasn't cheer camp for me, it was for my two cute girlies.) I don't know what I was thinking signing them up for this! Oh yeah, now I know what I was thinking. I was thinking that this year it might not be a pain in the rear. Boy, was I ever wrong.

I signed up Kylie last year, with minimal fuss. I don't seem to remember it being such an ordeal. Well, this year took the cake. It may have been because I had two daughters involved this year. (One of them being a stubborn three year old, who would not dance to save her life.....hmmm, maybe she got her mother's dancing skills..) I felt like I was in purgatory every time I stepped into that high school gymnasium. Picture this: Christina Aguilera playing on the radio;7 year old girls shaking their booties; my little Savy running around, not dancing, interrupting all the other 3 year olds that actually were dancing; Braden running around interrupting all the girls that were dancing; me pulling my hair out! I swear, I had to bribe Savy every day just to go and do her dance. "Savy, mommy will buy you a grab bag if you do your dance.... Mommy will buy you a pony if you do your dance..... Mommy will buy you a small island in the Caribbean if you do your dance......" Still, none of it seemed to work.

I was praying that the night of the performance all of those (15 year old cheerleader) teaching skills would pay off, and Savannah would actually get out there and DANCE. And low and behold.....she DID! (Kinda). And just like that......it was over. My season in Purgatory had ended. Now will someone please remind me not to do this next year! (For Savy anyway!) Kylie was a dancing champ....like always.

At least I got some cute pictures from it!

What the Crap! (Literally)

2008-06-15T13:32:00.004-06:00

I just had a harrowing and grisly experience. Let me relate it to you. I went into the kitchen to start prep on my dinner that I'm making for the (Dad's in my life) tonight. I pulled out the shrimp and studied the package. Something looked different.....what's this? Headless shell on shrimp......Are you kidding me???? I bought the wrong kind of shrimp. Now I have to pull the skin off all these little suckers.....Oh well......I can do this. And then: I realize something else. These shrimp are not DE VEINED! Oh my gosh. Now I am ready to swear. I mean really swear. For all you shrimp lover's out there, and even for all you haters too, let me break it down for you. Down the top and bottom of the shrimp runs a blackish looking "vein", only this is a clever misnomer to make people feel more secure. Folks, for those of you who don't know, or even realize this, the "vein" is really their digestive tract. So, in essence, when you are scraping this little sucker out, you are really cleaning out all the poop that is in the shrimp. Lovely huh?

Well, I gird up my loins....I mean REALLY gird up my loins. I have to do this right? I can't just chuck 2 pounds of shrimp in the garbage and serve chicken instead......as much as I might want to. And what's a little shrimp poop anyway? Let me tell you, a little shrimp poop is not all it's cracked up to be. Not more than halfway into the process I am mentally cursing my poor shopping skills. I am also discovering that not all shrimp are created equal.....nor do they poo equal. Every time I come across a shrimp with a "clean" digestive tract, I praise them in my mind. ("Good shrimp. Way to not eat anything before you died a terrible death. I appreciate your will power. I thank you. My family thanks you." ) THEN there are those other shrimp, the ones that ate, I swear, like a midget or something! ("Oh you dang shrimp! How dare you be so gluttonous. Don't you have any will power whatsoever! What the HE$$ did you eat anyway?"....and gagging and dry heaving ensue).

But needless to say, I did it! (Yay me). I cleaned those little suckers so dang good there was not a poop in sight......and then I looked around my kitchen. Holy Crap! Literally. My kitchen counter looked like an outhouse for shrimp. There was poop and veins and shells and legs and I'll spare you anymore details.....cause I've given you enough already. I quickly cleaned up the "poop scene" and got rid of all the evidence. For you see, tonight I have to serve this lovely dinner....and If I ain't eatin' the shrimp kabobs.....well I guess you know why.

*Disclaimer: For all those those family members who must partake of this fine dinner, please trust me. I did clean those little suckers.....I Promise!

Praises

2008-06-13T08:26:00.002-06:00

Glory Glory Hallelujah! Praises Be. Gimpy is off his crutches.......

If you need me you can find me in bed....eating ice cream.....and drinking cherry limeades.....and reading my book......and watching TV.......and taking a nap......for about three days.......Thank you.

It's Baaaack.....

2008-06-12T13:33:00.002-06:00

Well, it's that time of year again, ART CITY DAYS. Last night on the way home I decided to indulge my kids and drive them past the carney just for fun. Sitting there are the stop light and watching all the happenings, I was totally reminiscing about back in the day when my Dad used to pay me NOT to go to the carnival. That's right folks......while all the other kids in the world were greedily gobbling down corn dogs and lining up to go on the Ferris wheel, I was getting $20 or $30 bucks to stay home. Well....not stay home exactly. I was such a good kid (really it's true) that I didn't take my money that my Dad gave me, head off to the carnival despite his best wishes and blow it on cheap food and rides. NO, I went and got a scone, parked across the street and people watched all the FREAKS that were around. So that's really not breaking the rules, right? I mean, I stayed in the car the whole time......

Anyway, driving past yesterday with my kids in the car, I watched as they longingly stared out the windows wishing that they were in attendance. And BRIEFLY, against my better judgement, I almost threw all caution to the wind, pulled the car over right then and there, and dragged them around the amusements. Then I realized: This is the carnival you IDIOT. This is where for one half of a week every June all the scum of the earth come out of the wood works.....where some guy named Chester is running the tilt-a-whirl, and with all of the six teeth in his head is leering at you AND your children.....where cops stand on the corner eating corn dogs and scones instead of patrolling the carnival grounds.....where $25 dollars MAY buy you three rides and a lemonade..... the Carney...... And then my kids said it, (with a sigh in their voice) "I wish we could go to the Carnival." And I realized that I just might be the worst mother on earth, but there was no way in Hell I was letting them go.

Now I can only look forward to the day when I have to pay them insane amounts of money just to keep them in my sight for one day longer!

Tag Schmag

2008-06-10T14:45:00.004-06:00

So I've managed to make it this far in the blogging world without being tagged. (Okay, that may be a lie-I've been tagged but have never chosen to do it before.) BUT, since I have nothing to blog about ( I know, it's a surprise to me as well) I thought I would go ahead and take the challenge. (This is for you Krisit! Thanks ALOT!) I like to sub-title this post: things-that-you-never-knew-about-me-and-probably-never-cared-about-in-the-first-place-but-I-still-hope-you-enjoy!

1.What is his name? Who's name? My husband's? My stuffed animals? My pet mouse in my pocket? Okay, let's just go with husband. His name is Lewis Richard Nuttall

2. How long have you been together? Since July of 1997! (Holy hannah that's a long time.)

3. How long did you date? 3 months dating, 3 month engagement = six months total

4. Who eats more? Eats more what? Broccoli? Me. Ice cream? Tied. Protein shakes? Lewis. In general? Lewis, but I can pack it away too.

5. Who said 'I love you' first? Lew

6. Who is taller? Have you seen my husband??? I am a midget compared to him. (And so is most of the general population.) He is a foot taller than I am.

7. Who sings better? Honestly? Neither of us. (Sorry to be dissin' on you Lew). I do sing really well in the shower though, but doesn't everyone?

8. Who is smarter? Well.....not to toot my own horn.......

9. Who does the laundry? Me again, but not very well. (Sorry babe). I am trying to be better. (Thanks for the inspiration Emilie!)

10. Who does the dishes? Mostly me, but when Lewis is not gimpy he does his fair share of helping out.

11. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Moi

12.Who pays the bills? Lewis, but sometimes secretly I wish that I did so that I could get some things past him. He sees and knows EVERYTHING! (Sometimes it ain't pretty.)

13. Who mows the lawn? Right now? Anyone that we can bribe to do it for us. (Just kidding gimpy-don't get your pants in a wad.) Gimpy and all, Lewis still manages to have the most beautiful lawn on the block. And I can honestly say that I have never mowed a lawn in my life!

14. Who cooks dinner? Me. When Lewis cooks it's called "going out for Mexican."

15. Who drives when you are together? Right now? Me again. Sir gimps-a-lot can't drive. (And he may be the worst back seat driver in the history of man.) Normally Lewis does though, and he probably would say the same about me.

16. Who is more stubborn? Oh, me, by a long shot!

17. Who kissed who first? Lewis kissed me on our SECOND DATE. Can you believe it? I think he must have mistakenly heard that I "put out" or something. :)

18. Who asked who out first? My brother asked me out FOR Lewis.

19. Who proposed? Lewis.

20. Who is more sensitive? Guilty as charged.

21. Who has more friends? Me again, but really, I don't have that many friends. (Gee, I kinda sound like a loser, don't I?)

22. Who has more siblings? Me. (3 older brothers, 1 sis.)

23. Who wears the pants in the family? No one. We don't believe in clothing. (Ooh la la)

And on that note: Je suis Finis

And I tag no one. Cause I'm like that. And I like to break chain letters too. SO THERE.

What the????

2008-06-05T14:14:00.004-06:00

Today, because I had a half an hour break in between my kids swimming lesson (and that fact that the weather was crappy), I ran to the gas station to pick up a quick treat for the kiddos (and a lovely beverage for me, of course.) I was standing in line waiting for the cashier to change the cash register tape (because that ALWAYS happens to me) and I spotted this little beauty.

Ahh yes folks....this product is actually for SALE....it's promise, well, to eliminate that pesky alcohol smell from your breath. This is a great comfort to me.....driving around the town with my four kids in tow and realizing that any schmuck who is drunk of his arse and has $4.99 to spare can "fool" that cops into believing that his is not wasted beyond belief! I am a frequenter of gas stations. I visit them all the time for various odds and ends (ahem, donuts and drinks) but have never seen such a sight in my life. I was a little taken back by it, to say the least, and then I realized AHA! I'm in Spanish Fork, of course. 'Nuff Said.

P.S Get a load of the "Police Officer." Yeah, in your dreams buddy!

The Pollyanna attitude

2008-06-03T21:06:00.007-06:00

I am going to tell you a secret about me: I am the HUGEST fan of the movie "Pollyanna" that you will ever meet. As a kid, I probably watched that show 100 times. Even still, I will watch it a couple of times a year with my kiddos and I am always trying to prompt them to watch it more. (I want them to love it as much as I do, naturally.) One of the great things that I love from the movie is her attitude of always trying to find the positive in something: whether it be people, or situations or what have you. Now, I bet your wondering how this relates to my life. Well, even growing up I would always try to have the Pollyanna "attitude." If something negative happened, I would try to turn it around and find three positive things about that situation.(Try it sometime. You'd be surprised to find that you can ALWAYS find at least one thing positive, even if it is warped and twisted to make it so.) Now, why am I telling you all this. Well, as most of you know, and most of you probably don't care, my husband had surgery on his foot back in May. This has been very hard on all parties involved (read: mainly me) and so I am going to dedicate this post to him. I am going to list the top six (because try as I may I couldn't think of any more than that) reasons why I am "glad" that my husband is a gimpy. Do you think I can do it? Well, just watch and learn.

Reason #1

My husband is actually HOME for the summer. This is not good for him, by any means. Because of his surgery, he had to cancel 2 backpacking trips, one bike trip, numerous (as in I'm unable to count because there is just too many) softball games and tournaments, golf games, ect. ect. you get the picture. He is bummed beyond belief. I am glad to have him home. Never have I been able to do so many things as last minutes notice and have him just be here to watch the kids. This should have been the summer that I trained for a Marathon. I may never have this opportunity again.

Reason #2

All the ice cream and cherry limeades you can eat. In fact, too many. We are two bad little kids who indulge WAY TOO OFTEN, and it is fantastic! Is there anything better than laying in bed, watching shows and drinking cherry limeades from Sonic? I am definitely going to need a diet before this is all over.

Reason #3

He lets me pick his clothes out. Since he does want to crutch himself to the closet every morning to pick out his clothes, he lets me do the dirty work. I love it! He hasn't let me pick out what he was going to wear since we were first married, and now he is at my disposal. Ha ha ha (insert evil laughter here.)

Reason #4

No one has driven my new car but ME!

Reason #5

Manual labor is good for me. I am a working wimp. Sure I clean my house and all, but the outside stuff, that's a man job isn't it? I have never before pulled so many weeds, picked up so much garbage, dumped so much grass, and swept so many sidewalks as I have this last month. You should have seen my tonight dragging the garbage can across the lawn because I couldn't lift it up. I felt like I was in one of those "tough man" competitions that you see on ESPN. It was quite the sight. And is is definitely making me appreciate all the hard work that he does around the yard.

Reason #6

He still WANTS to do whatever he can do. As exhibited by these pictures: he still mows the lawn and plays baseball with the kids. Of course, plenty of time is still spent laying in bed watching the baseball games, but not ALL of his time. He is trying to help out whenever and wherever he can.

So there you have it. I may complain (a lot) about the lack of help that I have this summer. I may feel like I am taking care of FIVE kids. I may call him gimpy and el gimpo and sir gimps a-lot, but the truth is I wouldn't care so much if he wasn't such a big help to me normally. I miss his help and deep down inside realize that he is probably more bummed than me that all of this ever happened in the first place! I love you BABE, even if you do have a bum foot!

Swimming with the fishies

2008-06-01T21:38:00.007-06:00

Tonight at the dinner table we had the most hilarious conversation with our three year old. And since kids say the cutest things I just had to share......After all, isn't that what this blogging business is all about.

So, over our delicious dinner (it really WAS yummy. You can ask anyone. I'm not just giving myself a pat on the back. Okay. I am.) I struck up a conversation about Lewis and I's very first trip to Hawaii. I was 10 weeks pregnant with Savy at the time, so I just casually mentioned to the kids that Savannah was the only one of our children that had been to Hawaii. Well, cute little munchkin that she is, piped up: "I was in your tummy, right mom?" "Yes, honey, you were just a baby in Mommy's tummy. You got to go swimming with Mommy." "OOH, (she's says with the cutest look on her face) was I wearing my swimming suit?"

And now I end this story with another story.... Since we're on the topic of Hawaii and swimming.... I really must love all of you to share this story with you as it was not the highlight of my life. Picture this: beautiful Maui, Hawaii. I am pregnant with my third child, and VERY morning sick. But, I decide to be a trooper anyway, and Lew and I sign up for a snorkeling trip. (Hey, when in Rome......) I am someone who gets motion sick anyway, add that to the morning sickness, and the fact that I couldn't take anything for the motion sickness because I was preggers, and you have a recipe for disaster. We took a boat ride out to the place we were going to snorkel. I got sick, but sucked it up. We got in the water and started to snorkel. I was having a lot of fun, but kept swallowing the salt water. ( I was the very NOVICE of novice snorkelers.) Finally, I had a little too much of the ocean, I gagged, and up came my breakfast. (Now let me rewind a little bit. Before you leave the boat to snorkel you are given hoards of instructions, one of them being to "under no circumstances" FEED THE FISH!) Well, you can imagine what happened. It was a feeding frenzy for those fish. I was swarmed by literally THOUSANDS of fish, all trying to eat my vomit (which is disgusting in and of itself), and I literally had the most panic filled moment of my entire life. I was scrambling and trying to swim out of there and hyperventilating and wanting to crap in my pants and couldn't reach the boat fast enough and one of the fish actually BIT MY FINGER. No lie. It was total pandemonium. And all the other snorkelers were in heaven. They could not figure out what had happened (no one saw me throw up, not even Lewis), but they were loving all the fish that had come around and assumed that someone had brought food off the boat into the water. Well, needless to say, I got back to the boat, hung my head in shame, and would NOT get off to snorkel again, not even to see the Sea turtles (I now wish I had.) I spent the rest of the trip with my head in the toilet and the knowledge that apparently I had a fear of fish. (Who knew.)

Spring Cleaning

2008-05-29T15:45:00.007-06:00

I just spent the last hour in my own private "he**." I don't know what I was thinking. Two children are taking naps, the other two occupying themselves quite nicely, and I'm scuttering around picking up the house. It's then that I notice the one thing I have been trying not to notice for, I don't know let's say, two years now. My blinds are a disgrace! They are past the point of a casual dusting, and now need to be cleaned and scoured slat by slat, one at a time. Well, I am up for the challenge. I can do this, right? I load up my trusty bucket with pine-sol and a rag and go to town. Only then does it become blatantly obvious that I have quite the project on my hands.

Wow. This is taking so long. Who knew these blinds were white? When was the last time I really washed these down? Oh yeah, that's right...before Braden was born. Yowza! Braden will be two next month. OOps. Hey, listen, I am a Mother of four! I just don't have time to sit around all day washing blinds. I am busy. I have many things to do. I hate washing blinds. This sucks.

Then, as I am standing over my kitchen sink on a stool, I am praying that I fall off and die.....okay, just fall off and break my leg, because hey, that puts an end to blind washing doesn't it? But NO, no such luck. So I continue on. I am mentally calculating how long it will take me to wash all the blinds in my house? Do I have 7 years of free time??? Why won't one of these dang kids wake up? How long do I have to keep up this manual labor? And then.......SALVATION! I glance down and notice that there is......A HOLE IN MY BUCKET! (No....I do not make this stuff up....well not *Most* of it anyway.) And that's my ticket out of there. Can't wash the blinds if I don't have a bucket. Ahhhh, crisis averted. Now if I can just keep my husband from reading this post...... He'll make me finish what I started....Oh, the horror!

School's Out

2008-05-29T13:59:00.003-06:00

No more homework, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks! Summer is here baby, and we couldn't be more excited. Things we will do this summer: play, eat otter pops (boxes and boxes of otter pops), swim, ride bikes, go to the park, lay in the grass, look at the stars, have bbq's (dozens of them), run through the sprinklers, roast marshmallows, go hiking (whoops, never mind....strike that. Unless we don't invite Sir Gimps-a-lot. :), swing, jump on the tramp, color pictures, do crafts, visit the zoo, visit the Children's Museum, go camping, go to St. George, sleep in late, read LOTS of books, go to bed late, and just plain RELAX! (Gee, I sound like the best mom in the world, don't I?)

Kylie and Zachary on the LAST day of school

Just one last thing to mention. Summer.....please be kind on this dear girl. We had a rough year last year, what, with a near drowning, scooter Olympics that led to about 50 stitches, and OH, there was that incident in Wal-Mart involving six paramedics and a split open head. Take it easy on this little one. She's a mover and a shaker, I know, I know, but watch out for her. My poor sanity cannot take anymore accidents. Thank you for your time.
Happy Summer to all!!!

Ghosty

2008-05-28T08:46:00.004-06:00

I think I have a ghost. Today, while I was taking out the garbage it turned on my garbage disposal. And when I came back in the house it was just going for no reason. PLUS, my favorite tee shirt is missing. AND, here's the clincher.....THREE hostess cupcakes are missing from my pantry. And I didn't eat them....I'm almost positive that it was not me.....oh please let it not have been me.....could I have eaten three cupcakes in one day???? Nah, it had to have been that darn ghost!

Memorial Day Weekend

2008-05-27T08:52:00.006-06:00

We just got back from our super fun, yet not really exciting, but still quite relaxing, even if the weather was pretty crappy in St. George, weekend vacation. For memorial day this year we decided to "get the heck out of dodge" so to speak and headed for the warm weather in St. George. There was just one problem: there was no warm weather in St. George. BUT, and that's a big BUT (ha ha, I crack myself up) we still managed to have a party anyway. That's just how we roll. So, I thought it might be fun to list a couple of highlights of this trip.

Highlight #1:

Do you see these two handsome guys? Do either of them look mentally insane? Not really, but looks can be deceiving.( Just kidding. I love you two.) I took this picture right after they had finished riding their bikes from SLC to St. George. (That's aprox. 350 miles for those of you who don't know.) THIS might have been the real reason we headed down South. We got to be the cheering section for these two as they finished their ride. It was amazing to be there and experience that with them. You guys are rock stars! Anyone who is crazy enough to ride their bikes that far gets a big shout out in my book. Good work Todd and Richard: We're so proud of you!

Highlight #2

SWIMMING! We love it, the kids love it, it keeps them entertained for hours at a time so that I can sit on my butt and do nothing. (Not really, as a spent the good majority of my time frantically counting my kids heads to make sure none of them was drowning.) Still, good times, good times. The kids were like little fish, in and out of the pool and hot tub all day long. Plus, we don't have to worry about getting Cryptosporidium from the pool because apparently the big pile of crap that was beside the pool was just duck poop. PhEW. Close call.

Kylie and Savy with their friend Keslee

My boys just chillin like villains in the hot tub

This is the only D picture of me that we got the whole weekend and Lewis didn't even tell me he was taking it! I put it on here because I want you to see how serious my face is. I am applying sunscreen to Kylie's face, because hey, safety first!

Highlight #3

EATING. We "the Nuttalls" know how to pack it away. I am not putting a picture of this on the blog for one reason. Have you ever seen that show on BBC America that's called "You are what you eat?" Well, for those of you who haven't seen the show, there's this part on it where they lay out all the food on a table that the person has consumed for the whole week. It is truly DISGUSTING! So, trust me, you do not want to see what I ate. BUT, if I had to paint a picture of it, it would look like this: Ice cream, peanut m and ms, tacos, chips, Samurai 21, cherry limeades, ice cream, did I say peanut m and ms, licorice, fruit snacks, pizza....and so forth and so forth. You get the idea right? I must have consumed 20 million calories in peanut m and ms alone. And let's not even talk about the night that we introduced Ben and Jerry to the condo. (Hello Ben and Jerry, meet EVERYONE. Karmel Sutra anyone??!) It got a little freaky to say the least. It was, oh so fun, and now I'm going to be paying the price. Oh well, C'est la vie.

Just one last thing to mention on this epic post. There was actually one (can you believe it?) low light of the trip. Is that even a word? What's the opposite of highlight?? Non-highlight? Oh, who cares. Moving on. Early Sunday morning, and I mean 1:30 in the am early, Savy fell off the bed. I knew that something was quite right, and after spending nearly 2 1/2 hrs at the Instacare on Sunday afternoon, we discovered that she had broken her clavicle. Not fun. Of course, this is kind of normal for something like this to happen to this girl, but still. Good thing it wasn't her arm and in a couple weeks she will be like new.

So there you have it. For all its worth we had a great time. Thanks Nana and Grandpa for letting us stay in your condo. Let's do it again next month K?

War of the Davids

2008-05-21T10:47:00.005-06:00

So tonight is the much anticipated finale to American Idol. This is it: The whole enchilada, finito, all the money, the end. I just have a few things to say about it. (And yes, I know that it is sort of pathetic that I care this much about reality T.V. But truly....I really don't care THAT much....I promise....I don't.) Now Utah's "very own" David Archuleta ( I say this in quotations because that is what every news channel in Utah is calling him) is up against David Cook. Since every Utahn, or Mormon, or Utah Mormon, or any combination thereof, is voting for David Archuleta, I just have two things to say:

1. Yes, I do still live in Utah

2. Yes, I do still believe the Church is true.

That being said: GO DAVID COOK!

Ketchup

2008-05-20T12:54:00.005-06:00

This morning I made the most amateur of all mothering mistakes. A big no-no in the world of toddlers and picky eaters alike. I let Savannah help me prepare dinner. See, for dinner tonight we are going to grill delicious shish kabobs, and therefore, the meat needs to marinate in the fridge all day so it will be deliciously scrumptious for tonight. So, I start to do my thing in the kitchen, when my adorable three year old all full of curiosity and such, asks if she can help me. I readily agree. I mean, don't all experts agree that it is good to cook with your children?? (I swear, I thought I heard that somewhere and don't ask me to quote who said it, I just know it to be true. or not.) Anyway moving right along, here is how the conversation went.

Me: Okay Savy, first we put in the soy sauce. Let's look on the recipe and see how much we need.

Savy: Ewww. That looks gross. Why are you putting that in there. I don't like that stuff.

Me: We are putting it in there because that's what the recipe tells us to do.You won't even taste it when we're done. I promise. Okay, next ingredient, brown sugar.

Savy: Are you sure you don't need this white sugar right here? This stuff is pretty, let's put this in instead.

Me: No Savy, the recipe calls for BROWN sugar, not POWDERED sugar. (Jeesh, mumbling and grumbling under my breath. Who invited this child to cook with me anyway?!)

And so it went with the next ingredients, vinegar (smells too yucky), garlic (disgusting) and lemon lime soda (why are you putting Sprite all over our meat???)

Me: Honey, this is really good. Just trust mom. You will love it. It will be delicious. You love steak on the BBQ, right? Well, this is just like that.

Savy: Can I eat it with sauce?

Me: Sure honey, we have steak sauce. That would be yummy.

Savy: No mom, I want to dip it in lots of ketchup!

Dear Ketchup,
You are a savior in our house. Many a meal could not have been consumed without your flavor masking powers. May you forever reign strong in our household and continue to use your powers of persuasion to get picky three year olds to EAT THEIR DINNERS! Thank you for your time.

Love, Mom

I Spy

2008-05-19T14:57:00.009-06:00

I Spy with my little eye WEEDS in the royal flower beds. GASP.....how scandalous! Someone better tell the royal gardener to get his butt, er, her butt in gear. The king does not take kindly to weeds. I guess I better go and change into my work clothes.......

P.S If anyone has the name of a good gardener will they give it to me ASAP. It seems like just yesterday I weeded these durn flower beds. I am no good at this stuff.

Tennis Lessons

2008-05-18T21:49:00.004-06:00

Just in case you pass me in the street and say to yourself, "Oh my, her right arm is looking exceedingly buff. I wonder what she is doing?" Just know that I have started taking TENNIS LESSONS. I am taking them with my sister-in-law, Aubree, and we are going to kick some butt. You see, I've discovered that you are never too old to learn a new hobby. After all, 30 is the new 20! Wish me luck!

Reverse Psychology

2008-05-16T21:29:00.004-06:00

Lately I have been trying my hand at a little reverse psychology on the chillins'. The older two just look at me like I am crazy, and Braden is too young to understand, but Savy is soaking it up like a sponge.

Savy, I say, whatever you do, DO NOT go and pick up your room. I mean it! Don't you dare do it!.....And off she is like a flash.

Savy, please, pretty please, DO NOT lay here on the couch and have a nap. Mommy wants you to stay up all day, follow her around the house while she is trying to clean, and ask incessant questions. The next thing I know she is crashed out on the couch with Dora blaring in the background.

And finally, Savy, please beat the living crap out of your brother. Push him, hit him, take toys away from him.....treat him like dirt. Whatever you do, don't you be kind to him..... Oh, I don't think this is working like I thought it would.......

Oh Well....I guess two out of three ain't bad!

Redemption

2008-05-15T11:27:00.005-06:00

For Mother's Day this year I asked for this: But what I actually got was this: (In black, of course.)
I think it was to make up for the year that I got this:

(This is a nice, hot cup of jack squat (just in case you didn't know.)

THANKS baby. You just totally redeemed yourself!

a prayer

2008-05-14T07:17:00.005-06:00

So says Savy in her prayer the other night: "Please bless dad as he lays in bed all day.....and all night.....watching sports.....and drinking cherry limeades......and eating ice cream......while mom bathes all the kids and puts them to bed herself." Amen

***Disclaimer: This post may or may not be an exact quote. Poetic license may/may not have been taken by the author.

P.S Love you Lewis!!:)

Can you say Bamboozled???!!

2008-05-12T13:39:00.003-06:00

So today I pick Kylie up from school and she tells me that Trace (the cute little blond boy that she has a crush on) just got his hair buzzed. And, at lunch time she gave Trace her fruit snacks, for (can you believe this??) the opportunity to rub his head for the rest of the day! HELLO! I think you got taken "behind the tool shed "my darling daughter. Mommy's sorry. I guess there are still some things I need to teach you.

Confessions of a wannabe runner

2008-05-12T09:02:00.006-06:00

last saturday, beautiful day. gimpy-in-bed-all-day husband who will watch the kids. time for some running. i strap on my brand new running shoes and head out the door. six miles. piece of cake. i can do this. in my sleep. or not. i start running. maybe i am too used to the treadmill. where is my csi. or survivor. or dexter. or anything. keep running. focus on the music. this isn't so bad. nice weather. wind in my hair. oh my gosh it's hot. i think i wore too many clothes. take off long sleeved shirt and throw in bushes. mental note, come back and pick this up later. cannot forget. i love that shirt. must keep running. cannot stop and walk when i have not even been running a mile. only losers do that. or me. can not breathe. this kinda sucks. legs hurt. knees hurt. why do i do this to myself....oooh jack johnson. i love him. he's hot. can't wait to see him in august. i can run to this. get in the groove. why is it that every guy that passes has to check out my...(really) great running skills. i know their nice. (jeesh.what did you think i was going to say?)pick up the pace. Fergie, i love ya sister but i'm gonna have to skip ya. sorry. big girls do cry. must find good song to run to. okay.here we go. a little Aerosmith..which reminds me. Aerosmith guitar hero. can't wait. love me some guitar hero. oh shiz. a hill. i can do this. i think i can. i think i can. i think i can die now. have not run this route since marathon training. those were the good old days. and nights. and mornings. at 4:00 am. hey, i think i peed in that person's yard. and that one too. yep. i'm almost sure i did. halfway there and in the groove. got a good pace going. thinking how lucky i am to be able to do this. thinking about guy in wheelchair at mile 7 of marathon watching all the runners. thinking of mile 7 at the marathon. holy crapola. did i really do that??!! eye of the tiger. must run faster. must refrain from punching in the air as i run. think rocky balboa. think strong. think thrown out shoulder. downhill. this is nice. kick up the pace. oh crap. laughing my butt off. thinking of one early morning run with kamie. thought we were going to be attacked by some man standing in the middle of the road. turns out it was a construction barrel. hey, there could be men that are four feet tall. and orange. and their names are oompa-loompas. in the home stretch. what's this? a parade for me? oh crap. forgot about opening day of baseball. please don't let this be like a high school reunion. please don't let me see anyone i know. suck in gut. run faster. think 5 min mile. c'mon ac-dc. carry me through. almost there. pick up discarded shirt from earlier. cross highway. only 3 houses away. 2. 1. flop on grass. screw the stretching. i am finished! that wasn't so bad. it almost feels as good as this:

almost.but then again.not quite.

Concern

2008-05-09T12:22:00.008-06:00

Should I be concerned that my extremely precious, lovable 22 month old has a bizarre fascination with knives and scissors?

You would never be able to tell by this picture, but if there is so much as a sharp instrument of any kind around (Scissors, knives, pronged forks, ice-picks, machetes, you name it...) he is drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He loves to watch me load the dishwasher and point out all the sharp knives to me while telling me that they are "sharp" and will "cut.' I was just wondering if he was destined to become, oh, let's say a sword maker, or if he is headed down that other path, that one that we won't mention ( cough- JeffreyDahmer)! Mom loves you B.

**On a side note, I am loving this picture that my THREE year old took....on my cell phone nonetheless! Yeah, she is somewhat of a child prodigy and will probably one day be as famous as_____________(insert the name of some famous photographer here.) Thanks Savy!

Fantasy Fulfilled

2008-05-07T15:13:00.004-06:00

One gimpy husband + One sponge bath + One nurses costume = 3 Times the Fun!

(Oh, and just kidding about the nurses costume. I just had to add that. Sorry Lew! You can't help it if you're a gimp! I love you anyway.)

Ms. Grumps

2008-05-06T14:29:00.008-06:00

Okay, I know it's a miracle. Two blog posts in one day. To celebrate my triumphant return to the blogging world I have one more quick story for you. This morning this girl:

Who is normally all smiles, woke up in the grumpiest of grumpy moods. There was just no reasoning with her and all my motivational talks about attitude and how it affects the rest of your day just didn't seem to be cutting it. So, I opted for the easy out. I told her this joke, (which normally I don't make it a habit of telling my children jokes centered around potty humor, exception: tigger in the toilet,) but I was desperate. Was I wrong? You be the judge.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (Get it? If you don't, start at the beginning and read again. Still don't get it? Well, then there's no hope for you at all!)

Guess what I was rewarded with? A hearty giggle and smiles all the way to the bus. I'd say Mission accomplished!

Oh, and as a side note, when I told this joke to Lewis he laughed for about five minutes. What is it about potty humor??!!!

Lesson Learned

2008-05-06T10:47:00.005-06:00

Well, last night I was trying to be a good mom. Which sometimes, in my book, means buying my kids random treats. (It's called bribery, look into it!) So, while at the grocery store, I picked up these little treats for a FHE surprise. (Truth be told, Savy picked the treats and I readily concurred. I remember loving these things as a child!) This is what she picked:

You remember this stuff, right? Three assorted flavors of "dip" (read: pure sugar in colored form) and two white sticks with which to lick and dip. Sounds easy, sounds fun right? WRONG. I left my kids in pure excitement. They jumped up and down when they saw the treat, proclaiming I was the best mother in the world! (These were Kylie's words not mine. Jeesh. Who do you think I am?) I walked away for five minutes....FIVE MINUTES.....to put the clothes away and what I came back to was a virtual bloodbath of fun dip mess! They had the colored dip everywhere! On their hands, on their faces, all over the counters, all over the floor (Newly mopped mind you. Oh the irony.) It was like a little lik-m-aid elf had walked into my kitchen and sneezed it's little colored sugar brains out all over the place. Savy had run out of the white sticks, meaning she ate them both, and was using her hands to shovel the "dip" right into her lovely face. Her hands and face were covered in the stuff, which in case you were wondering (I know you were) does not wash off. I sent her to bed looking like Elfaba (read: the Wicked Witch of the West.) She thought it was kinda neat.) So, to all your moms out there who desire to bribe your children's love with treats and such, I think there are better, less messy, ways to do so. Lesson Learned.

Spring Fever

2008-02-13T15:25:00.007-07:00

We have got it BAD! Braden, my true outside kid, makes a break for it every time the door is open. He is constantly telling my he wants to go bye bye and gathering his socks, shoes, coat and hat to go out the door. Yesterday, I finally broke down and let the kids play outside. It was beautiful and Braden was in heaven. He ran around outside like a crazy man and had a screaming fit when I brought him in the house. Please Spring, I am pleading with you, pretty pretty please COME SOON. We cannot live without you. We anxiously await your arrival. In the meantime, enjoy these cute pics of the kiddos in their winter gear! The hats on Braden are just too cute to resist.

That's My Boy

2008-01-02T20:34:00.000-07:00

To the little girl at the mall play place who walked up to my son, pushed him down and told him no......He may look like he is pure sunshine, all grins and giggles, but when he walks up to you, puts his finger your face and says "NO" in his sternest voice, then you know that you have a fourth child to contend with. Bravo, my son, good for you for holding your own. I hope that you can always stand up to those "Brats" in life.

The Very Best Babysitter

2008-01-02T20:21:00.001-07:00

So, Today Lewis and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary (Hollah) and had a great day. I love him so very much. But this post is not about the mushy...that is for another time, another place. I just quickly wanted to share with ya'll out in blog land a cute kiddo story. So, this morning I was getting breakfast for the kids and waxing sentimental about my wedding day 10 years ago. I was telling them about what time it was when we got married and some things about the temple. Then cute little Savy pipes up "Mom, who babysat us while you were at the temple." I then explained to my darling dear that Mommy didn't have any of them at that time, that it was just daddy and I. Without missing a beat Zachary responded, "So we were up in heaven and Jesus was babysitting us."

So, To Nana, Grandma, Aubree, Jimi, Theresa and anyone else who might have watched these rugrats.....you are all great babysitters....but you've got nothing on the big guy! Love you all.

Anxiety

2007-12-05T10:18:00.001-07:00

Well, this is the time of year that the inevitable happens. And no, I'm not talking about the stress of Christmas shopping, finding babysitters for all of our Christmas parties, or just the general hustle and bustle of this busy holiday season. My anxiety comes from of a different source: the fear of being discovered! For all of you parents out there, let me lay it down for you. I have had my Christmas shopping done for about a month now. This means that for the last month Christmas presents have been shopped for, delivered by my friendly neighborhood UPS guy (who I should know on a first name basis, yet strangely, I don't) and hidden in the depths of the basement. (Let's talk about "hidden" for a minute. This is not just your run of the mill "put your kids presents in your closet and hope that they don't go in there."These babies are hidden behind two locked doors, which if the kids manage to get through are yet behind another closed door (the furnace room) that I seriously doubt the kids even know exist!) Even still, let's pretend they even got that far. This is what they would see when they opened the door: a pant-load of amazon.com boxes, with the tops all closed, stacked on top of one another, with absolutely nothing of any worth showing at all!
But let me tell you, last night it happpened. I had the very first of one of my "Christmas" anxiety dreams. Let me break it down for you. You know those dreams where you are back in high school (yet you don't weigh the 105 pounds that you did in high school, which really sucks) you are instead you, in the current day. Now here are a couple scenarios. You have forgotten your locker combination and can't for the life of you seem to remember it, yet you try and try to get that sucker open. OR, there is a certain class that you haven't gone to all semester and now it's time to take the final, only you realize you don't know what in the heck you're going to be tested on. OR you show up to school with only a towel on. I could go on and on with many variations of the same dream, but needless to say, whenever I find myself having a dream like this, I have to step back and wonder what I have ANXIETY about in my life. But, at this time of year, and yes, It happens every year, I know exactly where the source is coming from. So, for less than three more weeks I will continue to experience stress in the form of random and meaningless dreams, until Christmas days arrives, and one more year gone without being discovered. Phew, I don't know how many more years I can pull this off.
Sweet Dreams.

26.2

2007-10-01T16:04:00.000-06:00

Well, the countdown has begun to my very first ever marathon. This Saturday I will be running in the St. George marathon. I can't believe the day is almost here. I am trying not to think about it too much because the thought of it makes me want to poop my pants. ( A very real possiblity as all you runners out there know.) Anyway, I am asking for the help of all of you. For me, running is a very mental thing, (Yes, I am kind of mental) and I was trying to think of a way that would help me get through those 26.2 miles...since I guess taking speed is illegal. So, I was talking to someone in my ward and she was telling me that when her sister ran a marathon she called up all her family members and asked them what "mile" they wanted. She then wrote all of her family members and what mile they were on her arms and whenever she ran that mile she thought of that person. Well, as much as I liked the idea, I decided to kick it up a notch (because I'm just like that.) So here's what I came up with...I want everyone to give me a song to run to. It doesn't matter what it is, who sings it, whatever. I will then put that song into my play list and viola! whenever that song comes on I will think of YOU! So make em good, make em creative, make em yours.I am excited to see what you will tell me. There are not limits, heck if I am running to High School Musical (thanks Zach and Kylie) then I can run to anything. I love you all. See you at the finish line!

A Letter

2007-08-10T18:48:00.000-06:00

Dear Eclipse,

Why are you taunting me? When I ordered you on Monday, you said that you would arrive in 5-7 business days. You are a few days early, and it is really causing me stress. Do you realize what I have to do today? I have piles and piles of laundry, a kitchen floor that needs mopping, a husband due to arrive tonight. I have kids that need to be fed, and cleaned up after, and fed, and cleaned up after again. I need to referee fights and combat the whines of "Mom, there's nothing to do. What can we do???" I have toilets that need to be scrubbed, a toy room that is an absolute monstrosity, and somewhere in all the middle of this I need to find time to take a shower! And yet, every time I pass you sitting so prettily in your amazon.com box, it takes all the willpower I have to look away. If I mop the kitchen floor can I sit down and read for 15 minutes?? Alas, I better not....15 minutes will turn into 2 hours and 2 hours into 2 days. Oh why, oh why can't today I be a full time reader, part time mom?

Thanks for listening. Until we meet.

Love, Me

A Tale of Two Hares

2007-08-09T21:33:00.002-06:00

Once upon a time in the house of Nuttall, there lived a happy family with four beautiful children, and two, (ahem), semi-cute pets. One day while the king was out of town, these two playful bunnies were found missing. Upon searching the entire kingdom, it was discovered that the hares, once suspected being naughty bunnies for running away, were actually chased by some viscous animals. Fearing for their lives the rabbits took cover under the royal palace. (Read: under the deck.) One bunny was immediately discovered shaking in his very boots, but alas, the second rascal was not to be seen. It was soon discovered that the bunny had fallen down the window well. The royals subjects were much dismayed, for they know that the queen was a royal wimp and could not, would not, get into the window well to rescue this precious animal because her aracnophobia was too, too overwhelming. At a loss for what to do, it was soon impressed upon the royal children to call the "Bunny Whisperer. " (AKA Grandpa.) As soon as he could tear himself away from beautifying his beautiful palace, he hurried down to rescue the traumitized little bunnies. With gloves and gentle hands he wisked those bunnies to saftey and the royal children (and royal queen) will forever be grateful for his bravery. And the queen and the children lived happily every after, and counted down the minutes until the king of the house would FINALLY get home. The End

Dearest Grandpa, You are the absolute very best! Thank you for coming to our house to save our darling pets and for not being a wimp when it came to black widows and wasps. We love you and will always remember how you saved our precious (Ahem) Pets! We love you so, and will always remember you as the "Bunny Whisperer!" Love, Zach, Kylie, Savannah and Braden (Oh, and Mom too.)

One year is almost here

2007-07-11T19:12:00.001-06:00

I hope that what I wrote here does some of the justice to how I feel about my sweetest final child. Happy Birthday Baby Bauer.

The surprise party:

So, Let's pretend that someone is throwing you a surprise party. The only thing is, you don't want a party. You don't like surprises, your hair needs to be cut, you don't want to have a bunch of people messing up your house...you can think of a million reasons why a surprise party would not suit you this year. Yet a surprise party is planned nonetheless and you have no choice in the matter. So you go, but not without dragging your feet and complaining the whole way. And some people will understand that you just don't want to have a party this year, and some people wonder why you just can't get over it. It's a surprise party for heavens sake, and who wouldn't be excited about that. So you get to the party, and before you know it you're starting to enjoy yourself. Did you know that there would be cake at this party???And presents?? And look at all these people that care about you. You're having so much fun that pretty soon you wonder what it was you were so reluctant about in the first place. A surprise party isn't all that bad. In fact, it's sort of Fun. And later that night, when you're at home reflecting on your day you realize this: A surprise party was just what you needed...and someone loved you just enough to throw you one.

To my dear Braden....I will always and forever be grateful that you graced our home with your sweet spirit. Someone knew just what they were doing sending you into our lives. We love you, we love you and wish you the very best birthday ever. I can't believe how fast this last year has gone by. With you, my dear, sweet son, we definitely ended on a "high note." I love you.
P.S I hope you enjoy the video montage that I made. I spent the latter half of the day neglecting my children, so I hope it was worth it. Just click on the picture to watch it.
You Have Stolen my Heart

SICKOS

2007-07-10T22:16:00.001-06:00

Just to warn everyone...do not come near the house of Nuttall. We have sick kiddos here and it is not fun. There is some nasty flu bug going around and it is making the rounds through our family and we are praying that it will run it's course before Zach's Baptism. (I'm sure it will, as two kids are already better and it takes about three days to run it's course. ) It's a nasty one, I'm telling you. And, there is absolutely nothing worse than having your children sick. I have reflected long and hard on this and have come to this conclusion: I WANT MY KIDS BETTER. I want them to run and play, to want to eat meals (heck, to even ask for a thousand snacks a day.) I want them to talk, to laugh, to not want to sleep and watch T.V all day. And here's the clincher, I even miss their fighting! My home stays too neat, is too quiet, and feels foreign to me. The other day on a car ride home from Orem all four of them did not make ONE PEEP. This is not my life, so will someone please order up my life for me and give it back. Thanks for listening to my rant. I am sleep deprived, stinky (not showered), un-exercised (is this even a word???), and at my wits end. Oh, well, such is life with children, sicknesses and all.

Shiver me Timbers!

2007-07-07T18:14:00.001-06:00

Ahoy Mateys! Yesterday we celebrated Zachary's 8th birthday with a pirate birthday party. We had 10 boys that Zach had invited to his party (two of the boys are not pictured) and we had a great time. Initially, I thought that this was going to be an ordeal. !0 young boys can have a tendency to get out of hand at times (thank you captain obvious), but I just thought they if they got too naughty I would make them "swab the deck" (And let's be honest...my kitchen floor did need a little attention. ) Although crazy at times, these boys were good for the most part. We played a few party games, Like pin the nose on the pirate clown (Thanks to Maryanne for giving us this leftover prize that no one would take at the bbq. C'mon ya'll, WHY did no one want a pin the nose on the clown party game???) We had a treasure hunt and had ice cream cones for dessert. It was short and sweet (Just an hour long) and fun for all who attended, because seriously....Is there a better, funnier, sweeter Mom than me??? I don't think so. Zach had a lot of fun, although due to some stomach bug the day before was only running at about 70%. (Poor kiddo, it sucks to be sick on your b-day.) Hope you enjoy these pictures from his fun day. I still can't believe my little boy is EIGHT YEARS OLD. Time goes by too quickly. I love you Zachy, you will always and forever be my Z-man, doodle bug, and doot doots. Happy Birthday little guy!

Dollar Store Fun

2007-06-20T15:41:00.001-06:00

Okay, so here's the dealio....I hate the dollar store...hate it, hate it and hate it! My kiddos, however, love that dang place. So, one of the rewards that we have is getting to go to the dollar store and picking three things of their choice. This is the reward choice that I dread. That place is filled with junk, plain and simple, and my kids have yet to pick one toy that I didn't want to chuck in the garbage the minute that their backs are turned. (This, by the way, is a fine art...I call it "getting rid of your kids crap without them knowing" I am a semi-professional at this. If any of ya'll need pointers, I'd be glad to give them to you.) Anyway, on this fine day, My dearest Kylie picks none other than a wig of the most disgusting, fake, pink, curly hair that you could ever imagine! I was appalled, but, not letting my distaste show, calmly tried to say to Ky "Are you sure honey? Are you sure that this is what you want???!!!" Well, for those of you that know Kylie......once she makes up her mind....the rest is history. So, the pictures that you guys have the pleasure of viewing are what I like to call "Fun with a nasty pink wig." Hope you enjoy.

Our New Pet

2007-06-01T13:05:00.002-06:00

Now, I know you guys all know that we have bunnies...but have you ever seen a pet as cute as this??? Savy thought she would crawl in the rabbit cage and just chill for awhile, and I, of course, had to capture this precious moment on film. Just look at that smile. First prize goes to the person that can identify the movie from this quote..."Better get used to those bars, Kid!"

Lemonade Stand

2007-05-31T21:39:00.000-06:00

Oh the Lemonade Stand...a rite of passage for every child. And who doesn't get sick of obnoxious kids knocking on your door and asking if you want to buy something? Well, this time it was our obnoxious kids! Zach and Kylie desperately wanted to sell something, and after a couple of weak attempts trying to sell Water (No, I'm not kidding) and lemonade where you squeeze a dirty lemon into a glass of water (still not kidding) I decided to help them do it right. I figured I would buy them the stuff and let them keep all the profits. The cookies were the big money maker and the kids actually made $16! Now how's that for a Lemonade Stand!

This is fun!!!

2007-05-29T12:51:00.000-06:00

Florrie got me started on this "blogging" stuff and I have to say it is a bit addicting. I'm having fun trying to create our page. I hope that everyone likes it. -Lewis

2007-05-26T08:56:00.000-06:00

Holy Poo! I just created a blog....and it wasn't even hard! First I get a cell phone and now I'm a blogger. The planets must be out of whack or something. I will try to put some pictures on later, but for now I must go and quit neglecting my children.